Curious about this friend

[Creon]

Hi! A year ago I posted here with regards to the break-up from hell. Well, I can safely say 12 months later that's all in the past Moved on with my life and it's all going well.

 

So there's this new girl. Problem is... she has a boyfriend. Yep, the old boyfriend bomb. We've only known each other since August 2013 but we hit it off big time. We have so much in common, we're always talking to each other. We both want to go into filmmaking and I've just recently stayed at her place to help out with one of her projects - on the sofa mind.

 

She's been with her boyfriend (first love) for just under 4 years. They seem happy enough but she keeps dropping phrases like 'it's falling apart' 'I don't know how long we'll last. I take note of these, but I don't say anything.

 

So... recently, we were watching a film and she cuddles up to me, like head on chest sort of thing. She also is feeding me from her hand. She keeps making excuses to hang out with me such as decorating my room, going on dog walks, watching movies together. It's very confusing situation obviously. She says she goes for older men, which I am (just under five years her senior). She even compared me to her boyfriend, saying that my taste in milkshake was the same as hers, as opposed to her boyfriend who prefered a different flavor.

 

Now, I'm the last person on Earth to make a move on her when she's with her bf. I know how much that sucks. Problem is though, so many times in my life I've acted too late and lost a lot of opportunities to have a relationship because of anxiety issues. So this time I want it to be different.

 

Everyone I've asked has said that she obviously likes me, but I know her having a boyfriend is not making it easier.

 

Other things she's done: wear my jacket, go in for extended hugs, made excuses to phone me, asked if my ideal girlfriend was somone who'd be into filmmaking. She even offered to come round and help (jokingly) burn my ex-gf's stuff which I'm stuck with since NC is in full effect. She leaned in close and pretended to kiss me, when I wasn't looking for one.

 

She even said that for me, she'd help make one of my film that falls into a genre of films she hates. But for me she's said she would.

 

Anyone want to dissect this situation please do! I know sometimes it's black and white, but love really isn't... Pursue or not?

[potsticker]

do you really want to be with someone who practically makes moves on other guys while still in the relationship? sounds like the moment things go south, she'll just run into some other guy's arms. I seriously doubt she even knows what she really wants just from your description.

[WordvAction]

A. I know you say you're principled because you're not making the move, but c'mon; you're letting all these things happen leading up to these "flirty" situations. Please don't try and portray yourself as innocent and not flirting back or starting the flirting. You've already reached 3rd base on the home wrecker scale, might as well go for home.

 

B. Seems like you have feelings, so might as well go for her and gain some valuable experience. Chances are she'll do to you what she's doing to her current ex.

 

Also, please don't take that first paragraph as if I'm a bitter person because you're making moves on a girl in a relationship; I'm not. I just get annoyed when people paint themselves as innocent players when they're just as involved in the confusing events.

[OpheliaSong]

She is full on flirting with you. She would make a terrible gf. End of story. Sorry, I hate to be the bad news Mercury.

[lolablue17]

Tell her that you starting to develope feelings for her, but since she is in relationship, you dont want to get hurt, so you are going to minimize your contact, an thats it!

 

If she is into you, and she really mean to leave her boyfriend soon, she will know what to do. if after all this she will still remain his girlfriend, well... sorry, but she doesnt like you enough.