Why do I get so jealous?

[jsbu2017]

I have been with my girlfriend for a year and a half now and I still get very jealous. I am 20 and she is 19. Prior to our relationship, she was never in a serious, committed relationship and I was in one that ended in my ex cheating on me. At the beginning of our relationship, I found out that she was texting/messaging a few guys and one of whom happened to be a past "thing." We sat down and had a long talk about it and she explained that what she did was wrong and didn't realize it was hurting me so much. I could tell she was genuinely sorry and since then, she has not given me a reason to be jealous of another guy. Between then and now, I would occasionally become jealous if a guy would try texting her or messaging her, but as our relationship became more stable, the more I stopped becoming jealous. The problem is that I find myself now becoming increasingly jealous of other guys. Even if it is someone she follows on twitter/adds on facebook, or someone who likes her instagram picture. I trust my girlfriend 110% and know that she would never do anything to intentionally hurt me. She comes from a very good family and is the once in a lifetime type of girl that you would give your life for. I've talked to her a few times about it and she gets upset and somewhat annoyed that I am still jealous after a long time. I can tell that me getting jealous really gets to her and I hate the fact that I hurt her with my jealous thoughts. I know it's normal to be a little jealous but the extent to which I am jealous just destroys my happiness and hurts her even more. Does anybody have advice or tips to share or similar stories and ways in which you overcame it? Any help is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading.

[crimsonite]

I have been with my girlfriend for a year and a half now and I still get very jealous. I am 20 and she is 19. Prior to our relationship, she was never in a serious, committed relationship and I was in one that ended in my ex cheating on me. At the beginning of our relationship, I found out that she was texting/messaging a few guys and one of whom happened to be a past "thing." We sat down and had a long talk about it and she explained that what she did was wrong and didn't realize it was hurting me so much. I could tell she was genuinely sorry and since then, she has not given me a reason to be jealous of another guy. Between then and now, I would occasionally become jealous if a guy would try texting her or messaging her, but as our relationship became more stable, the more I stopped becoming jealous. The problem is that I find myself now becoming increasingly jealous of other guys. Even if it is someone she follows on twitter/adds on facebook, or someone who likes her instagram picture. I trust my girlfriend 110% and know that she would never do anything to intentionally hurt me. She comes from a very good family and is the once in a lifetime type of girl that you would give your life for. I've talked to her a few times about it and she gets upset and somewhat annoyed that I am still jealous after a long time. I can tell that me getting jealous really gets to her and I hate the fact that I hurt her with my jealous thoughts. I know it's normal to be a little jealous but the extent to which I am jealous just destroys my happiness and hurts her even more. Does anybody have advice or tips to share or similar stories and ways in which you overcame it? Any help is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading.

 

I think you're jealousy is coming from the fact that you were cheated on. Your heart is building up a wall of protection cause now you feel like every guy has a chance on your girl. If you trust her 110% like you mentioned, you should have absolute trust and faith in your girl to not do anything unfaithful and hurt you. Try running that through your head everytime you get jealous. It's tough process but you can do it. If she's the one she won't disappoint you.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/cheating-flirting-jealousy/454654-i-suspect-she-s-cheating

[fixing]

Your jealousy stems from being cheated on in the past. But, if you dont curb that jealousy now i promise you it will damage the relationship.

You said yourself you trust her 110% that she would not cheat on you, so, you gotta let go of this anxiety.

You need to exercise a little faith here. I also think you need to work on your self esteem. If you were very confident and happy in yourself you would not be worrying about her cheating on you.

[realfriends]

Jealousy comes from insecurity.

 

This can be either insecurity with your relationship or insecurity from yourself.

 

I suspect that it everything to deal with the fact that you have been cheated on before.

 

I never was the jealous type in my first relationship but now that I was cheated on, I know I will be jealous due from the fact that I'm insecure within.

 

Its not necessarily a good thing, but its seems to be something that people put up to try to defend themselves from ever letting something like that happen again.