dating

[caraffe]

Hi, I just started dating this girl, she's 24 and I'm a few years older. I haven't dated for a while so I need advice.

 

We kissed a bit last night (3rd date), but she seemed to shy away after a while, but she kissed me goodbye and we planned another date.

 

What I want to know is, will that have hurt my chances with her?, should I just brush it off and back off a little?. Can her feelings improve if I just take it easy?..she has a bit of a history with men, so I guess I jumped the gun..its wierd that someone who would jump into bed with men quickly has issues with kissing....or is it just me...

 

HELP, I really like her..

[Paulie]

"should I just brush it off and back off a little?"

 

YESSS!!!

 

"HELP, I really like her"

 

Dont take this thing soo seriously. It's only the third date. She may very well like you too, but don't feel pressure so much to make it advance. Go with it, but don't try to force it.

 

You're over-analyzing. I would BACK OFF. Not because I think she's giving you bad signals, but because she will start to if you start to freak her out.

 

Just go out with her the next time and have a nice time with her. Don't get caught up in worrying about what she has or has not done with you, physically. You never know what other people are thinking. Yeah, she could not be attracted to you, yet, or maybe she really likes you, and wants to wait so it is special, or maybe she's on the rag, or a whole host of other reasons.

 

Stop being so serious about this and just have fun with this girl, and you'll play your cards just right.

 

Paulie

[Tony T]

By shying away, I assume you meant she decided to stop. Well, you have to stop sometime. A smart woman (she's 24 and not a girl anymore) knows that to keep a man interested, she has to make him want more. What better way than to call the kissing to a halt at just the right time.

 

If you have set up another date with her, you obviously haven't messed up your chances with her. You ask if her feelings can improve if you just take it easy? You assume she has feelings of anykind right now. I think to continue to see you she either has some interest in you or a very blank social calendar. But it takes more than three dates to develop a meaningful level of feelings for someone. Just be patient and stop worrying. You're doing just fine.

 

Also, ladies who are used to guys just climbing all over them sexually become vitally interested in men who take their time that way. It sort of drives their curiosity. Once in a while, they even wonder what the hell is going on, you know, "why isn't this guy going for it like all the others." So they will hang around longer to see just what the story is. Or they may be very impressed that someone is interested in them for more than just a roll in the hay.

 

YOU WRITE: "she has a bit of a history with men, so I guess I jumped the gun..its wierd that someone who would jump into bed with men quickly has issues with kissing....or is it just me..."

 

How the hell do you know what her history is with men? Are you her historian? If this lady told you she likes to jump into bed with men quickly in the first three dates, she has as slight problem with herdulla oblongata. Now if you have just heard this on the street, you can't believe all that stuff you hear and you shouln't. Shame on you.

 

If she actually said this too you, hell yes she has some issues with kissing. When she's had enough smacking the lips, she wants you to yank her clothes off and get to business.

 

You may have a real atomic bomb on your hands here. Use your good judgement. If she has told you she usually moves quickly, she has tossed you a great big notebook of military intelligence. Otherwise, you just have to move at a normal rate that's comfortable with you.

 

Now, I will tell you. There are lots of ladies who enjoy sport sex with guys...but when they meet a guy they feel they could love long term, they give him more of a hard time (no pun intended). I mean, they don't just jump in the sack with him right off the bat. So this could be an excellent sign this girl really likes you a lot.

 

Isn't love the damndest thing you've ever gotten yourself involved with???

[sparkle]

Hi,

 

Don't worry about her shying away after kissing you. There have been many times when a guy started kissing me and even though I might have enjoyed it, I pulled away for a variety of reasons: I didn't want to seem 'easy' or I didn't want things to move too fast, or I wanted to remain a challenge, or I was just tired that day, it could've been anything.

 

And most likely if you were able to kiss her for more than a couple seconds and she kissed you back, then she wanted to do it. Also, she kissed you goodbye and planned another date, so I really doubt that you ruined any chances with her.

 

And she could've slept with thousands of men for all I know but that doesn't mean that she should be able to kiss you as easily. Every situation is different.

 

Next time you're with her, a good idea would be to give her a passionate but very short kiss, and be the first to stop. One guy I knew was very good at doing this. I didn't even want to kiss him, but he grabbed me, gave me this wonderful kiss but it was so short and I expected it to be longer, but he stopped, and it totally made me want to grab him and continue. He later revealed that the reason he did this was to leave me begging for more, and it had worked. And let her initiate it first after that.

 

You just started dating her and you like her, so some suggestions: take things slow, if she realizes that you're not only after one thing, she'll like you and respect you more. Since this relationship is fairly new, focus more on the conversation and "getting to know you" stage, and move slowly with the physical stuff.

 

Good luck!

[WGirl]

It sounds to me like things may be moving too fast for

 

her. That could be why she shied away. How do you know she has just jumped into bed with men? Did she tell you that? Did you hear it from other people? Maybe she made mistakes in the past by moving too quickly and has realized it and doesn't want to do it again. Usually

 

one thing leads to another

Hi, I just started dating this girl, she's 24 and I'm a few years older. I haven't dated for a while so I need advice. We kissed a bit last night (3rd date), but she seemed to shy away after a while, but she kissed me goodbye and we planned another date.

 

What I want to know is, will that have hurt my chances with her?, should I just brush it off and back off a little?. Can her feelings improve if I just take it easy?..she has a bit of a history with men, so I guess I jumped the gun..its wierd that someone who would jump into bed with men quickly has issues with kissing....or is it just me... HELP, I really like her..