delight Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 So I met my husband while he in the American army and based in Germany and I in Ireland. He has moved to Ireland but we go home to the states for visits. His best friend happens to be dating a girl my fiancee slept with more than once (they had a thing but she dumped him for his best friend)and who tried to cause trouble from the start of me dating my now husband. The first time I met her she told me how she had been sent naked pictures of him via text , yet her boyfriends exes have to be talked about in male names. My husband cannot see how hurtful it is for me to be dragged around his ex, saying that I can’t accept he has a past. This is untrue, I just cannot accept being dragged around it. We have been together 2 years but this has always been a point of contention and he will throw things up like he has nothing in Ireland. It’s not the most gentlemanly thing to do dragging your wife into this. He said I Make him feel he can’t go home at all And that on the last visit all I did was ***** and moan the whole time. He said I made him feel he was having a breakdown.He resents me for it. I just don’t feel he understands how this makes me feel, he has also dumped me in the past for them before we got engaged.What would anyone else do in my shoes? Link to post Share on other sites
angel.eyes Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 Spouses (and current girlfriends) get prioritized over exes. It's perfectly reasonable to request not to be around his troublemaker ex. Unfortunately, this was an issue even before you married, and he dumped you rather than honor your feelings and drop the ex. You're back together and married despite her remaining firmly in the picture, so you've essentially agreed to the status quo. Rather than turning it into a right or wrong issue at this point, ask him to be sensitive to your feelings and stop socializing with her. Point out that you aren't asking him to drop all his friends, just this particular ex. Is it possible, they're still involved romantically? Why is he so insistent on keeping her in the picture, to the point that he risked and continues to risk his relationship with you, his wife? Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 I agree that this is the red flag here he has also dumped me in the past for them before we got engaged. I would suggest that you explain how it makes you feel and ask him to make your feelings a priority. If he won't, then I'm afraid that there maybe more to this than meets the eye. Link to post Share on other sites
Author delight Posted January 17, 2014 Author Share Posted January 17, 2014 Do you know the only response I get from him is "so I have to dump my best friend ". I said why can't he and him just go out , that ill do something else, then he asked but who will drive? This kaitlin one drives them. He also said its always about me that I give him no options. Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 (edited) he should tell that ex to stop being rude to you at least, learn to drive and ferry them around instead, and I say, if he says no I would find that no to be odd, do not argue, I think you will spoil your relationship, he should let you drive as this is no big deal, chilled Edited January 17, 2014 by darkmoon Link to post Share on other sites
Author delight Posted January 17, 2014 Author Share Posted January 17, 2014 Well I told him to get a taxi . He needs to man up 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts