4 months and I want to tell him I still miss him

[beyondcrushed]

Were in a committed exclusive relationship for 8 months. We broke up 4 months ago. He said I was needy. And it was too much for him. We work together. he tried to continue a friendship with me (maybe out of guilt) But it was too hard for me and I told him I can't be friends and that I am trying to avoid/ignore him to get over him. So he's left me alone.

 

Then he talked to me again telling me he saw me on an online dating site and told me he was ready to date too. After that, I tried to be friends but he made it clear he wants nothing to do with me like that. He would reply but it was me doing all the work, making the effort. So It was clear he didn't want anything to do with me. So I stopped and left him alone. Now we only talk work when at work. Its very hard to get over him when I work with him.

 

At xmas, I texted him wishing him a merry xmas, that I cherish the time we had, that I will always love him and that I wish him nothing but the best. He never replied. He never messaged me on new years or on my birthday (Jan 3) Yesterday, he dropped off on my desk one of my print outs from the printer when he didn't need to. So Today I'm having a breakdown. A very weak moment.

 

We corresponded through email on a work item. The emails were borderline friendly, kind of joking with each other. Now I am so upset. Missing him like crazy. I want to tell him I still miss him terribly. But I know it will accomplish nothing. Especially if he's moved on. It's just unbelievable that he was able to get over me so quickly. Like I meant nothing to him. That's the hardest part.

 

I am hoping one day he'll come back to me. Do I tell him I miss him?

Edited January 16, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Haydn]

NO, he does not need to know how you feel. Keep going.

Edited January 16, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[erklat]

No. You retreat to your NC cocoon unless he either says:

 

• I love you.
  
• I made a terrible mistake.
  
• I want to give us another shot.
  

Anything else are breadcrumbs of no relevance for you to overanalyze.

 

 

[example] So let's say your only source of happiness in ur life was him. He decided it was too much for him and he decided it is for you to solve. Forum months later you (whom he coldheartedly dumped) says agin you miss him? What does it tell to him?

 

 

It is more important for you and your well being to solve the cause of your needyness. Believe me - when you start to solve it you will see how what you had with him fades. At first you'll not want to date but that is ok. You don't meet people that could spark you everyday either. And at one point you'll begin wondering could he spark you agin too. Then you'll know u r on the right track.

 

 

Go NC, NC, NC!

[strive]

I think it's time to work on yourself instead of pining for him.

 

He said you're needy and your xmas text says it all. You wanted to elicit a reaction from him which is why you said that instead of a plain greeting.

 

Hard to NC if you work together But do your best to try to keep thoughts of him out of your head.

[beyondcrushed]

Thanks all. Sad news. We ended up flirting through work email. JC. I made a comment about sex jokingly and he jumped on it. Now there's a proposal on the table for ex-sex, no strings attached. He is into it but said I should really think about it cause it could cause a setback for me and emotional turmoil. When I think i'd be strong and keep my emotions out of it, my gut tells me that I will be crushed, completely destroyed by it. It is so tempting, partly cause I would be close to him again, and partly cause I hope we may reconcile. Yes, I know, ludicrous. It's so tough. Funny, cause he made a comment how he's not sure he wants to be part of my "stable". I quickly made it clear I don't have a stable and I don't sleep around. That's when he said it would be fun, but think about it seriously cause it could get ugly. Then he says he's spent time learning who he was, and being alone for 4 months was sobering. LOL. He is emotional and jealous. So although it sounds like he's over me completely, he wants to be my only sex partner. Wow. Funny.

 

As much as I want to, I think I will leave this one alone. Just talking to him at work sets me back. Sex will KILL me!

[Mariposa10]

Please, please! We don't know each other personally, but do me a favor and DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH HIM. It's not worth it!!

 

 

 

Thanks all. Sad news. We ended up flirting through work email. JC. I made a comment about sex jokingly and he jumped on it. Now there's a proposal on the table for ex-sex, no strings attached. He is into it but said I should really think about it cause it could cause a setback for me and emotional turmoil. When I think i'd be strong and keep my emotions out of it, my gut tells me that I will be crushed, completely destroyed by it. It is so tempting, partly cause I would be close to him again, and partly cause I hope we may reconcile. Yes, I know, ludicrous. It's so tough. Funny, cause he made a comment how he's not sure he wants to be part of my "stable". I quickly made it clear I don't have a stable and I don't sleep around. That's when he said it would be fun, but think about it seriously cause it could get ugly. Then he says he's spent time learning who he was, and being alone for 4 months was sobering. LOL. He is emotional and jealous. So although it sounds like he's over me completely, he wants to be my only sex partner. Wow. Funny.

 

As much as I want to, I think I will leave this one alone. Just talking to him at work sets me back. Sex will KILL me!

[beyondcrushed]

Ok. I won't. Thank you for caring. Hugs.

 

I'm so sad. It's so hard working with him. When i was off work for the week of New Years, I was completely fine. Hardly thought of him. Since I've been back, so hard. It's agony. I hate it!

[strive]

Your logical brain is telling you all the right things. Ex sex = bad. You KNOW this. You're just having a hard time accepting it.

 

Stay strong. You can get past this.

[beyondcrushed]

LOL, so true about logical brain. I just need to get a grip emotionally. Ok. I'll do what I can to stay strong and get past this. SOOOOOOOO HAAAAARD!