Sailynn Posted January 11, 2005 Share Posted January 11, 2005 My ex-GF called me and wanted to meet and talk. So, we met. At the beginning of the meeting, she couldn't look at me and was very nervous and frozen, but I talked and broke the ice. She was so timid and shy. We started talking and the conversation was light. She said I must have a lot of girlfriends by now, but I didn't go there. I told her that I was living in the present and that I was not coming from a place that was born of the past. The past is past. She wanted to bring up some of the "bad" past, but I reminded her that it was just that, the past. She agreed. We talked about being friends. She said that was all she could do. She said she really, really liked me. She stated that she cherished very much our time together and remembers it fondly. She said that thought of me often and sometimes became mad at thinking about me. I don't know why she said that. She also stated that she had never in her life, ever came back to talk with an ex-bf about being friends of anything, but knew that I was different. She stated that I looked good and my improvements in my physique were really evident. I teased her a little and she teased me a little and we were having fun for awhile. Anyway, she stated that she was glad she came and met with me. All in all, we talked for three hours and had some laughs. The evening ended with her declaring to me that she would be a friend but that she could not open up her heart. I told her that I wanted to be friends but that I would probably be coming from a place that wanted us to get back together, but I'd have to work on letting it go. So, there was some agreement. I concluded that she is still fearful and a little bit vindictive. The next day, she showed up in my exercise class, a class which she has never attended. I was surprised to see her there. So I spoke to her and she merely waved, but never looked up at me. Her being there at that time and in that class, was a definite and sudden change in her pattern. Oh well. Anyway, for myself, I realized I've come a long way and I no longer live in fear or bitterness, but with hope and love that if it happens or not, it's really okay. If I keep working out, getting out and dating other people, life will be greater than before. I don't need her, I desire to at least know her. Link to post Share on other sites
iceisles Posted January 11, 2005 Share Posted January 11, 2005 It's funny how things are never quite the same once you meet back up with an ex. Everything just feels different, which may explain why few second chances are successful. I think it's great that you still want to know her, though, and that you are able to keep her in your mind without driving yourself crazy. Was there a point during NC where you just assumed you may never see her again? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sailynn Posted January 11, 2005 Author Share Posted January 11, 2005 Yes, I had thought that I would never hear from her again, because I did not think she could muster the courage to do so. Anyway, I was moving on after she broke up with me. I had been dating, working out and doing NC. A real positive for me, now that I look back. However, it was difficult. I couldn't get her off my mind and was becoming obsessed, so I wrote to her. She responded back with a proposal to meet and talk and gave it six weeks. I brushed it off. I asked myself, who in the world would delay talking to someone for six weeks. Now that I think about it. If she wanted to be just friends, she could have picked up the phone and spent five minutes doing so. I think it's about control for her. Evidently, she wants me to react in a certain way, begging, crawling and such and I'm not about to be manipulated. Anyway, my eyes were open and I realized how strong I've become. So, the obsession is over. I don't think she'll ever call again. So, Good Bye, it was fun while it lasted. Link to post Share on other sites
iceisles Posted January 11, 2005 Share Posted January 11, 2005 I'm glad that you found your strength. My ex was only keeping me around on a string, and once I caught wind of that, I grabbed the sharpest pair of scissors I had around and cut her loose. I'm sure she will call again one day - little does she know that I am past the point of caring. I'd rather be alone than manipulated. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 11, 2005 Share Posted January 11, 2005 no matter what you do.... do not become friends with her. you now have your closure and must move on. becoming friends or staying in contact with her will keep you from moving on and will negate all the hard work you have done so far. good luck A.M. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sailynn Posted January 11, 2005 Author Share Posted January 11, 2005 Thanks A.M. I believe that her actions are born from a place of fear, cruelty and vindictivness. That's not good for her or me. She appeared gaunt and very skinny, almost anorexic. She couldn't make eye contact. Very sheepish. Now, I realize there is nothing she can do or say anymore that can hurt me, because I don't let it. I've received closure. I'M MOVING ON!!! I know there is something better out there for me. I will always cherish the memories of her and there will be room for someone else. Someone better. Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted January 11, 2005 Share Posted January 11, 2005 Originally posted by iceisles It's funny how things are never quite the same once you meet back up with an ex. Yeah...SOMETIMES they are better. Link to post Share on other sites
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