with my girlfriend? She makes big things out of nothing.

[andreap]

I love her but this really ticks me off. Whenever we have a "problem", she does not talk to me for the rest of the day. Note that I quoted the world problem. That is because I dont know they are problems until I see her angry. For me they are normal disgreements that should not become such a big issue. For the her, they become this monumental things. She doesnt become disrespectful or anything, she just stays quiet and you can see that she is really annoyed. Yesterday though it really bothered me. She was going to sleep in her friend´s house with her other friends from high school. Her friend was sad because her boyfriend had to leave the country for a while. I told her it was cool, that she had to support her friend. However, I would really like to spend some part of Friday night with her before dropping her off. She agreed with me, she wanted that too. Two hours pass by and she already wanted to leave to go to her friend´s house. It was 8:30pm, really early. I told her that we could watch a short movie or something, that I could drop her off at 10:30pm. She did not want to, because supposelly her friend told everyone to go at 9pm. Now call me crazy, but isnt she suppose to stay eating, dreaking and chatting until sunrise in a sleepover? Why does it matter if she arrives at 1 hour later? She got angry that I did not like that she was ending our date so soon. She proceeded to not talk to me for the rest of the dinner and during our trip back to her friends house. I drop her off, she just said thank you and went into her friend´s house. Two hours later she just text me to ask me If I arrived ok to my house (and two missed calls). I said yes, and that was that. I have not heard from her since then. Is it just me, or should I NOT be ok with the fact that not only is she angry, but that after having our disagreement she left me hanging and went to spend all night with her friends in a sleep over. I mean, I could never do that to her.

Edited January 11, 2014 by andreap

[bubbaganoosh]

She's a drama queen and for some reason your letting her have her way.

 

When she starts with the cold shoulder routine which seems to be pretty often as you claim, IMO, tell her to take it someplace else because your tired of it and when she's ready to talk rather than act like a spoiled child then you'll talk.

 

My first wife was like that. She would get pissed and hold a grudge for days and it was not a pleasant experience. Then when she was through being mad, she expected everything to go back to normal.

 

One day I got pissed and told her that I didn't want to hear it and turned the tables on her for a couple days. She didn't like the treatment she was getting and I finally told her that I didn't either so she should stop with the behavior.

 

Of course it didn't work and after ten years it was enough. Point is, it's ignorant to act in such a manner and either put a stop to it or be prepared for it to only get worse.

[andreap]

Thanks for your reply. She is a really wonderful girl an I love her very much. But this however is something that really shocks me. Imagine if some day we have a really BIG problem, something really serious. I could only imagine how she would act in that type of scenario. She is smart, beautiful and perfect in every way. This character flaw however, could really hurt her in the long term. How are we suppose to confront issues together if she is making such a big deal out of small things? Its really something to think about.

[d0nnivain]

It takes two to tango.

 

 

You knew she had plans to spend time with her friends but wanted to see her too. She agreed but at 8:30 wanted to leave. She should have told you before that she was expected at 9:00. When you wouldn't compromise & let her go, she became annoyed. She needed to communicate her annoyance with you better but you knew she had plans & she had given you some time so you should have let her go, albeit reluctantly.

[andreap]

I knew she had plans, an I was the one that told her that she should spend the time with her girlfriend. That is not the problem for me. The problem is her attitude afterwards. She gets so mad, that she does not talk to me during dinner, during the trip back to her friend´s house, and during the whole time she hangs out with her friends. That is was bother me. I would have never done that. I cant imagine fighting with my girlfriend and leave her without solving anything to drink and have fun with my buddies the whole night. You see what I mean?

[andreap]

Just to be clear, before the night started I gave my girlfriend two options. One, we could have dinner by her house so I can drop her off inmediatly in her friend´s house afterward. Two, I was going to pick her up and bring her back to where I live (which is far, 1 hour trip just to pick her up and come back) so that we can spend more time together. She chose the second option. Imagine my surprise when I go, pick her up, come back and during dinner tells me that she have to go early. I told her, I gave you the first option, why did you make me do all these trips if you still wanted to leave after dinner! So I had to go back drop her off and come back again, another 1 hour trip.

Edited January 11, 2014 by andreap

[d0nnivain]

Again . . . even with the additional details, poor communication.

 

 

Her not talking / giving you the silent treatment is a sign of immaturity. Adults talk about the stuff that is bothering them.

[Mariposa10]

I think you mentioned high school? So you two must be young. Just tell her her actions do not help. Tell her her actions hurt you and that you know that's not what she wants to do but that's what her actions are doing.

 

You two need to communicate better, if you two don't achieve that soon, things are not gonna work out.

[darkmoon]

"but isnt she suppose to stay eating, dreaking and chatting until sunrise in a sleepover?"

 

sorry, but in saying this, you sound like you want to be clever and correct

 

 

try saying "yes okay" to stuff, it is only a sleep-over ffs

Edited January 12, 2014 by darkmoon

[melell]

Let your girlfriend do whatever she chooses to do, if you are not happy with her choices, go and get a new girlfriend.

 

You cannot force her to see things from your perspective, and vice versa. Getting into a fight about it helps nothing- with particularly stubborn personalities it can actually make people less likely to see things from each others point of you.

 

Let her be, judge her actions, if you don't like it, move on.

[locabs]

Don't take this wrong, but you sound like the one with the problem. She told you ahead of time that she had plans with her girlfriends, you should give her respect and understand that her world doesn't just involve you. An hour late, 10 minutes late, whatever, she had other plans. Why should she drop what she has just because you say so? Her friend needed her. If I was her, I wouldn't have given you the silent treatment, but I would of been a little upset and wondering why my boyfriend isn't being understanding.