Should I stop fighting my feelings for him?

[Kelly M]

I have been fighting my feelings for my guy friend. I have liked him since I knew him and I've only known him a year at this point. I feel so happy when i'm around him and I have this deep connection with him, but what makes me stop myself from going any further with him is that he has so much drama that circles him. He has ex issues cause he has a 1 year old child with his ex and he is always at a constant battle with her cause she is really immature, and so is he. they are always trying to get each other back, but I finally convinced him to not do that and to be more mature about his situation. He did change cause he took my advice, but he still has ex issues cause of her, she is still keeping this immature cycle going with him by making false accusations and keeping him in jail.

 

another reason is that i'm a virgin. I was always told to make sure it's the right person. Even though I feel so comfortable with him and I do want to lose my virginity with him, but I am so afraid that I will regret it. I am trying to fight my feelings for him, cause even now as a friend, I can't deal with his erratic behavior and his ex baby mama drama. But for some reason I can't let go and I have such strong feelings for him, cause otherwise I love him for him, and I love to be around him. I keep saying to myself "Don't give in" but I think I am falling in love with him. He keeps trying to date me and he will always flirt with me and such. But I still fight it, cause I am so unsure and I am afraid it would be a regretful decision.

 

What should I do? Should I keep fighting my feelings? Should I just do what I want with him cause I have such a strong connection to him? Should I let things flow? I am so conflicted and I want advice on this. Thank you!

[Heroeric]

It depends, do you feel you can live with dealing with the drama? People with lots of drama tend to carry it around for some time, but there is always a chance for change like you say happened. My advice, wait it out a bit and see if he keeps on getting better with the drama. If so, tell him that you really like him, and wanna be something more, but include that something important to you is not having all the drama. Laying it on him in the beginning is best, and you can go from there.

[givemu1]

Kelly if there is doubt and reasons for not having a clear cut, "YES, I want to be with this man." then you need to do some soul searching for your answer.

 

The "baby mama drama" will continue because they have a child together, and possibly because she is still harboring feelings for him. That's something he needs to deal with on his own. I know you really like him, but risking your sanity and happiness by constantly dealing with his personal issues is not ok. If he was still trying to get back with her, and you swayed his decision for a good reason, that's fine, but don't let yourself become a rescuer because you have feelings for him. Let him work his own "baby mama drama" out.

 

Do not risk regretting the one thing that should be shared with a person whom we love, and who loves us in return. Make certain that he is the one. All of this doubt that you have....No should be your answer to losing your virginity to him. If he's the one, let him fix his personal life before subjecting yourself to a regretful decision. Don't lose your virginity to someone in hopes that it will make him love you. Let him love you first and go from there.

 

You can fight feelings all day long, but they will not go away if you are truly in love. You can suppress them, take your mind off of them for a little while, but they will keep coming back as long as you two are around each other. Tell him how you feel. If he doesn't reciprocate then you have a bigger decision to make on whether to proceed with a friendship with a man you're in love with, letting go and dealing with the grief of not having him in your life, or settling for half-way instead of all of the way. Dating and flirting is totally different than commitment, love, and wanting to spend all of your time with a person. Don't make a temporary decision based on your feelings alone.

 

Much Luck

[Kelly M]

Kelly if there is doubt and reasons for not having a clear cut, "YES, I want to be with this man." then you need to do some soul searching for your answer.

 

The "baby mama drama" will continue because they have a child together, and possibly because she is still harboring feelings for him. That's something he needs to deal with on his own. I know you really like him, but risking your sanity and happiness by constantly dealing with his personal issues is not ok. If he was still trying to get back with her, and you swayed his decision for a good reason, that's fine, but don't let yourself become a rescuer because you have feelings for him. Let him work his own "baby mama drama" out.

 

Do not risk regretting the one thing that should be shared with a person whom we love, and who loves us in return. Make certain that he is the one. All of this doubt that you have....No should be your answer to losing your virginity to him. If he's the one, let him fix his personal life before subjecting yourself to a regretful decision. Don't lose your virginity to someone in hopes that it will make him love you. Let him love you first and go from there.

 

You can fight feelings all day long, but they will not go away if you are truly in love. You can suppress them, take your mind off of them for a little while, but they will keep coming back as long as you two are around each other. Tell him how you feel. If he doesn't reciprocate then you have a bigger decision to make on whether to proceed with a friendship with a man you're in love with, letting go and dealing with the grief of not having him in your life, or settling for half-way instead of all of the way. Dating and flirting is totally different than commitment, love, and wanting to spend all of your time with a person. Don't make a temporary decision based on your feelings alone.

 

Much Luck

 

 

Hi! I understand, but him and his ex are just immature. Like she has a boyfriend, but they are always playing a "get back" game with each other. I convinced him to stop doing that cause it's immature, and to stop feeding her drama, it's not right for his daughter to have both parents ridiculously fighting etc. He did take my advice and he did change, but his ex is still immature and trying anyway to get back at him. He calls me up about everything and I see what's goes on in his everyday life and it prevents me from going any further with him cause his drama is ridiculous. I can't let go though, and I love him for him, but I already know he likes me, cause I rejected him many times, and he flirts with me a lot etc. I am just unsure if I should move forward with him or just keep it a friendship? I tried going out with other guys and they seem to not "cut it" and I always resort back to him cause my connection is strong with him, but I still don't know if it's the right decision or not. I will take your advice though, and I am greatful of your wisdom and advice. Thank you!

[Kelly M]

It depends, do you feel you can live with dealing with the drama? People with lots of drama tend to carry it around for some time, but there is always a chance for change like you say happened. My advice, wait it out a bit and see if he keeps on getting better with the drama. If so, tell him that you really like him, and wanna be something more, but include that something important to you is not having all the drama. Laying it on him in the beginning is best, and you can go from there.

 

 

Thank you! And sorry about the double posting, haha! I don't know how that happened, but I think that's what i'm going to do. I'm gonna wait and see, and hold out, cause his drama is ridiculous and I just can't deal with it right now, but there maybe a time where it will die down. I do have to just wait it out, but thank you for your advice! I appreciate it!