vanellope Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 (edited) I really feel my situation is really akward, the current situation is BS planed to sue me few days ago, but then I got MM's mail said that she decide not to sue me if I don't force him divorce. (I really don't think I did ever force him divorce, I just told him last time that I might consider to be with him only if he is single) in the mail, MM said he want me and BS become friends and he want to do business with me. He feel it's a way can let everyone happy. BS is happy becasue she keep mirrage, He is happy because he don't need divorce and can doing public things with me without hiding, I am happy becasue I can see he often, well I don't think I will be happy to see he and her together in front of me. Is it a kind of open marriage or he want get some benefits from me? in fact I feel strange how the BS can change her attitude so fast, the MM said he will never throw me away, and he feel NC is really stupid thing, what is his plan, I really confused. Edited January 15, 2014 by vanellope Link to post Share on other sites
thinkingofhim Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 I think you should stop talking to both of them 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Snipercatt Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 So, now both of them want to take advantage of you. Apparently BS's threats didn't affect you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
krazikat Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 I really feel my situation is really akward, the current situation is BS planed to sue me few days ago, but then I got MM's mail said that she decide not to sue me if I don't force him divorce. (I really don't think I did ever force him divorce, I just told him last time that I might consider to be with him only if he is single) in the mail, MM said he want me and BS become friends and he want to do business with me. He feel it's a way can let everyone happy. BS is happy becasue she keep mirrage, He is happy because he don't need divorce and can doing public things with me without hiding, I am happy becasue I can see he often, well I don't think I will be happy to see he and her together in front of me. Is it a kind of open marriage or he want get some benefits from me? in fact I feel strange how the BS can change her attitude so fast, the MM said he will never throw me away, and he feel NC is really stupid thing, what is his plan, I really confused. Um, is this the same email you write about weeks ago? If so, it doesn't seem like BS has changed her mind...being friends wasn't her idea but her dumb ass husband...why are you even entertaining this? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author vanellope Posted January 15, 2014 Author Share Posted January 15, 2014 no, I got his mail today. Link to post Share on other sites
Author vanellope Posted January 15, 2014 Author Share Posted January 15, 2014 So, now both of them want to take advantage of you. Apparently BS's threats didn't affect you. her threat did affect me, and until now I didn't write anything back to MM or her. I just got mail from MM today and I think it's because the BS told him she wrote that messages to me, so that's why he wrote me the mail now. Link to post Share on other sites
krazikat Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 no, I got his mail today. Ok, but didn't he email or talk to you about this before? Link to post Share on other sites
ComingInHot Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 Friends with the ow or exOW? Uhhmmm No. That ship sailed when she slept with My H. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Snipercatt Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 I just got mail from MM today and I think it's because the BS told him she wrote that messages to me, so that's why he wrote me the mail now. So, what! Nothing has changed, Nothing! Look there is a saying, "garbage in = garbage out." There is nothing about being in a relationship with either one of these fools, or one of them individually that is going to be good for you. They are intent on using you to make their lives better. It will result in your life being worse. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 What was the BS sueing you for? Link to post Share on other sites
Snipercatt Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 What was the BS sueing you for? http://http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/other-man-woman/454728-about-suing Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 I really feel my situation is really akward, the current situation is BS planed to sue me few days ago, but then I got MM's mail said that she decide not to sue me if I don't force him divorce. (I really don't think I did ever force him divorce, I just told him last time that I might consider to be with him only if he is single) in the mail, MM said he want me and BS become friends and he want to do business with me. He feel it's a way can let everyone happy. BS is happy becasue she keep mirrage, He is happy because he don't need divorce and can doing public things with me without hiding, I am happy becasue I can see he often, well I don't think I will be happy to see he and her together in front of me. Is it a kind of open marriage or he want get some benefits from me? in fact I feel strange how the BS can change her attitude so fast, the MM said he will never throw me away, and he feel NC is really stupid thing, what is his plan, I really confused. His wife and you will never be friends, fact that he's even bringing this up is ridiculous! He has some sort of sick fantasy going on and he's full of crap. Why are you even entertaining this? NC is NC and it's time for to let go of him and the drama that keeps happening. Have you grieved yet? Seems all this contact does is keep you focused on him. She has not changed her attitude towards you, she hates you. He's playing both sides, I hope you see this? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
hurtnomorerika Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 Trust me this woman does not want to be your friend. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
wannabdone Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 I'm sorry, but this is messed up. Turn & run. The ONLY way the BS would even ACT and I stress ACT like she is your friend, is to get info about the A. Outside of that, she despises you - - please do not be fooled by this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 I really feel my situation is really akward, the current situation is BS planed to sue me few days ago, but then I got MM's mail said that she decide not to sue me if I don't force him divorce. (I really don't think I did ever force him divorce, I just told him last time that I might consider to be with him only if he is single) in the mail, MM said he want me and BS become friends and he want to do business with me. He feel it's a way can let everyone happy. BS is happy becasue she keep mirrage, He is happy because he don't need divorce and can doing public things with me without hiding, I am happy becasue I can see he often, well I don't think I will be happy to see he and her together in front of me. Is it a kind of open marriage or he want get some benefits from me? in fact I feel strange how the BS can change her attitude so fast, the MM said he will never throw me away, and he feel NC is really stupid thing, what is his plan, I really confused. I think your MM is delusional. It doesn't seem as though his wife is the one who wants to be friends with you and I wouldn't be surprised if she knows nothing of his delusional plans for you all to be one big happy family. I read the first few sentences and thought you were gonna say that the BS is the one who emailed/called you about being friends (which would still be suspicious IMO) but it isn't a case of that...it's a case of MM wanting to quell the drama. You said you only would date him if he is single: he isn't. Please walk away from him as this new plan I'm sure isn't going to work. Even if they magically have an open R now, it is clearly not something you want. Tell him NO THANKS! No business, no friends with BS, no open R. Go back to NC. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
lilmisscantbewrong Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 There is a reason behind this and it does not benefit you in any way - run far away from these people. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author vanellope Posted January 15, 2014 Author Share Posted January 15, 2014 Ok, but didn't he email or talk to you about this before? he start talking after the first time we start NC, he thought this is a way for everyone. Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 he start talking after the first time we start NC, he thought this is a way for everyone. It isn't. Please run away from them both. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author vanellope Posted January 15, 2014 Author Share Posted January 15, 2014 he did talk about one big family concept, sometime I confusing, what is the diffetence of it compared with the open marriage? Link to post Share on other sites
krazikat Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 he did talk about one big family concept, sometime I confusing, what is the diffetence of it compared with the open marriage? Girl come on! Let this jackass go! He is not a good guy...he is a creep. He recorded you in a sexual act without your knowledge, he thru you under the bus, his wife is out for blood, this situation is toxic! The question you need to find the answer to is why you are still hanging on after all the crap this creep has fed you and his wife. He is no good, V. This whole situation is toxic. Why are you hanging on? Block him, shake him off, and find love and respect for yourself. No woman who truly respects herself would even entertain continuing a relationship with a man who secretly.recorded their sex act. That is foul. Find yourself, V. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
almond Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 I really don't think I did ever force him divorce, I just told him last time that I might consider to be with him only if he is single Learn to stand by what you say, otherwise, you'll get walked over your entire life. Stick to this, and do it firmly. Cease all contact with them immediately. He wants to do "business" with you, and have you befriend the wife that you both hurt so deeply? Lol. Oh my. Open your eyes. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 he did talk about one big family concept, sometime I confusing, what is the diffetence of it compared with the open marriage? What are you asking? HE is the one talking about this...no one else. His wife I'm almost positive isn't in on this concept. They are not in an open marriage obviously. He is now trying to make this up after the fact. The difference is: people in an open marriage go in knowing it and there would be no need to sneak around. He had an affair. Even if the marriage was open, someone sleeping with someone their spouse doesn't like or doesn't know about won't work. The BS doesn't like you. She doesn't want to be your friend. She is angry with you. She wants to sue you. The MM is the ONLY one who is delusional and acting like things can be smoothed over and you all can be sister wives. I am almost sure his wife has no clue he is saying this or that he's still speaking to you. Why would you want to proceed with this situation? That's the difference here...this situation is not for real or honest or an open marriage. He is daydreaming that it can be and you too are somehow hoping it is true...but it isn't. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author vanellope Posted January 15, 2014 Author Share Posted January 15, 2014 yes, I really don't know why I still have feelings for this man after all these things happened. I think you are right that in my mind maybe I did want it could work out, so I was lying myself and believe what he told. He said I need more patient and he want I can wait and give the wife more time to accept. from his mail he still keep saying he love me and miss me, and I admit I still have feelings when see those words, I know it's toxic. I did not write back so from their side they don't know I have those conflicting emotion. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author vanellope Posted January 16, 2014 Author Share Posted January 16, 2014 I became friends with the OW after d-day. We are still friendly with one another today, but just not as close anymore due to distance. However, this would not have been the case had she been a knowing OW instead of someone who was lied to and manipulated just like I was. why you can be friend with the OW? sorry I don't understand why the BS hate me so much. because I never talk her bad things behind her back and when she called me I talk very polite to her. Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted January 16, 2014 Share Posted January 16, 2014 why you can be friend with the OW? sorry I don't understand why the BS hate me so much. because I never talk her bad things behind her back and when she called me I talk very polite to her. Because you were sleeping with her husband... Some of it may be disproportionately on you and maybe with time she will feel less strongly but the short answer is: she dislikes you because you were sleeping with her husband behind her back and complicit in a situation that has caused her pain. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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