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Wife can do, but i cant [update]


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Jeeze - I would say go out yourself and if she says you don't have that much time together as it is, just say that doesn't bother you on your night out - and then go ahead and go. Problem solved. You both get a night out. You don't need to spend all your time together anyway, that will make you bored out of your mind.

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cozycottagelg

Can you go out on the same night your wife does? Then you both get what you want but you aren't taking away the time you have together, at home.

 

She couldn't really argue with you if she wasn't home when you were out.

 

Just a thought.

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  • 1 month later...
Friskyone4u

The red flag here is that she wants to do this on a regular basis with no responsibility to tell you anything about when she is coming home or where she is going. My guess is when she goes out she is looking her "hottest". Only a matter of time before one of her younger male friends she makes in this crowd or his friends hit on her and she responds.

If this was only an infrequent thing she wanted to do it would be less ominous sounding

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1. Nothing wrong with having friends and hanging out with friends in a marriage. You need adult friendships outside of your spouse.

 

2. You need to talk to your wife about her drinking.

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jimmytwowheels

Simply put, this would not happen to me. Why? I have expectations of my SO.

 

Is it wrong to hang out with younger people? Is it wrong to hang out away from me? Is it wrong to get drunk as hell without me there? Is it wrong to smoke a few joints?

 

I'd say no to all of those questions

 

BUT

 

My SO won't do any of those things because she knows that I have expectations, and that there are things that make me uncomfortable. So out of respect she doesn't do them. And I don't do the things that really bother her either.

 

If I have a casual friend on facebook that messages me a little suggestively, does she have the right to demand I unfriend them?

NO.

Will she?

NO.

Will I unfriend them just to make her happy?

Absolutely.

 

She is worth that sacrifice. If she asked me to stop seeing my parents, that's something else entirely.

 

Bottom line, you are being disrespected. That's all this is.

 

You need to take a stand. Start going out when you want, with your friends alone. Maybe with some women around. See how she feels about it. If you're a little wicked lol, get trashed and stumble around the house when SHE has to work the next day.

 

She needs to understand that respect is a two way street. Asking her politely it seems, will not do it.

 

Be a man. Be a rock wrapped in velvet. Soft but firm.

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She is an adult. She is allowed to go out and do what she wants.

 

You are also an adult. You are also allowed to have friends and go out. It is YOUR choice to let her badger you into not going. You taught her that if she harps on you enough, you'll just not go.

 

So go out and have fun!

 

As far as her drinking, make sure you are protected (help her make a plan that doesn't involve her driving your car, etc.) but let her deal with her own drunkenness and hangover. It's her choice to go party, so it is her responsibility to deal with the aftermath.

 

The more you try to control each other, the unhappier you will both be. You CAN do anything you want to do.

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