irc333 Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 With all the criticism from women on how when they receive emails they get sick of the sexual comments or just the "Hey" or "What's up" emails. However, in my experience, when I "give it my all" in my initial email, I have gotten VERY few responses, the ones that DID respond were floored by my emails actually, they really were impressed that I could put words together that where "Before" wasn't "B4" or "You too" was not a rock band. lol But a vast majority of women that I emailed weren't responsive no matter what technique I used. In fact, I enjoy the outdoors, right? In fact, I have a few favorite parks I like to hike and camp out at their venues. A woman mentions she enjoys kayaking, hiking, etc. I don't say in the initial email, "Hey, I like kayaking and hiking too!" But I get a little more detailed. I would say something like, "I enjoy hiking and kayaking too, I particurely like <name of state or national park> as a venue to hike/camp" or "I like the <name of river> that I like to kayak" even give some of the details about said river as I know of one river that has a "rope swing" that people like to stop off and have fun there. That being said, STILL I don't get a response most of the time. I saw this one woman, a wildlife biologist. Now, me being an environmentalist, I'm rather well read in environmental issues. So I try to find out what if she comes across any endangered or protected spieces in her area....to try to "hook" her into a conversation there. Now you would THINK that would at LEAST get them interested in the TOPIC enough to say "Hey, this guy sounds like he's got something going for him" and you could actually bait her into the topic at hand and go from there. Nope....still nothing. Now, we all probably now know why. With all the complaints about "Men just want sex or one night stands on this site!" or two-word conversations....chances are, they are probably just looking at the pics, the height requirements, etc. and going "Great, he knows about wildlife radio telemetry and tracking, but....sorry, he isn't 6 feet tall....not gonna happen". That all being said, it is kind of sad and discouraging. But I AM banking on if this woman had met me in person, she might be more keen in getting to know me or at least joining me for a drink. I was wondering what your thoughts are on this? I mean, with all the women complaining about the sexual propositions, they tend to mention anything about the intelligent emails from the men that had contacted them. I"m almost banking that with the ratio of the amount of pervs (probably tons daily VS. the amt of well articulated emails....they mention nothing of those emails, do they? I dunno, I'm just having a hard time buying the fact they've not received ONE intelligent and well thought out email. Link to post Share on other sites
leftfordead2 Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 Did you ask em any questions in your initial message? Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted January 11, 2014 Author Share Posted January 11, 2014 Did you ask em any questions in your initial message? Yes, I said that in my post already. Link to post Share on other sites
BlametheIrish Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 I think tge probabity of those women wanting you in real life is the same as online. The may take to.your personality in real lifer easier but whatever issues the OLD women will have with you, sp.will the women you meet in real life. I liked your messages btw maybe because I'm a huge outdoor enthusiast myself including kayaking. As long as you didnt seem like a creep in your profile and you.were at least average looking I.would have messaged you back. Some women are more picky than others. They went online to.find their version of a perfect guy, sadly they will most likely be very dissappointed when their inflexible standards cause them to.remain single for some time. Just like dating in real life, it's a numbers game. I'd say stay on the path your going as again most women don't want sexual messages, short "hi" type of messages and anything that feels like next to.zero.effort was,put in the message. One last thing. You cone off as a but bittr online, are you sure that isn't apparant to the women.you're corresponding with on.OLD or in your profile? Lots of women pick up on that stuff easier than you'd think. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted January 11, 2014 Author Share Posted January 11, 2014 I am glad that you would response. Actually, I don't come off as bitter in my initial email or profile. Though I did mention I don't like long, sleeve tats and other body graffitti (added that recently), but that's about it. Don't mistake my posts here to be a reflection of how I portray myself in my correspondence with women though. The message board does serve the purpose of a "sounding board" to most. lol What I post here cannot be compared to how I interact with women normally. Though it's kind of taboo to make lists of what you don't want, I made it at least the point to do that. I think tge probabity of those women wanting you in real life is the same as online. The may take to.your personality in real lifer easier but whatever issues the OLD women will have with you, sp.will the women you meet in real life. I liked your messages btw maybe because I'm a huge outdoor enthusiast myself including kayaking. As long as you didnt seem like a creep in your profile and you.were at least average looking I.would have messaged you back. Some women are more picky than others. They went online to.find their version of a perfect guy, sadly they will most likely be very dissappointed when their inflexible standards cause them to.remain single for some time. Just like dating in real life, it's a numbers game. I'd say stay on the path your going as again most women don't want sexual messages, short "hi" type of messages and anything that feels like next to.zero.effort was,put in the message. One last thing. You cone off as a but bittr online, are you sure that isn't apparant to the women.you're corresponding with on.OLD or in your profile? Lots of women pick up on that stuff easier than you'd think. Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted January 11, 2014 Author Share Posted January 11, 2014 ...speaking of which, man you'd be surprised how many women come off as bitter in their profiles. Some even delete their whole written profiles with, "I don't think men even read the profiles, so I deleted all that I had once had here, because I think they just look at the pictures and nothing more". 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Imajerk17 Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 It might help if you posted some of the emails you send. Minus any identifying details of course. Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted January 11, 2014 Author Share Posted January 11, 2014 It might help if you posted some of the emails you send. Minus any identifying details of course. well, the email is not "Hey cutie" or "Hey". I believe I provided enough information in the initial post to give an idea of what I of the point I was making. You know, elaborating on their interests, finding something specific in THEIR profile and ask them questions about it, things like that. More than just saying, "I like kayaking and hiking,too...let's get together". kind of email 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Targetlock Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 I also have the same issue, i spend a while trying to write out thoughtful and interesting messages but i rarely get a response must be some kind of trick to it i guess or something. Link to post Share on other sites
Teraskas Posted January 12, 2014 Share Posted January 12, 2014 (edited) I also have the same issue, i spend a while trying to write out thoughtful and interesting messages but i rarely get a response must be some kind of trick to it i guess or something. Same here. :/ Seems to me that there are several 'test phases' which we have to go through. Test 1: Initial message you've sent actually has content and is meaningful compared to all the other messages she receives. Sometimes your message is not even read at all because it's lost in the avalanche of crap messages she receives. Other times she does read it, but either has a short attention span or 'meh' attitude which result in never receiving a reply at all. Test 2: When you've actually managed to get your message read, and she did find it interesting, there's the 'profile test'. She will visit your profile and view your pics, but chances are highly likely that she's going to turn you down because somehow the profile pics turned her off or she found something else which doesn't fit with her inflexible standards. Test 3: If and when you've managed to survive the Profile test phase, there's a slim chance that she'll go back to the Original message and contact you. Test 4: Lastly, once you get the conversation rolling there's still the probability that she's on the site looking for other guys. Somehow, I always get stranded on Phase I, rarely get past phase 2, and extremely rarely things manage to materialise past phase 3. Those that did, always ended up in phase 4, lol. :/ Edited January 12, 2014 by Teraskas Link to post Share on other sites
genuinelyloverly7 Posted January 12, 2014 Share Posted January 12, 2014 I an on OLD and I personally make it a point to always respond to someone who puts effort into their message/email to me. The hi's and booty calls get nothing. But for those who seem genuinely interested, I will at least say "I'm sorry I'm already talking to someone else right now", or no thank you. And to speak realistically, there are just as many shallow women out there as men, so of course your going to have some meanies. I say focus on the few that do respond, and maybe ask yourself why those were not acceptable to you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Frank2thepoint Posted January 12, 2014 Share Posted January 12, 2014 Now, we all probably now know why. With all the complaints about "Men just want sex or one night stands on this site!" or two-word conversations....chances are, they are probably just looking at the pics, the height requirements, etc. and going "Great, he knows about wildlife radio telemetry and tracking, but....sorry, he isn't 6 feet tall....not gonna happen". That all being said, it is kind of sad and discouraging. But I AM banking on if this woman had met me in person, she might be more keen in getting to know me or at least joining me for a drink. Many people are a bit more open-minded in person when meeting, especially if there's an interesting conversation starter. For OLD, it's really a catalog, with flat, two-dimensional pictures determining if there will be any attraction. The description you provide in your profile is really ancillary. But the truth is, most people never truly know what they want, until they see it live in person. Link to post Share on other sites
Disillusioned Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 If it's OLD, I wouldn't waste effort by giving it my all. In fact, I wouldn't give it my any. Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 I was only on OLD for 2 days so I'm not exactly exceptionally experienced, but I responded to every single message that was coherent. I even responded to the "Hi." messages at first but quickly found that led to "Gurl you lookin sexy" messages that then got ignored. If it was actually even any sort of an attempt at a conversation, I responded. In those 2 days I got about 15 messages. Half of which were garbage "sexy ass lips on that face" type of crap. The other half were nice and coherent. Of those 7 or so that were coherent, half of them sorta just fizzled out, whether the conversation just wasn't going anywhere or the guy disappeared. That left me with about 3 that were having nice chats with me. The first one to ask me out got the date with me, we hit it off like nobody's business, and we both deleted our OLD profiles. We are now happily in a relationship. His ability to have just a simple chat with me is what worked. Clearly that does not work for every girl, because here you are, sending really great messages and getting lousy results. The point of my story is that the right girl will be thrilled by your messages. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted January 15, 2014 Author Share Posted January 15, 2014 Many people are a bit more open-minded in person when meeting, especially if there's an interesting conversation starter. For OLD, it's really a catalog, with flat, two-dimensional pictures determining if there will be any attraction. The description you provide in your profile is really ancillary. But the truth is, most people never truly know what they want, until they see it live in person. Good point, in person, chances are if I had met this woman face to face at some kind of symposium or just a social gathering, she'd probably go out with me. The irony of online dating is, some women (or people of both genders), would probably have not rejected/ignored someone in person as they would have done so easily online. I recall a gentleman on POF that said there's this woman in town, emailed her, got not response (just a like a lot of emails to women got ignored)....then he saw her out in public, recognized her from the POF site, and approached her, chatted her up. She was indeed interested in him in PERSON. They went out a few times, and he finally revealed that he had emailed her on the dating site, she was rather astonished! She said, "I wouldn't have ignored your email if I knew you were like this in person!!" Funny, people say, "The great thing about online dating is, you get to meet people that you wouldn't normally meet online" But in the same breath, they would probably reject people they probably wouldn't normally reject....in PERSON! LOL Link to post Share on other sites
acrosstheuniverse Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 (edited) It's a pretty simple formula... send a personalised message, keep it simple. Mention something she's said on her profile and ask a question about it. That's it. It can be one line. From thereon, she will look at your profile, assess whether she finds the potential to be attracted to you and whether she likes what you've written. If she likes you, and your message is clearly individual to her, she will almost always reply. I always without fail ignore the copy and paste messages, I don't even bother looking at the guy's profile. I got hundreds a day when I first created my account and I'm not interested in someone who just takes a scattergun approach to every female. Nor do I expect or want something long... it takes 30 seconds to write a personalised email. From there I'll check his profile, see if he interests me and then respond. If nobody is responding to that then maybe get some advice on your profile to make it look more interesting, if you're not the most stereotypically attractive person take some arty shots with instagram filters or focus on pics that show you doing something with your hands (holding a guitar is always a winner even if all you can do is play a few chords haha). Write a more engaging and witty profile. Easier said than done! Edited January 15, 2014 by acrosstheuniverse Link to post Share on other sites
Biscous Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 Attraction helps a lot. Meaning if the person you're sending to is attracted to you. Funny women complain about men not putting through into messages...I rarely get a well thought out initial message from a woman who took time to read my profile. It's usually a "Hi my name is x" or "Hello". Not that I care. I deleted all my OLD stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 A clever, well written message is the tipping point if I am on the fence about a guy due to looks. Link to post Share on other sites
Disillusioned Posted January 16, 2014 Share Posted January 16, 2014 If you MUST write an OLD e-mail, it will make a much better impression if your English is better that the Cookie Monster's. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
acrosstheuniverse Posted January 16, 2014 Share Posted January 16, 2014 If you MUST write an OLD e-mail, it will make a much better impression if your English is better that the Cookie Monster's. Agreed. If somebody makes a LOT of spelling mistakes I don't really reply, either they're probably at a very significantly different level than I am academically (I'm no doctor but I'm a postgrad student and tend to find more stimulating conversation long-term with someone else of a similar level) or they've put zero effort in. The occasional 'your/you're/ mix up I overlook, or even a 'there/their/they're' simply because they're such common errors. But it's hard to take someone seriously when their entire message reads like: hi babey u r so gawjus id love 2 take u outt this weekend, do u want 2? ... I don't Link to post Share on other sites
Disillusioned Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 Agreed. If somebody makes a LOT of spelling mistakes I don't really reply, either they're probably at a very significantly different level than I am academically (I'm no doctor but I'm a postgrad student and tend to find more stimulating conversation long-term with someone else of a similar level) or they've put zero effort in. The occasional 'your/you're/ mix up I overlook, or even a 'there/their/they're' simply because they're such common errors. But it's hard to take someone seriously when their entire message reads like: hi babey u r so gawjus id love 2 take u outt this weekend, do u want 2? ... I don't Agreed. THAT sort of nonsense makes me think the author had a really debilitating stroke. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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