stress disorder

[HokeyReligions]

So. My test results are coming back. On top of regular stress we all have my body has decided I need more. My hormones have been off base for years and my brain chemistry has decided to play tricks on my organs. The symptoms are like panic attacks and viscous anger and serious hunger. Its like in the flip of a switch I'm anxious and pissed at myself for it and mad at the world and my stomach starts really growling and I feel like I want to eat. I thought it was gastrointestinal when I saw the doctor. He ran tests including testing for depression. Ive had so much stress for so long and have just forced myself to ignore it that its finally had a physical effect.

 

Im already dealing with other aspects of premature aging. Like going thru menopause at age 32 then suddenly starting again at age 50 only to go thru it again. Arthritis I've had since I was a kid but it was controlled until recently. Vertigo so bad I didnt drive for over two years. Now this. Its usually triggered by a naturally occurring stressful situation but not all stressful situations trigger it. Ive also been awoken from a sound restful sleep with it.

 

All the doc can do is try different 'cocktails' until we find the right one but we have to be careful because I now have heart problems. My daughter died of heart problems that have randomly plagued my family. Mom had it all her life and died at 80.

 

Hmmm. I guess I'm just MESSED UP. Lol.

 

My poor husband. I'm the caretaker. I can't be sick. He can't outlive me...that particular pain of loss should be mine to bear. Not his. Man I'm hungry!