Author acapelo_dp Posted January 14, 2014 Author Share Posted January 14, 2014 Yeah, basically he told me that since it was early at night only 7pm it didn't cross his mind. And I take the bus home from work and get home at 11:30 at night as well and be said that doesn't really worry him either. However, he said if I was going out downtown for a night out and it was 2am that would be a different story. But it's just an act of caring to me. He said "please don't say it's not because I care because Ido. I just don't worry about that at those times." However when I first moved here he met me at the airport saying he didn't feel safe not meeting me there, and made a comment about my work and said that he feels a bit uneasy with me working there since I am working wih people in the criminal system. It almost feels like he put on an act for me. He made himself out to be a very sexual person, communicative (for the lost part- he still didn't enjoy texting but did it to get to know me) and made himself out to be very concerned about safety. He still is caring and affectionate but in different ways. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 Yeah, basically he told me that since it was early at night only 7pm it didn't cross his mind. And I take the bus home from work and get home at 11:30 at night as well and be said that doesn't really worry him either. However, he said if I was going out downtown for a night out and it was 2am that would be a different story. But it's just an act of caring to me. He said "please don't say it's not because I care because Ido. I just don't worry about that at those times." However when I first moved here he met me at the airport saying he didn't feel safe not meeting me there, and made a comment about my work and said that he feels a bit uneasy with me working there since I am working wih people in the criminal system. It almost feels like he put on an act for me. He made himself out to be a very sexual person, communicative (for the lost part- he still didn't enjoy texting but did it to get to know me) and made himself out to be very concerned about safety. He still is caring and affectionate but in different ways. It sounds like you're just not as compatible as you thought you were. Link to post Share on other sites
angelcake Posted January 16, 2014 Share Posted January 16, 2014 I would have broken up with him over the Sarah incident. It's completely inexcusable. He would have to be the one begging for attention and to come back and he would have to prove himself every step of the way. He sounds very insensitive at best. Don't settle for what he's giving you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author acapelo_dp Posted January 16, 2014 Author Share Posted January 16, 2014 (edited) Well just as an update, I took three days without contact with him to think about everything and my decision. He came over and we talked in person. He was sincerely sorry, and I explained my hurt and disappointment over the situation. I told him he needs to tell me when something bothers him, and he needs to communicate his frustrations more. he agreed. He said that when I got to the bar and was angry about the situation, he said he definitely understood why I was upset but said I made it a bigger issue by coming to the bar angry and being short with him. I agreed with this and said next time I will bring it up more calmly. I told him despite that he cannot treat me this way again or talk to me again in this way, or I said I will leave him. I told him I am not the only girl in his life but I should be the most important, and should always feel this way. I told him because of what happened I am no longer comfortable with Sarah, but for the future with new female friends we can BOTH be included and all be friends. He seemed sincerely sorry and said it will not happen again. He knows what will happen if it does. We then had a really good night together. Went to dinner and spent the night together. He was very sweet and affectionate. So, we will go from here but I will definitely not be putting up with another episode like this in the future. He knows this is clear. For right now, all is well. Thank you everyone for all the input and advice, it was really helpful. Edited January 16, 2014 by acapelo_dp Link to post Share on other sites
JanuaryFrost Posted January 28, 2014 Share Posted January 28, 2014 He sounds like an ass and you deserve better. You're not overreacting by the fact that he is your boyfriend, he should've met you outside and talked to YOU, not some bitch that just came into town. Do you think you moving out of his apartment made him upset? Made him think you two were growing apart and that's why he's taken on 'meeting new people'? Just a guess but maybe he felt like you wanted out of the relationship since you moved out due to have your own independence. Link to post Share on other sites
kiss_andmakeup Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 He's a jack-off. You could do so much better. I don't understand why women put up with stupid sh*t like this. :-/ Link to post Share on other sites
Author acapelo_dp Posted January 30, 2014 Author Share Posted January 30, 2014 He's a jack-off. You could do so much better. I don't understand why women put up with stupid sh*t like this. :-/ Well, he was definitely a jack ass that night. I made it completely clear to him that I would leave him if he displayed that behavior again. We have been doing very well since. He has since been the perfect gentleman and has been loving and considerate of my feelings. So, I will not put up with it again and he knows. Link to post Share on other sites
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