AndrewJ Posted January 10, 2005 Share Posted January 10, 2005 Hello All, I joined this forum cause I am suffereing badly over a lady I met 4 months ago. I feel for this lady like nothing else. We saw each other for a week at the start of this 4 month period then she told me she was seeing something else. I was distraught. Then I saw her out in a club on new years. And I sent her flowers the next day. Still no response from the lady so I wrote a letter saying how much enjoyed her company that new years night. I gave her a movie voucher with my phone number in the letter. Last saturday night I went out with her and her freinds and she seemed to be all over me then started getting all over my freind. I left cause i was hurt. I rang my freind to find out that he slpet with her that night. Did I just get played? Is this lady the Devil? Does she even have a heart? Link to post Share on other sites
Barby Posted January 10, 2005 Share Posted January 10, 2005 Sweety, she's obviously a WH*RE I don't care if I get flamed for this, clearly she started out dating you, then went out with you again, then went home and F*CKED your friend? That to me = WH*RE!!!!! So count your lucky stars that all you did was waste a tad bit of money, move on and be glad she didn't stick your butt with some sick STD or AIDS or something! Leave her alone with your dignity in tact and move on and find someone who wouldn't dream of doing this to you. You deserve better! Next time be a bit more descreet about who you choose to go out with, her telling you she was seeing someone else is a bit of a red flag! Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted January 10, 2005 Share Posted January 10, 2005 Originally posted by AndrewJ 1. Did I just get played? 2. Is this lady the Devil? 3. Does she even have a heart? 1. yes, you did - big time 2. As far as you are concerned, yes - she may turn out to be another man's Angel, but you are not that man 3. Yes, unfortunately, she chose not to give it to you It sucks, I know - particularly when your only 'mistake' was being a decent guy who cared about her. Best you can do is just walk away and remove yourself from any unnecessary interaction with her from here on out. Cut her off, and do not let her back in to further take advantage of you. Link to post Share on other sites
Pocky Posted January 10, 2005 Share Posted January 10, 2005 We saw each other for a week at the start of this 4 month period then she told me she was seeing something else. I was distraught. While you may have dated her for a week, she made sure to let you know that she was dating other people. Considering she was up front with you in the beginning of the relationship and you had only seen her for a week, I'm not sure why you would have been distraught. Then I saw her out in a club on new years. And I sent her flowers the next day. Still no response from the lady so I wrote a letter saying how much enjoyed her company that new years night. I gave her a movie voucher with my phone number in the letter. I'm assuming you happened to be at the same club as she was on New Year's Eve since you didn't state that you took her to the club. You merely saw her there and then decided to send her flowers. It was a nice gesture, but maybe she's not interested in you. I haven't seen anything so far that gives the impression she is. Last saturday night I went out with her and her freinds and she seemed to be all over me then started getting all over my freind. I left cause i was hurt. I rang my freind to find out that he slpet with her that night. You went out with her and her friends and your friend? Who invited? Did she invite you? Or did the friend invite you? Did I just get played? Is this lady the Devil? Does she even have a heart? Not sure how she played you. Unless you're leaving something out it appears to me that you met this woman, decided you liked her a lot, she decided she wasn't that interested and advised you she was dating other people. You saw her at a club, sent her some flowers, hung out with her and some friends and now suddenly think she's the devil because she slept with your friend instead of you. Maybe your expectations were more than what they should have been? Link to post Share on other sites
Author AndrewJ Posted January 10, 2005 Author Share Posted January 10, 2005 You are probably right, Im all new to this relationship thing. But the The New years night I spent with her and had a great night holdin hands and lyin on a bed. But it really hurt to hear that after knowing how i felt about her she took my freind home. Made me see that she probably is evil? Time to forget her but she made a big impression on my foolish mind. Link to post Share on other sites
Pocky Posted January 10, 2005 Share Posted January 10, 2005 But it really hurt to hear that after knowing how i felt about her she took my freind home. Made me see that she probably is evil? While I would agree that it was a little inconsiderate that she went home with your friend when she knew you were interested in her, I wouldn't necessarily say she's evil. Evil is a strong word. Child molesters are evil. Rapists are evil. A woman that doesn't return your interest and sleeps with your friend isn't evil. I think regardless of the situation people should be considerate and respectful of others and it appears that she didn't take your feelings into consideration. However, she was not obligated to you whatsoever and had the right to go home with whomever she wanted to. Not everyone is going to be as inconsiderate, but I would suggest you discontinue your interest in someone when they make it clear that they're not interested in you. At the very least this will protect you from getting hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AndrewJ Posted January 11, 2005 Author Share Posted January 11, 2005 Words of wisdom, She never told me how she felt, I spose that is why I was hurt cause I was holding on to false hope. I do still think of her which is foolish. Any suggestions on how to erase these foolish thoughts? And your quote says it all about not wasteing energy on the wrong one! But this is the first time in my life I have experienced such pain, Quite unbeivable My nights are filled with manic dreams Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted January 11, 2005 Share Posted January 11, 2005 IMO, your "Friend" is far worse than this beeotch. While I can agree that this girl didn't "Owe" you anything.. she had made it clear (from what you've said) that she was going to date, see, uh.. she may have left out screw other people.. It was still unset for her to be up on you, then your "Friend" just shows (again IMO) bad judgement, lack of class and good taste on her part for certain... but for real... WTF is up with your "Friend"? My advice... be more selective in your choices of women.. AND Friends. Good Luck, I really do hope you feel better. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted January 11, 2005 Share Posted January 11, 2005 Everybody plays the fool sometime There's no exception to the rule Listen, baby, it may be factual, may be cruel I ain't lyin', everybody plays the fool Falling in love is such an easy thing to do And there's no guarantee that the one you love Is gonna love you That's the way the cookie crumbles. She tested the waters, and didn't like your PH balance. It happens. What do you do now? Shrug it off, and look to the future. Of course if your friend was aware how much you liked her you may have some disrespect issues to address. It is entirely apparent your affections were misplaced-which is the danger you run when you try to start things off as "friends" You'll feel better soon. Link to post Share on other sites
crisp Posted January 11, 2005 Share Posted January 11, 2005 What's your age? I dare say you're young is not very young. I know no man in his early 20's to turn down an easy lay over one of his friend's fling. Sorry, that's real life. If you like leftovers, continue to think about her. You seem like a nice person, find yourself a nice girl. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AndrewJ Posted January 11, 2005 Author Share Posted January 11, 2005 I have gathered from ur advice peoples that. I ned to apply this No contact thing however that will be hard as my freind is now seeing this lady that i felt for so much. Is being intense a bad thing? Should I go into recluse Cause my freinds have are abig group and i would find it hard to go to any socail occaision and feel like a fool cause thats how the cookie crumbled. And why if this lady said she was my freind why would she not reply to me? Ill stop my wingin i know its borin you guys to tears I need a frontal lobe labotomy Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted January 11, 2005 Share Posted January 11, 2005 It HAPPENS-she's not a bad person. And neither is your friend. Tactless, perhaps but not evil. What do you do? SHRUG IT OFF. Being petulant, reclusive or emotional is going to make you look foolish-these are the times you swallow your pride and put a smile on for all to see that it doesn't bother you. Of course privately your level of trust has been damaged-but that's for you to know and them to find out. You will only feel foolish if you allow yourself to do so. This "lady" said she was your "friend" because she may at one point have found you dating material-but has since found someone else that suits her better...there was no strong level of commitment. Let it go. Link to post Share on other sites
daphne Posted January 15, 2005 Share Posted January 15, 2005 pocky's a smart cookie. i like pocky post. sorry. your personna is contagious. Link to post Share on other sites
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