Not returning phone calls

[7on]

Maybe I'm reading a bit too much into this but here's the deal.

 

This girl I've met, became friends with, and then started to fall for told me to call her over break on that Friday before she left. Monday she IMs me asking why I didn't call when I was up in St. Lou. I call her tuesday, we talk a bit - but she was going out with some friends and had to leave. Then the next time I called it was one of her friend's 21st birthday so they were going out again. Both calls ended with her telling me that she missed me. So a couple of days later I called, no return - was an accidental call though as my phone was kinda messing up. I called @ 12:03 on New Years and said Happy New Year, she told me Happy New Year but she had to go because she was hosting the party. Then we exchanged a few words on AIM a few days later, but she was watching "Raising Helen" and had to go. She said in one of the IMs that she wanted to send me pictures with her new camera but she didn't know how. I tried to help, but I'm not too well off with things like that. Anyway, sent her two casual emails - one a few days after that IM asking about the pictures (casually of course) and then another one with a few links I found on collegehumor (the Napoleon Dynamite prop and a few others). Both casual of course, nothing I wouldn't send other friends. However I called her this morning and haven't gotten a call.

 

I might just be reading into it too much. She could be busy. Spending time with her old HS friends and stuff. She did go and interview for an advertising agency - which told her to create a portfolio this next semester, so she was pretty stressed about that.

 

Damn me and my hormones...

[SoleMate]

I would try to avoid falling for her, since she doesn't seem to have a lot of time for you right now. After the second or third contact without a reply, I would be tempted to slow WAY down in my communication. Otherwise, you not only LOOK desperate, you may start to feel desperate.

[7on]

yeah... "do not fall for her" sounds easy, but it's hard. really hard. We will see each other all the time, esp. since we'll be working together on campus and she'll be in the same majors classes with I.

 

I do have a lot of time, but it's pacing myself is the tricky part.

 

And I like talking to her. But yeah, I tried laying off. I even did not open AIM for a few days. Then I realized that was stupid as how would someone contact me if I needed to be contacted. I was doing well, until I ran across those links that I knew she'd love to see.

 

I'm not really a "desperate" guy. I have woman flirting with me lots, it's just that I never chose to date. And this girl, well seems to be the one. Sometimes I wished I would have dated, then I would know what to do and how to act.

 

I just want her to see me how I see her.

 

What really messed me up was how she said she'd like to cuddle sometime. Everything that she says makes me want to be with her even more. Definitely a learning experience if it doesn't work out. Which I always say to myself. And we were pretty good friends to begin with so I'd be comfortable asking about stuff so I can prepare for the next female. I just hope it won't come to that.

 

EDIT: Oh yeah, and I feel a larger desire to talk to her since her parents are divorced and mine maybe heading in that direction. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?postid=383128

[fundamental]

You are reading too much into this. I know it's hard not to fall for someone but if you continue at your rate, you will begin to over-analyze everything she says or does and it will drive you insane. In the end, it's up to you. But don't get caught up too soon...if you act like a woman in this situation, you will not get the woman in the end. Remember, let her come to you. Go out and enjoy yourself. If she likes you, then she will call you and you will know how she feels...and you won't be wondering every 5 minutes.

[7on]

Yeah, You guys are probably right. Though I will call Saturday when driving through St. Louis. Or is that not a good idea? More of a "joke" since I spent a day in St. Louis and there was an IM waiting for me at home asking why I didn't call. I'll probably say something like "Hey, going through St. Louis, just thought I'd let you know" if I get her voicemail. Or would that not be a good idea? More comical sounding than caring sounding though.

 

But I'm trying to be a nicer person... oh well. I don't know if she's attracted to my a**h*** side or what. Hmmm quite a ponder-um.

 

You know what better if I don't call Sat.

 

It's just been this and my dad cheating on my mom that's made me all weird. And add to that I got depressed since practically none of my HS friends do anything together, so noone to hang out with. Just my emotions have been weird lately.

[7on]

All in all I think this break from her and school has been beneficial. I think I've finally been able to stop obsessing over her. I still have the same feelings towards her, I just learned how to control them. Which I think is good, though I know now I need a woman so if this thing doesn't work out I'm going to start looking.

 

So wish me luck ;P

[fundamental]

G luck

[SuperFantastico]

She sounds like shes just buisy. Belive me, ive been there. I get all worked up,

then i actually talk to the girls and they were actually just buisy.

 

Do some stuff with your friends and next time you call her, tell her 'hey

i know you are buisy, but i miss you and havnt been able to talk to you at

all. '

 

Dont sound pissed off or anything. Just state it matter of factly.

[7on]

Yeah, so I'm back at campus and so is she. We couldn't hang out last night because a friend of hers that studied abroad last semester came back and she had a girl's night out. Well, she did go on and on about getting candles and a new bed - plus she mentioned spooning - so that got me all worked up. Problem is that she ran into her ex last night and now they're eating lunch. I'm not too worried because she did tell me a while ago that she was still friends with her exes, it's just that I called her last night and she said she ran into him and it was a little awkward. I still want wants best for her and for her to be happy, I'm just aware that she may not choose me when it's all said and done. Pity though because I did buy a rose yesterday that's sitting in my refrigerator.

 

It's not that I'm jealous or anything, because I know she has a social life. It's just hard for me and I thought I'd just share it all with you. She does things with my emotions that I have a hard time controlling - and I'm usually pretty good at hiding my emotions.

 

I just want her to be happy - but secretly I want to be happy too.

[SuperFantastico]

Ok first of all dont give up before you know if shes into you or not. You are still in

there man. She is just one of those people that has lots of friends and makes

time for everyone. It can get a bit frustrating(ok alot ) I like a girl once, who

was like that. Always with some friend, or doing some activity. Felt like i had

to get a lasso to get her attention for a moment.

 

Oh, it can also be a good omen that she still is friends with her ex's. Might mean

that they all brokeup on good terms. So she could be a pretty cool chick.

 

Um....i read your post but forgot stuff.....and am too lazy to re-read it. Did she ever

say she likes you? Or did you ever say you liked her. Or did you ever say.......hey

woman do my dishes(ok for the record only some women like that.... j/k)

 

I mean did you ever ask her out on a date....oh wait its coming back to me.

 

Oh i just re-read. Ok you are gonna get stuck in the friend zone in a few more

months. So for the love of god just ask her out already. Dont confess your love.

That only freaks them out and they give you the whole 'i just want to be friends'

line. Then you are screwed. So say something like. I really like spending

time with you, what would you say to me picking you up friday at 8 and

taking you out.

 

Best to have a date with some plan to it. Not ya thought we'd wander around maybe do some stuff. Women like to see guys take control a bit. And this

way isnt too threatening. She'll get that you like her and that this will be a

date.

 

.....er.....before you do this, i would get some advice from some women. As i

kinda tend to suck sometimes with these things. Sounds good to me though

 

[7on]

Yeah, i asked her out "sorta" but as I was typing she put up an away message. And she never got around to answering me. I will see her in class tomorrow so tomorrow may be a good time.

 

I never said that I loved her, but I did say I had a crush on her my freshman year like back early Dec. I have crushes on about every girl I meet so I thought nothing of it - though maybe she has.

 

In fact I thought we were just friends until she started talking about sex in general (not with anyone in particular). And mentioning loving spooning. That what did me in.

[SuperFantastico]

You should ask her out in person. If she avoids you then, i'd just back off for a while

and go on with university. There are TONS of hot chicks in university.....god

i envy you

 

She could just be a tease and love the attention. The talking about sex thing

is a 50/50 chance of good and bad. Could mean she likes you, could mean that

shes 'comfortable' with you ie: pull out the fork and put it in your eyes. Then

eat some crazy pills

[7on]

Yeah, I'm at the point where I don't ****ing care and would rather know one way or the other and get on with my life. I mainly just wanted to wait until I had a car which I do now. On the AIM I just asked if she ever wanted to go and get some food sometime that'd be great in more or less word. So yeah, we're the same major and I'll see her everyother day guaranteed unless she skips. She did say "I don't know you romantically" when I did jump the gun and suggest we be a couple or something. I guess that's the way it sounded because we started talking about how alone we were and ****.

 

Yeah, so we both have VisComI @ 10:30 tomorrow. And just knowing would be sweet sweet bliss.

 

I'll probably ask her and if it comes out why I didn't sooner (I suspect she probably has been waiting as the hints are starting to surface through reading AIM convos) I'll just mention about I didn't have a vehicle and I thought it wouldn't be appropriate not being able to take her "out."

 

I'm such a goob, I'm probably coming off as desperate. Which I definitely am not. I'm just trying to control an emotion I've never really been able to control. I usually can keep my **** together, but haven't been in love too often enough to know about it and control it. Maybe one other time. But that girl ditched me at prom as soon as we entered the door. She asked me too, turned out she used me to get to prom and hang with her senior she had a crush on.

 

I guess I tend to fall in love with girls that show their interest in me first. I must like the attention or something.

[7on]

Oh well I asked her out and she said she was kinda already dating someone. That's what I get I procrastinate. I'm ok because I know everything happens for a reason - I was just hoping that the only reason I met her wasn't so I'd find new music. Which apparently it was.

 

I suppose knowing is better than being uncertain.

[7on]

Well, now I'm crying a bit... just tore up a rose I bought Sunday for her that I never got the chance to give her. It'll be hard but I'm sure I can manage. I'm just too picky with girls is my problem. It never really was because I was afraid of rejection. Because I took the rejection fine.

 

She came online as I was typing this and I wrote :

3:40:49 thejonshipman:

yoyo yo

 

3:41:43 thejonshipman:

Just wanted to make sure that you're not mad at me for asking you out... I hope we can still be good friends

 

3:41:56 thejonshipman:

:-P

 

3:43:04 thejonshipman:

You kids have fun tonight!

 

She didn't reply... I hope we can still be friends, because we were friends once. At least I hope we were friends and she just wasn't playing me because she lacked a bf. Because I had soooo much fun with her. I didn't even consider her "dating" or "gf" material until the 5th night of hanging out with her. When she started talking about sex and spooning and such.

 

It could be that she's ignoring me because she is attracted to me... but she had already been asked out and doesn't want to ruin it. I doubt it could be because she hates me. Because she'd tell me that she hates me, I've seen her tell people that she hates them. Oh well... I just suck at timing and the whole relationship things.

 

I believe everything happens for a reason, maybe I'm meant to date one of her friends or something? I hope it's just not for the personal reflection of myself and good tunes she showed me.

[7on]

10:29:04 thejonshipman:

word

 

10:29:12 her:

What?

 

10:29:21 thejonshipman:

haha, nothing

 

10:29:27 thejonshipman:

you doing a'ight?

 

10:29:35 her:

dude i need some space alright

 

10:29:41 thejonshipman:

ok

 

10:29:48 thejonshipman:

just needed to hear it from you

 

10:29:53 her:

OK

 

So friendship is out of the question. Girls come and go, but loosing friends is something I have always had a problem with. I'm sure this won't get me depressed, but I lost 3 of my best friends in Jr. High and that put me in a deep depression that lasted 3-4 years - from a small school so friends were hard to come by. This is Terrible, esp. after the winter depression, finding out my dad is a cheat, and now this. I want to say I wished I told her no when she asked me to hang out, but that would be a lie. Because she helped me grow as a person - and I know that.

[SuperFantastico]

Well its not your fault for not being fast enough. She might have had someone already. I say just leave

it alone. Being friends with someone you like is a big pain. If you do get close to her again, you will just

be horribly punished by getting to hear about how much a jerk this guy is ect.

 

So i say move on man. Dont be friends. She is being a retard about you trying to talk, so let her

do her own thing, and partake in the cornacopia of babes in university

[SuperFantastico]

Helpign you grow as a person is great, but at the same time you are the one who had to grow. You dont owe

her anything by this. She had to just be herself, you had to grow and take the pain. It sucks losing friends

but that dosnt mean you cant meet a whole crap load more in university. I met lots of people in university(i didnt

even go my friend did, and i lived with him )

 

You will be ok. lots more cool hot chicks around.

[7on]

Just an update.

 

We are talking again. She stated talking to me on thursday when she missed class due to a hangover and I sent her my notes.

 

In other news, I was heartbroken so Wednesday I went into the lounge sat with a bunch of girls whom I barely knew and asked if they wanted to drink some alcohol. Well, later that night I made out with one of the girls. Then the following Friday went to a party and her two friends ended up with other guys and she ended up with me. And I spent the night with her. Man, I had such a good time - the problem is now that the first girl is talking to me again I don't know if I should wait for her, or try something with this new girl. The first girl I do find to be more compatible with and I do find her more attractive, but if she doesn't see me as a possibility at all then I might as well try with the new girl. I don't want to try with the new girl if the old girl was just playing hard to get or something and actually going out with the new girl might ruin any chance of me getting with the old girl. It's conundrum I know. I just find myself falling for this new girl more everyday. I know her and her friends are trying to get us together - because it's pretty obvious in the little things they do.

 

craziness

[lovelylady]

Go for the new girl.

 

i read a bunch of your posts lastnight and i think the old girl is simply not worth your time. you may like her, but she wasn't treating you the way someone who cares for you should treat you. if you like this new girl, give her a chance and see what develops. don't pass up what could potentially be a very good thing. you've made the effort with the old girl. she wasn't cool to you - period. Move on. you deserve to be with someone who is going to treat you the way you want to be treated. don't continue giving your energy to someone who is only going to continue taking it without giving back what you need. we all love attention. chances are, if you start to back away from the old girl, she will feel that you are disappearing and will try to remain in contact with you - and most likely it will be for selfish reasons - because your affection/attention is something that makes her feel good. she will miss the ego boost that comes from being liked by you - and she's a girl who knows that she can keep getting that ego boost from you even if she suddenly decides to behave badly by treating you inconsiderately.

 

don't continue to put yourself in this situation. it's really not fair to you and c'mon, deep down you have to know that it's not what you want - nobody wants to be taken for granted and not appreciated. you have a good heart and hopefully this new girl will do a better job than the last girl, of recognizing that.

[Blazintrav]

I've had these problems before. You will never forgive yourself if you don't go out with this girl.

[Bronzepen]

Nothing wrong with juggling both.

 

You haven't signed a contract.

 

Date both for a little while then figure out who out of the two you want to get serious with.

 

Who knows, maybe the new girl will be more to your liking or maybe not. You won't know till you date her for a little bit.

[7on]

So I asked her if she was "involved with someone or seeing someone currently?" and she said she was so yeah. So much for that. I just suck at reading women and if they have a bf or not. Now I feel really bad for her cheating on this other guy. I am saddened.

[SuperFantastico]

ACK screw the first girl. Move on to these ladies you met and drank with. Belive me, they liked you right off

the bat for who you are. You arnt thier 'friend' you are the fun sexy guy they made out with.

 

Dont make me reach through the screen and choke you!!!!

 

heres an equasion for you university types.

 

girl who plays games + you = misery

 

hot party girls + you =

[7on]

NO, the hot party girl has a bf. SHE WAS PLAYING ME!

 

My previous post is about the second girl. And I knew both her friends have BFs just I didn't know about hers. I need more drinking buddies pronto, because I DO NOT want to drink with those girls again. I have this "thing" about making out wit already committed women. It's creepy.

 

And I was over the first girl by Thurs and completely over her by Sat morning - when I woke up next to the party girl. And now, seeing that she did all this and never mentioned the boyfriend makes me feel awful about myself - because I have this "thing" with cheating, something I hope her bf never finds out about.