"As long as he treats me right, it matters not if he's Christian"

[irc333]

Though , the topic is just paraphrased, but I have a female friend (one not so into debauchery, but rather conservative and a low key nice woman).

 

Though she's highly involved in her church, plays in the choir, active in her kids involvement as well, she's currently with a guy who...well, is more of an agnostic if anything. And she tells me , she is fine with that. Though the last time he set foot in a church was in his teen years, he treats her right and are compatible in every other way.

 

And that's all that matters to HER

 

Though, it's not surprising, I know married women that attend church routinely, while the husband is out golfing. Not sure if that's a strain on the marriage or not, but I'm sure it doesn't matter that much to her, yes?

 

I'm just finding that there are certain things that trump religion when it comes to dating as long as they compatible in a non-religious way, he's loyal, romantic, and all the other non-religious things when it comes to dating.

 

How many people do you know are like this?

[M30USA]

Is this the same girl that you spoke of in this post?

 

https://www.loveshack.org/forums/mind-body-soul/spirituality-religious-beliefs/453933-though-she-avid-church-go-er-she-may-still-wild-child

 

I would question her authenticity of being Christian. She might be what I call a "cultural Christian", born into a Christian family, living in a Christian culture, and taking on all the external appearances of a Christian, but not being genuine. In other words, if she lived in a Muslim culture, she'd chameleon into a Muslim.

 

I am not criticizing her for being imperfect. Everybody is. But she clearly places her relationship with Jesus low on the list.

Edited January 11, 2014 by M30USA

[irc333]

Is this the same girl that you spoke of in this post?

 

https://www.loveshack.org/forums/mind-body-soul/spirituality-religious-beliefs/453933-though-she-avid-church-go-er-she-may-still-wild-child

 

I would question her authenticity of being Christian. She might be what I call a "cultural Christian", born into a Christian family, living in a Christian culture, and taking on all the external appearances of a Christian, but not being genuine. In other words, if she lived in a Muslim culture, she'd chameleon into a Muslim.

 

I am not criticizing her for being imperfect. Everybody is. But she clearly places her relationship with Jesus low on the list.

 

No completely different woman, not the "wild child", very conservatively dressed in her appearance and doesn't "flaunt" herself.

 

She told me that her personal relationship with Jesus is the only thing that matters and that of her mates is not important to you. He treats her right, they are compatible in many ways, and of course she's attracted to him in all aspects of his personality. She had no real concern about the intensity of his relationship with Christ. Though he "believes" he's a bit ho-hum about it and would rather stay home on a Sunday morning than join her.

[Allumere]

She has it right IMHO. She understands that her relationship with God is just that, hers! And she is strong enough on her own to keep God as the primary focus. I also think that she is wise enough to realize the value of the other person and that he was a gift in her life, not someone to pitch because they were not perfectly aligned, not someone sent by the devil to tempt her or draw her away from God. I think way too many times Christians (and I am referring to the more conservative, literal bible folk) throw the baby out with the bath water so to speak when it comes to relationships. I am not saying that it isn't normal or wrong to want to be with another Christian at all (no I do not believe it is mandatory although strongly advised in the Bible and many folks would understand why and agree), but I think they overlook the fact that God does usually give us what we need verses what we want...including that ungodly guy or gal that truly loves and cares for us in good times and in bad, that is our best friend to share our joys and happiness, our hurts and sorrows, that may not share our beliefs but respects them and listens, that is humble, honest and loyal.

[irc333]

I think way too many times Christians (and I am referring to the more conservative, literal bible folk) throw the baby out with the bath water so to speak when it comes to relationships.

 

Good point and analogy. I tend to live among some of them in this smaller rural area. Some won't even kiss before marriage, nor believe in traditional dating. It's almost like they're Amish around here.

 

When I was going to college in my early 20's, I took an interest in a woman, but she was already spoken for. Apparently, she has a boyfriend, but regardless of her adult age of, but young adult age, her parents wouldn't let her be alone on a typical date with her boyfriend.

 

The time spent together had to be spent at the parent's house of the daughter, nothing more. Not sure how one can live like that though. Maybe she was itchin' to get married to this man and get out from under her parents roof....who knows?

[M30USA]

The Bible warns of being "unequally yoked" to either an unbeliever or a believer of greatly different maturity.

 

You can't say that your spouse is a separate issue from your relationship to God. This is because your choice of spouse is the single biggest determinant of what your life will turn into. If she claims that it doesn't matter what her spouse believes, the more likely explanation is that she doesn't care what SHE believes since "how she is treated" is clearly a higher priority than God.

 

Honestly, you guys MIGHT be a good pair. I don't mean to offend here, but she sounds like a Christian going through the external motions. You guys might be fine together then.