How to break it off?

[Lizrd3000]

Hello everyone.

 

I'm stuck in a bad situation, let me mention that I'm borderline, so I need your input.. please!

 

I'm in a toxic relationship. let me try to explain.

 

Me and my girlfriend have been together for 9 months now, with one breakup inbetween of 2 months initiated by her, her reason being was I wasn't dominant enough. even though she started seeing this guy from her class right after we broke off, to only find out he wasnt all that after two weeks.

 

Anyways, the relationship is me giving alot emotionally, and her not so much.

I feel as if she doesn't care a whole lot for the relationship.

just today, when we were at my house with me her and a friend of hers, she mentioned my decision to join the army and said it was a stupid idea, and after 5 minutes of discussing her saying that it doesn't matter, because we'll be broken up anyways when I'm finally in the army in 3 years.

 

Also, I have the feeling I'm a guy she stays with untill something better comes along.

 

I had my BPD under control pretty good untill today and our argument and her dropping that ridiculous sentence. Now all the doubts have creeped up on me again, and I'm thinking about breaking it off, because obviously she doesn't have any hope for us to be together for a long time, which is what I NEED. I need some reassurance, not another doubt. She knows what my insecurities are, so for her saying something like this is ridiculous.

 

Sorry if I keep on rambling.. but I need some advice.

 

I want to break it off, or I want her to realize how much she hurt me.

Bad thing of breaking it off is, I know I'll sink into a deep depression when we're apart. like a really deep depression, contemplating suicide and all that.

 

Also, I can't tell her how much she hurt me, because than I'm not dominant enough and I'm insecure, so she'll dump me, which will be even worse..

 

Please help me out, I know I sound like a stupid little kid, but I AM a little kid inside. a little kid with scary panic attacks 24/7 and depression and numbness when I don't have panic attacks.

 

EDIT: all that meanwhile her telling me that I'm the reason she's alive.. yeah right. I don't know.

[AnyaNova]

Hello everyone.

 

I'm stuck in a bad situation, let me mention that I'm borderline, so I need your input.. please!

 

I'm in a toxic relationship. let me try to explain.

 

Me and my girlfriend have been together for 9 months now, with one breakup inbetween of 2 months initiated by her, her reason being was I wasn't dominant enough. even though she started seeing this guy from her class right after we broke off, to only find out he wasnt all that after two weeks.

 

Anyways, the relationship is me giving alot emotionally, and her not so much.

I feel as if she doesn't care a whole lot for the relationship.

just today, when we were at my house with me her and a friend of hers, she mentioned my decision to join the army and said it was a stupid idea, and after 5 minutes of discussing her saying that it doesn't matter, because we'll be broken up anyways when I'm finally in the army in 3 years.

 

Also, I have the feeling I'm a guy she stays with untill something better comes along.

 

I had my BPD under control pretty good untill today and our argument and her dropping that ridiculous sentence. Now all the doubts have creeped up on me again, and I'm thinking about breaking it off, because obviously she doesn't have any hope for us to be together for a long time, which is what I NEED. I need some reassurance, not another doubt. She knows what my insecurities are, so for her saying something like this is ridiculous.

 

Sorry if I keep on rambling.. but I need some advice.

 

I want to break it off, or I want her to realize how much she hurt me.

Bad thing of breaking it off is, I know I'll sink into a deep depression when we're apart. like a really deep depression, contemplating suicide and all that.

 

Also, I can't tell her how much she hurt me, because than I'm not dominant enough and I'm insecure, so she'll dump me, which will be even worse..

 

Please help me out, I know I sound like a stupid little kid, but I AM a little kid inside. a little kid with scary panic attacks 24/7 and depression and numbness when I don't have panic attacks.

 

EDIT: all that meanwhile her telling me that I'm the reason she's alive.. yeah right. I don't know.

 

I'm so sorry.

 

Before you do, talk with your therapist to create an action plan for how you will deal with the fallout.

 

I think you have to. Imagine how you feel if you don't and then she breaks it up like she said.

 

On the one hand, I know how difficult relationships with people with BPD can be. On the other, I don't think she could have said more things to trigger you. Does she know about it and has she researched it enough to know how deliberately cruel she was being?

 

If so, you need to take your damaged and recovering self and find someone who won't treat you like this!

[lilianalee]

I'm sorry you feel this way. I honestly feel you should break things off with her. I know you said you would slip into this deep depression, let me tell you it will pass you just need to focus on yourself. Talk to a therapist if you need to. You don't deserve someone who talks to you like that and is not supportive. If you break it off with her tell her how you feel and just leave. Surround yourself with people who care about you and eventually, you will find someone who will go above and beyond in loving you for who you are and what you do. Keep your head up and be strong.