Teraskas Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 Seriously, where can I find these ? After having been rejected (yet again for the 32nd time), I've come to the conclusion that perhaps I shouldn't be taking the initiative for a change. Assuming that for once it might be beneficial to have the roles of initiative reversed. Seems that clubs and bars aren't cutting it at the moment. Thoughts, ideas, suggestions are all welcome. Link to post Share on other sites
potsticker Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 i doubt it's a problem that could be solved by searching for an "initiating type of woman", as you seem to be implying. If you haven't been initiated on in your life yet, I don't think somehow changing where you go to meet people will change much, unless you attend a femdom convention or something Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teraskas Posted January 15, 2014 Author Share Posted January 15, 2014 i doubt it's a problem that could be solved by searching for an "initiating type of woman", as you seem to be implying. If you haven't been initiated on in your life yet, I don't think somehow changing where you go to meet people will change much, unless you attend a femdom convention or something Hah, I'm open to ideas. It's happened before though, but at the time I was in a relationship. Usually happened when I was out with my mates in a bar, and they all went outside to smoke. I don't smoke so I remained indoors...so I assume that created a window for some women to approach me lol. ^^ It's kinda strange though, because now during my single life when I seem to revisit places where it happened in the past, it doesn't seem to be happening in the present. :/ Link to post Share on other sites
potsticker Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 Hah, I'm open to ideas. It's happened before though, but at the time I was in a relationship. Usually happened when I was out with my mates in a bar, and they all went outside to smoke. I don't smoke so I remained indoors...so I assume that created a window for some women to approach me lol. ^^ It's kinda strange though, because now during my single life when I seem to revisit places where it happened in the past, it doesn't seem to be happening in the present. :/ there you go! because you were alone, it was less intimidating for the girl to approach you And yea, I know the feeling. A lot of guys feel that them being taken suddenly increases their chances of getting hit on It's probably because they were taken, their self-confidence oozed out of them, causing them to really look their best in terms of aura, I suppose you could say. Anyways, I suppose if there's an activity you'd attend without your "buds", but encourages social interactions, it might work? Like some sort of hobby club (mountaineering?) or a team (sports?) or _____? Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 Um, why not meet someone somewhere other than a bar or club? Your odds will be higher talking to the cute lady buying apples or walking around the park than with the girl who is being hit on all night by random guys. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Frank2thepoint Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 Assuming that for once it might be beneficial to have the roles of initiative reversed. This may never happen in our lifetime. Maybe over a hundred years down the road when the ratio of women to men is larger, such as 70:30. Until then, men have to continue indulging women. Seems that clubs and bars aren't cutting it at the moment. Thoughts, ideas, suggestions are all welcome. Try some other places outside of clubs and bars. Market, street fair, meetups, movie theater, cafe, or bookstore. You still have to do the approaching, but those are more relaxed environments, unlike bars and clubs, where many women have their guard up against unwanted attention. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teraskas Posted January 15, 2014 Author Share Posted January 15, 2014 there you go! because you were alone, it was less intimidating for the girl to approach you And yea, I know the feeling. A lot of guys feel that them being taken suddenly increases their chances of getting hit on It's probably because they were taken, their self-confidence oozed out of them, causing them to really look their best in terms of aura, I suppose you could say. Anyways, I suppose if there's an activity you'd attend without your "buds", but encourages social interactions, it might work? Like some sort of hobby club (mountaineering?) or a team (sports?) or _____? Ah damn it. xD Yeah, in hindsight it makes sense now why she approached me. I wasn't thinking of it from her perspective back in the day, heh. Well truth told, my circle of close friends consists of 5 people. Sadly, 4 out of 5 already have girlfriends and don't even bother to meet up anymore, while the 5th refuses to do anything with women whatsoever and desires nothing more than to remain at home. So, as you can see, my social circle is kind of limited...to say the least. While mountaineering sounds like a cool idea as far as a hobby club is concerned...there aren't any mountains in Belgium. (Closest thing we have is the Ardennes, and I'm not willing to drive 200km every week just to do that) However, I am involved in an air rifle shooting club. Originally, I wanted to participate in a live fire arms club or something along those lines but the law over here is much more restrictive than in the US. I appreciate the suggestions folks. I've tried a few of these before, most notably: café, bookstore and market. There I approached women in a non-creepy, non-stalker-ish way. Much to my surprise I managed to get a conversation going, only to be stranded on the 'I already have a boyfriend' line. Whether or not this was truth or a flat out lie, I'll never be able to tell. Link to post Share on other sites
Khyla Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 ... I know the feeling. A lot of guys feel that them being taken suddenly increases their chances of getting hit on It's probably because they were taken, their self-confidence oozed out of them, causing them to really look their best in terms of aura, I suppose you could say. ... THIS. I most definitely agree! Also, as i stated in another post, if a guy ... has a sense of accomplishment about him, a sense of satisfaction and passion for a particular skill, hobby or other endeavor, it shows in an air of self-confidence, and in the way he carries himself, and he exudes attractiveness, ... Link to post Share on other sites
Aquanut Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 I'm not a chick magnet but I do get approached from time to time. A woman will only approach you if she feels safe. You're hanging out with your mates and then they leave. You're alone but she knows you're not a creep with no friends. You seem safe now. I joke with people around me even complete strangers. I think this makes me seem safer. I also like to observe. A woman was talking with her friend about a date she was going to have. A couple of weeks later she comes into the same bar. I make some sort of joke about how her date must not have gone too well because she's back. Then I just go on about my business. Her friend leaves then she turns and starts chatting me up. I've made myself safe. Link to post Share on other sites
Disillusioned Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 Seriously, where can I find these ? After having been rejected (yet again for the 32nd time), I've come to the conclusion that perhaps I shouldn't be taking the initiative for a change. Assuming that for once it might be beneficial to have the roles of initiative reversed. Seems that clubs and bars aren't cutting it at the moment. Thoughts, ideas, suggestions are all welcome. Be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it and find out it's not all it's cracked up to be. I've been approached by women before, but they've always been the loud, rude types who want someone to father their kid. I.e., no dice. I'd need to do some breaking through to connect with the kind of woman who makes MY heart tick. Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 Ah damn it. xD Yeah, in hindsight it makes sense now why she approached me. I wasn't thinking of it from her perspective back in the day, heh. Well truth told, my circle of close friends consists of 5 people. Sadly, 4 out of 5 already have girlfriends and don't even bother to meet up anymore, while the 5th refuses to do anything with women whatsoever and desires nothing more than to remain at home. So, as you can see, my social circle is kind of limited...to say the least. While mountaineering sounds like a cool idea as far as a hobby club is concerned...there aren't any mountains in Belgium. (Closest thing we have is the Ardennes, and I'm not willing to drive 200km every week just to do that) However, I am involved in an air rifle shooting club. Originally, I wanted to participate in a live fire arms club or something along those lines but the law over here is much more restrictive than in the US. I appreciate the suggestions folks. I've tried a few of these before, most notably: café, bookstore and market. There I approached women in a non-creepy, non-stalker-ish way. Much to my surprise I managed to get a conversation going, only to be stranded on the 'I already have a boyfriend' line. Whether or not this was truth or a flat out lie, I'll never be able to tell. Read up on body language-how to make yourself approachable within your group and what to watch for in a woman too. (and no, hair flicking is not the be all and end all.Last time I did that on a date was after walking there in torrential rain - I am a long haired curly and was having a bad (frizzy) hair evening! Lol! I've made the approach before - I am not a single mum and didn't need 'looking after'. I asked him out and we were together for 14 years. My better relationships have been when I made the choice and I have a few times. I'm not loud nor lary either. I'm pretty shy as it goes. Link to post Share on other sites
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