liliana17 Posted January 16, 2014 Share Posted January 16, 2014 I love him sooo much. I am 16 and he is 19. Next month we will be together for a year. I am scared to get convinced to do something by another guy. When guys try to hit on me i send them to hell but i am scared i will stray away. I try to think ahead of time just in case. I think things like "i have respect for I'm, it is wrong to do such a thing, i will leave him before cheating on him." I am just scared because he is my first real boyfriend and i've heard that after a long time people begin to wonder what is out there i don't want that to happen to me. Its weird i am worried about me but not about him straying. He has showed me he loves me i don't think him capable of cheating or hurting me. What do you guys think? Link to post Share on other sites
MrMeh Posted January 16, 2014 Share Posted January 16, 2014 If you have to think about if you are going to cheat on him then you should probably end it. I suggest you mature a little until you are actually ready for a relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author liliana17 Posted January 16, 2014 Author Share Posted January 16, 2014 If you have to think about if you are going to cheat on him then you should probably end it. I suggest you mature a little until you are actually ready for a relationship. Why should i leave the guy i love just because i am thinking ahead just in case by some crazy impossible way i even think about cheating on him? Ive heard of people who never thought they would cheat and did. I am mature enough for this relationship. I am not considering cheating on him if i were then you wouldve been right. Link to post Share on other sites
Trep Posted January 16, 2014 Share Posted January 16, 2014 If you're so worried about cheating on him chances are you will. If people who say they would never cheat and go on to do it, what chance do you think you have if you're already paranoid about doing it? Link to post Share on other sites
Toddbt12y1 Posted January 16, 2014 Share Posted January 16, 2014 Dear. I am sure you will be smart enough to handle this situation. Wondering thoughts are real; the actions have to be controlled. Although, there are types of cheating. Much like emotional and physical. You are very wise. You could give into your fears, and cheat. Instead, you sought out help. Look, things can happen with anyone: Just be smart. Realize who you love and care for; that set or cheating with some stranger is temporary, and will result in a lot of unhappiness vs what you have now. As well, the damage to you as a person. You do not want that. A good reputation is worth everything. I am proud of you for coming to here, and seeking advice. Just weigh your options. Thoughts happen (not right, sure), but they happen. Just do not act on these. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted January 16, 2014 Share Posted January 16, 2014 dont worry about what hasnt happened that may nevr happen.......just continue to love yrou boyfriend....adn fi you ever feel tempted......imagine him there with you......if you wouldnt say or do something in front of him, dont do it when he isnt there if you can picture his face .....he is there with you...talk about him ...think of him...then......trust him and trust yourself...... .......best wishes....deb 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 16, 2014 Share Posted January 16, 2014 You & you alone have sole control over whether you will cheat on your BF or not. You are 16. You are way too young to be tied to one person for the rest of your life. It's very rare that people end up married to the people they dated as teenagers. So I think that at some point your relationship with your current BF will end but not necessarily right now. It's OK to talk to other boys. It's not OK to flirt with them or do things with them behind your BF's back. If you get to a point where you genuinely think you prefer another boy over your BF, end your relationship with your BF. It is perfectly OK to break up with somebody. It's also better to break up with a BF/GF then to cheat on them. Yes, both result in the same thing: the end of your relationship but breaking up before cheating shows integrity. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted January 16, 2014 Share Posted January 16, 2014 You are in charge of your behaviour. Why are you stressed over something that hasn't happened? Did something happen, or did you meet a guy who intrigues you? It seems a bit odd to worry like this without a trigger. It indicates you don't trust yourself. If you feel there's a chance it could actually happen - and if there's some other guy that currently has your attention - you need to take a step back and reconsider your relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author liliana17 Posted January 17, 2014 Author Share Posted January 17, 2014 Dear. I am sure you will be smart enough to handle this situation. Wondering thoughts are real; the actions have to be controlled. Although, there are types of cheating. Much like emotional and physical. You are very wise. You could give into your fears, and cheat. Instead, you sought out help. Look, things can happen with anyone: Just be smart. Realize who you love and care for; that set or cheating with some stranger is temporary, and will result in a lot of unhappiness vs what you have now. As well, the damage to you as a person. You do not want that. A good reputation is worth everything. I am proud of you for coming to here, and seeking advice. Just weigh your options. Thoughts happen (not right, sure), but they happen. Just do not act on these. Thank you you and some others did not bash at me for my age. Some people tend to think all 16 year olds are the same but i am not. It is true all make mistakes but that is exactly why i am thinking ahead so i dont do something stupid. And just to upset the bitter envious so called adults, i am 16 and i am in love. Link to post Share on other sites
Author liliana17 Posted January 17, 2014 Author Share Posted January 17, 2014 You are in charge of your behaviour. Why are you stressed over something that hasn't happened? Did something happen, or did you meet a guy who intrigues you? It seems a bit odd to worry like this without a trigger. It indicates you don't trust yourself. If you feel there's a chance it could actually happen - and if there's some other guy that currently has your attention - you need to take a step back and reconsider your relationship. There is no one i just know the opportunity might come so i am thinking ahead just in case. Link to post Share on other sites
Toddbt12y1 Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 Thank you you and some others did not bash at me for my age. Some people tend to think all 16 year olds are the same but i am not. It is true all make mistakes but that is exactly why i am thinking ahead so i dont do something stupid. And just to upset the bitter envious so called adults, i am 16 and i am in love. I understand that someone of your age can indeed be mature enough. I know you love this guy. You wouldn't have come here if not. Your age is a non-issue. You are a human being seeking help; you should get it in all due respect. You cannot foresee the future. But, you do know right and wrong. The balance is In your hands. You can make the wrong choice or the right choice; based on how your morals are -- how much strength you have to resist temptation. In honesty: Do not allow for yourself to be put into any comprising position. Stay away from those boys who you may lust after. If you happen to be in such a situation: get away if you can or resist. Think of what you have and what it will cost you. Not just this guy you love, oh no, it will cost you a good reputation. really, I recommend never sitting there attempting to battle (resist) temptation. Usually people fail that way. Temptation can be a great force. You see a cute guy, you want to do something with him: but you're taken, and you know it's wrong. Nothing will be good about this. As you gave into urges. Over rationale. I am for one, proud of you 16 year old WOMAN. For coming here and seeking advice. For being mature in your searches. We are always here to help. Link to post Share on other sites
Kate9292 Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 It's not a big deal. Don't limit yourself. Feel free to talk with whoever you want, nothing wrong with that. Even if you cheat, so what? Your still young and in 10 years time you will probably laugh about it or won't even remember him. Link to post Share on other sites
Untouchable_Fire Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 Thank you you and some others did not bash at me for my age. Some people tend to think all 16 year olds are the same but i am not. It is true all make mistakes but that is exactly why i am thinking ahead so i dont do something stupid. And just to upset the bitter envious so called adults, i am 16 and i am in love. Your brain won't be fully developed until 20 or 21. I was just like you at 16. I wish you well, and have one piece of advice. Don't focus on the things you don't want... Instead focus on the things you DO want. You will tend to accomplish whatever you set your mind to... Try not to make that cheating. Also... Good job realizing that the other boys your age do not tend to have the best of intentions. View them as opportunistic predators. Link to post Share on other sites
bubbaganoosh Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 You better do some checking. If your 16 and your boyfriend is 19 and (I don't know this) your having sex with him, it could be considered rape since your a minor and he's an adult. To answer your question, IMO your too young to be in a relationship and yes you think that your different than other 16 year old's but we all felt that way at one time. Enjoy your life and have fun without being tied down. You only go around once in life. Enjoy it while you can. Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 Are you torturing yourself with hypotheticals or do you have someone in mind? I can only suggest to enjoy the time with your bf and do not worry about fictitious scenarios. Link to post Share on other sites
Author liliana17 Posted January 19, 2014 Author Share Posted January 19, 2014 I understand that someone of your age can indeed be mature enough. I know you love this guy. You wouldn't have come here if not. Your age is a non-issue. You are a human being seeking help; you should get it in all due respect. You cannot foresee the future. But, you do know right and wrong. The balance is In your hands. You can make the wrong choice or the right choice; based on how your morals are -- how much strength you have to resist temptation. In honesty: Do not allow for yourself to be put into any comprising position. Stay away from those boys who you may lust after. If you happen to be in such a situation: get away if you can or resist. Think of what you have and what it will cost you. Not just this guy you love, oh no, it will cost you a good reputation. really, I recommend never sitting there attempting to battle (resist) temptation. Usually people fail that way. Temptation can be a great force. You see a cute guy, you want to do something with him: but you're taken, and you know it's wrong. Nothing will be good about this. As you gave into urges. Over rationale. I am for one, proud of you 16 year old WOMAN. For coming here and seeking advice. For being mature in your searches. We are always here to help. Thank you god bless. Thanks for supporting me. Not all 16 year olds are the same we are all different people its just sad that people tend to think we are all immature children who dont know what we want or what we are doing. Here is some news for you all, everyone is human and we all make mistakes no matter what age. We who treat others right and want the best for others, who want to be and try our best to be good people deserve respect. I might not know it all but i know right from wrong, i know hate and if i know hate i know love. goodnight everyone. Link to post Share on other sites
thedmc Posted January 21, 2014 Share Posted January 21, 2014 "Love" when you are 16 is like having a brand new toy as a little kid. You like it until something better catches your eye, Which generally happens rather quickly. Stop over thinking it, Just break it off and explore. Link to post Share on other sites
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