Shepp Posted January 21, 2014 Share Posted January 21, 2014 I am just playing devils advocate. If men know so much than why is divorce so prevalent. I think men know they would be interested in a long term relationship, not necessarily that it would work out. For me: Do I fancy her? Do I get on with her? Do our goals match Is there a spark? If I get all that info and its all good then me and her could have a LTR - simple as that. Doesn't mean that something might not change and totally change my opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted January 21, 2014 Share Posted January 21, 2014 This is interesting, in my wasted youth me and friends would go to gay clubs with gay friends to pick up straight girls. It worked a treat. They knew instantly that we were not gay and it was a very relaxed atmosphere to `pull` in. (Oh god the very thought!) My understanding is that it's not all that uncommon for hetero women to go out to gay bars with their friends. Usually because they just want to enjoy a good night out with their friends without getting hit on and leered at by unsavory straight men left and right. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SYLLPalmer Posted January 21, 2014 Share Posted January 21, 2014 This is interesting, in my wasted youth me and friends would go to gay clubs with gay friends to pick up straight girls. It worked a treat. They knew instantly that we were not gay and it was a very relaxed atmosphere to `pull` in. (Oh god the very thought!) Excellent! Link to post Share on other sites
AnyaNova Posted January 21, 2014 Share Posted January 21, 2014 What struck me about this is maybe both of you had built up this fantasy of each other before actually meeting. Both of you had placed each other on a pedestal, without intentionally wanting to of course. When you guys finally met in person, reality kicked in, and that fantasy bubble was bust. Also, sometimes I think it does take time, though perhaps moreso for a woman. I was pretty convinced after the first date that my current ex that brought me here and I were going nowhere. He was cute and all but I really didn't feel much. I was still on the fence though, so I gave him the second, and because on the first (it was so cute because he said this for the first time literally a minute or two into the date) date he said that he wanted to take me to a restaurant in his town which turned out not to be schedulable for quite a bit, I ended up going on more dates with him. Date four really decided me, and during (I think it was, anyway, my memory count might be a little off) the fifth date I agreed to his offer of exclusivity. And of course the real irony in all of this is that though he'd have to demonstrate commitment to upholding himself and who he actually is as well as a very strong desire to get back together and stay together for quite awhile...with chagrin, though I know I am past this enough to be dating other people and once I was exclusive with someone else, this would no longer be true, I would take him back. Not that he wants to. Apparently. Link to post Share on other sites
Author youdunsay Posted January 22, 2014 Author Share Posted January 22, 2014 This is interesting, in my wasted youth me and friends would go to gay clubs with gay friends to pick up straight girls. It worked a treat. They knew instantly that we were not gay and it was a very relaxed atmosphere to `pull` in. (Oh god the very thought!) Great idea. lol Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 For myself, they were categorized primarily by emotional stability over time; how they reacted to and addressed issues in their own lives, as well as within our dating dynamic. This is what I go by also. This above all else has made me make the decision to end relationships in recent years. Link to post Share on other sites
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