Thegreatestthing Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 I get upset etc when a guy won't stay up late to talk to me.i see it as an indication of interest. Normally I never mention it,but tonight I did and he said I will stay up then,but then I felt bad,they have to get up early and so on. But I have to get up at 6am and I stay up past 1am on occasion and I would definately stay up all hours for someone I loved or was really into. if it's just a one off or occasional thing, what is a little tiredness for love? Is this unreasonable/reasonable.
pickflicker Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 I get upset etc when a guy won't stay up late to talk to me.i see it as an indication of interest. Normally I never mention it,but tonight I did and he said I will stay up then,but then I felt bad,they have to get up early and so on. But I have to get up at 6am and I stay up past 1am on occasion and I would definately stay up all hours for someone I loved or was really into. if it's just a one off or occasional thing, what is a little tiredness for love? Is this unreasonable/reasonable. After I've known them for a while and dated and slept with them, sure. After half a dozen messages on an OLD profile? No, that fits in around the rest of my life, not the other way around.
regine_phalange Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 I'm a girl, and I will stay up if some extremely unique, amazing, mindblowing conversation *happens* before I fall asleep (that means, once every 10 years or so ). Not arranged. Most of the time I just want to sleep and talk the next day though. I've slept in the middle of late text messaging sessions not a few times. And I was very interested in those men. I love sleeping. 1
potsticker Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 I think the degree of reasonableness would depend on the person in question. What if the person was the type of person who falls apart the next day if he doesn't get at least 6 hours? In that case, as unromantic as it is, wouldn't it be more of him taking care of himself regardless of his desires? Also, in your example, the guy was willing to stay up once you had expressed your want of it. This sort of sounds like the "I don't get random surprise gifts and I'm wondering if he's only giving gifts on major events because he's expected to" talk I sometimes hear. I didn't word it quite right, but essentially, one person takes something to be a sign of disinterest or waning interest while the other doesn't understand the point of said thing or the honeymoon period is over. Essentially, a misunderstanding caused by differences in communication of feelings.
gaius Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 I think the degree of reasonableness would depend on the person in question. What if the person was the type of person who falls apart the next day if he doesn't get at least 6 hours? In that case, as unromantic as it is, wouldn't it be more of him taking care of himself regardless of his desires? Also, in your example, the guy was willing to stay up once you had expressed your want of it. This sort of sounds like the "I don't get random surprise gifts and I'm wondering if he's only giving gifts on major events because he's expected to" talk I sometimes hear. I didn't word it quite right, but essentially, one person takes something to be a sign of disinterest or waning interest while the other doesn't understand the point of said thing or the honeymoon period is over. Essentially, a misunderstanding caused by differences in communication of feelings. If you have enough testosterone the adrenaline will get you through the day. I had one first date with a girl I was really into after sleeping a grand total of 2 hours in the previous 48 and I was as awake and charming as if I had just downed 10 cups of coffee and gotten plenty of sleep. The only situation I can see a guy who's into you not wanting to stay up is if you're consistently giving him less free time than he wants, but if that's the case then he's not as into you as he used to be.
potsticker Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 The only situation I can see a guy who's into you not wanting to stay up is if you're consistently giving him less free time than he wants, but if that's the case then he's not as into you as he used to be. or maybe the newness of it all worn off and now he wants to go back to routine? aka honeymoon period ish OVA! all jokes aside, if she felt he was REALLY into her at one point, I guess she'd be right to feel a bit miffed now. Also, on the first part, where you talk about testosterone, do you happen to be an extrovert? since yknow, they're supposed to get energy from socializing, while introverts gain energy when not socializing.... I mean sure at first it's easy to stay up simply because of how much blood is pumping through you from the excitement (from the feelings, not socializing), but after awhile it can really take its toll on you
acrosstheuniverse Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 I'd be annoyed if I felt a guy EXPECTED me to stay up way late just to talk to him, unless it was about something really important. Sure, I often do it (I stayed up until 6am talking to someone a few weeks ago) but I quickly realise that the rest of my life isn't worth compromising for the sake of a conversation. I have to be on the ball at work, at placement etc. and refuse to show up to social events with friends in a zoned out, unenthusiastic state just because I hung out online or on the phone with someone all night the day before. It's kinda just being mature and responsible, right? It's fine if it happens naturally but it's not good to expect. 1
somedude81 Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 Will you stay up late to talk to a girl you like? No. Lets just have sex and then go to sleep. We'll talk in the morning. I like my eggs scrambled with some cheese in them. 1
Philosoraptor Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 If there was an emergency, yes. Just to talk? No. If it can wait until morning then it will wait until morning. 3
d0nnivain Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 In the very beginning -- during the honeymoon phase if you will -- real life needs like food shopping, laundry & sleep often fall by the wayside but not always. Some people just need more sleep then others. Also if he has a stressful job for which he needs to be alert: air traffic controller, doctor, fire fighter etc. cut him a break. If everything else about the relationship is good, this one thing shouldn't be a deal breaker.
soccerrprp Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 I'm in a serious relationship with my gf and love her dearly, but I have my bedtime and she has hers. If it's something that one or the either really needs to talk about, sure, we'll make the time for the talk, otherwise, we try to respect eachother's bed times. 4
leftfordead2 Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 I'm a girl and wouldn't stay up to talk to a guy I like. My work needs my full concentration. 1
carhill Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 Will you stay up late to talk to a girl you like? I get upset etc when a guy won't stay up late to talk to me.i see it as an indication of interest. Historically, yeah, IME, I have. The canary came to be, would she 'stay up late' (this means altering her 'schedule') to talk with me (or be there *and* interested) when I desired contact. The last person I was 'there for' in this manner, showing 'interest', turned out to be an alcoholic who had her days and nights reversed. In my age group, overall, looking at all experiences with women, friends and lovers, very few participate in the 'talk all night' or 'up late' type behaviors. Most have jobs, husbands, children/grandchildren, other commitments to tend to and sleep at night. Perhaps it's more of a young person's thing, as I recall doing fine on a couple hours sleep when young and did a lot more of that 'all night' stuff, both in general and with women I was interested in. IMO, as with everything in life, moderation is healthy. Good luck.
soccerrprp Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 Look, like others have said, we have other priorities that require our full, health attention. Like our jobs! But, if it's a weekend or holidays, then sure.
Better Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 Sometimes it is difficult to match schedules too. I work in a sales role but my customers tend to be in the office by 5am and leave by around 2pm. Since I have to drive to the customer sites and they are somewhat far away, it's usual for me to wake up around 3:30am. On the other hand, I'm back at home around 3pm so I am available to meet up/date earlier than most. I wouldn't call my schedule normal but it's only shifted by a couple of hours for most people doing the 9-to-5 thing in a big city where the commute is an issue. I wouldn't be happy with someone that *required* me to talk late into the night because I wouldn't be able to function on a couple of hours of sleep for very long. I also don't think they would want to talk to me that late once I lost my job due to sleep deprivation
Aquanut Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 I would only stay up late into the night if there in person and making productive use of the time with stimulating conversation or certain physical entertainment going on. I don't text way past my bedtime. I just say - hey look. I really like talking with you but it's way past my bedtime and I will be dead tomorrow if I don't get some sleep. Talk to you tomorrow?
somedude81 Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 A long time ago I had dated an 18 year old for a couple of weeks. She wanted to stay on the phone for hours talking about nothing before bed. God I hated that. I never did that again. If I'm tired, and it's not an emergency, I'm going to bed.
Author Thegreatestthing Posted January 16, 2014 Author Posted January 16, 2014 Well we were having deep philosophical conversation and actually I was having the same sort of conversation with another guy at the same time,and there we were talking about these big spiritual issues 12.30am or so and he just says so I'll talk to you later.he is into all of the same things so it wasn't off topic for him. The other guy was happy to cont. talking about all these things. Anyway he must have took it to heart because he stayed up till 2am tonight and is still talking now without me mentioning anything. 1
Emilia Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 Definitely wouldn't stay up for philosophical and spiritual conversations. I have a full time job, I go to the gym or for a run or whatever after, meet friends, go to the movies, etc etc. Then repeat the whole thing again the following day. I need those 8 hours, I would advise the other person who wanted a 2am conversation to take up exercise and perhaps get a hobby.
todreaminblue Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 I think if a conversation is natural and it goes late then fine.....i dont intentionally set out to talk to someone for hours it just happens, to me if a guy is tired and staying up just for the sake of me wishing to talk so they stay up and talk .....takes away the spontaneity and flow of conversation if a guy is struggling to stay awake...i would rather a person be honest and say hey i am tired......can we continue this tomorrow.....i would rather talk to a guy face to face anyway.....much more satisfying....quality time.....i dont think its reasonable to expect a guy to stay up and talk for hours.......unless the conversation is lively and they want to stay up......deb 1
SensitiveTJ Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 I'm in bed by 11 at the latest, I don't care who wants to talk to me. I need sleep to function at my job. 2
newmoon Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 I don't do it or require it from others often, but it can be taken as interest for sure, especially if you're stopping him from doing other, more productive things. Most men have satisfied this if I need a phone convo to go long, but some men (and women) just dislike talking on the phone. a previous bf with a thick accent refused to do anything but text because he was embarrassed of his phone voice, so I guess it's guy-dependent :-) 1
Shepp Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 It depends on the circumstances. You know I was always crazy about my now gf even back when we were kids. Would I of routinely stayed up into the early hours - no Would I stay up if I had a football match the next day - definitely not Was there times when I sat up all night with her talking to her - yes. Did I stay up all night with her when she crashed her car even when I had football the next day - of course I did, to hell with anything else. It just depends. For general chit chat we could of just talked the next day, but she was, still is, the most...riveting person in my life - id of done anything to make her smile so to sit up with her telling me things she didn't tell anyone - made me feel pretty damn special. But I was a lovestruck kid then. The only 2.30am conversations we have now during brief switch overs when we're both up feeding the twins. Would I stay up all night now? Hell no! Not unless there was a good reason.
Recommended Posts