hippetyhop Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 Whose xAP was too cowardly to end it by leaving you with the notions of "we need to be just friends as that is what I need right now and everything will fall into place", and "this is not the end" while expecting them to wait? He really thinks I'm going to wait. I'm not going to wait, and I won't hear from him again. I've learned my lesson for sure with this dbag. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 In that case, may I respectfully suggest you quit giving him head-space and talking about him here? use your experience and valuable 'insider knowledge' to support, advise and counsel others, and leave him where he belongs... In that dark tiny insignificant box in the dim and distant recesses of your mind, we call "I don't need to even think about this"..... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
happy stillmore Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 Look at it as he did you a favor. He showed his true cowardly self. Would you really want to be with a man who is so weak? You would end up being his mother and making the heavy decisions. My xMM was a coward and I was the one that had to end it. He didn't use the friend line but I think he would if I'd let him. No way, I would settle to be a friend. These guys are children. Seriously, they never emotionally matured. It is like they want something but can't have it because they will get trouble instead of being a man and facing they are not happy with their marriage. They are selfish and not capable of caring for others in a meaningful way. Reminds me of the toddler stage where children can't reason yet and have temper tantrum when they can't have it all. You are better off without the selfish person in your life. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author hippetyhop Posted January 18, 2014 Author Share Posted January 18, 2014 (edited) Look at it as he did you a favor. He showed his true cowardly self. Would you really want to be with a man who is so weak? You would end up being his mother and making the heavy decisions. My xMM was a coward and I was the one that had to end it. He didn't use the friend line but I think he would if I'd let him. No way, I would settle to be a friend. These guys are children. Seriously, they never emotionally matured. It is like they want something but can't have it because they will get trouble instead of being a man and facing they are not happy with their marriage. They are selfish and not capable of caring for others in a meaningful way. Reminds me of the toddler stage where children can't reason yet and have temper tantrum when they can't have it all. You are better off without the selfish person in your life. I've learned this time for good that is all that he is. I think he only will come out and play when the BS gives him a little leverage on the leash. Who knows though. Maybe "everything will fall into place" and he will genuinely never contact me again. The future isn't ours. ::rollingeyes:: The thing is--he got in trouble and he's trying to cover his tracks by making the wife happy, and going out to play. Maybe he did learn his lesson and is focusing on his M for the time being. If that is the case, bravo for them. Or, maybe it is still too much trying to juggle her and having something on the side; although this side piece is done. Hopefully his next AP will be as understanding as me. Edited January 18, 2014 by hippetyhop Link to post Share on other sites
skywriter Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 I've learned this time for good that is all that he is. I think he only will come out and play when the BS gives him a little leverage on the leash. Who knows though. Maybe "everything will fall into place" and he will genuinely never contact me again. The future isn't ours. ::rollingeyes:: The thing is--he got in trouble and he's trying to cover his tracks by making the wife happy, and going out to play. Maybe he did learn his lesson and is focusing on his M for the time being. If that is the case, bravo for them. Or, maybe it is still too much trying to juggle her and having something on the side; although this side piece is done. Hopefully his next AP will be as understanding as me. Oh my, it sounds like we had the same AP! Link to post Share on other sites
Author hippetyhop Posted January 18, 2014 Author Share Posted January 18, 2014 Oh my, it sounds like we had the same AP! Ha! And how well did "everything fall into place"?? I'm actually wondering if he really thinks I'll wait. Link to post Share on other sites
skywriter Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 (edited) Ha! And how well did "everything fall into place"?? I'm actually wondering if he really thinks I'll wait. He covered his tracks I suppose, because they are still married. I was just so relieved to put the A behind me, and I haven't wanted any future contact with him. Once I got out of the A, my life quickly took a turn for the better. Made me wonder, just what was I waiting for. Now I'm almost one year into a relationship with a single guy. I can understand the wives fear, and the wanting to believe her husband. She's supposed to be able to have faith and trust in a mans she's invested all of her adult life with and created a home and a family with. I'm sorry that I know he isn't the husband that she deserves to have. I have to tend to my own part in the A, and that's what I've done. Now, I don't have that on my conscience anymore. but as to the subject of him being too cowardly to end the A. Sure he was too cowardly because he was comfortable having his cake and eating it too. Edited January 18, 2014 by skywriter 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author hippetyhop Posted January 18, 2014 Author Share Posted January 18, 2014 Oh, definitely. I wonder how much he will be a friend if he contacts me. I told him that friends talk; they don't shut each other out. What a 'friend' he is. Link to post Share on other sites
Goodbye Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 My exMM would "let" me break up with him (probably because it was stressful for him hiding everything from his wife) but he'd ALWAYS act like it was MY choice...not the little factoid that he was married. He'd say stuff like "If you MUST end things, you should know that YOU are the love of my life and I will NEVER get over you." He'd need to have the last word...if I hung up, he'd send me a love text or a letter to my home telling me he would NEVER get over me. Yeah...he'll never get over me, but he'll also never leave his wife. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hippetyhop Posted January 18, 2014 Author Share Posted January 18, 2014 My exMM would "let" me break up with him (probably because it was stressful for him hiding everything from his wife) but he'd ALWAYS act like it was MY choice...not the little factoid that he was married. He'd say stuff like "If you MUST end things, you should know that YOU are the love of my life and I will NEVER get over you." He'd need to have the last word...if I hung up, he'd send me a love text or a letter to my home telling me he would NEVER get over me. Yeah...he'll never get over me, but he'll also never leave his wife. That is what I think happened this time. After BS is likely still suspicious (she didn't know of me, just prior a thing that occurred), I don't think he had the free time to come and go as he pleases anymore. He may try to reappear when it is convenient for him as right now "being friends is what he needs." Link to post Share on other sites
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