Thoughts on NC

[hippetyhop]

Wow, this sounds like me. We broke up 6/25, I reached out to him on our 3 month breakup (9/25) telling him i missed him terribly. We started texting/talking/ and even got together once. We both discussed how much we missed each other, he told me he couldnt imagine being with someone else, he was feeling like he was missing out on the best thing that ever happened to him, blah, blah, blah. Then one month later, he started to act differently and started distancing himself. About 3 weeks after that he tells me he has no feelings anymore and he questioned our whole relationship.

 

Havent spoken since.

 

Did he mention it was the end of the relationship, or pull the "lets be friends right now" stance?

 

He hasn't told me yet that he doesn't have feelings for me'. It is apparently obvious he doesn't, or he's just keeping his guard up. For the duration of whatever we had for those few months the second time around, he was awfully moody and had many hot/cold days. All I did was try my best when he was down to give him his space. The more we have this up/down back/forth thing going on, it just pushes me away.

Edited January 20, 2014 by hippetyhop

[SadNLonley]

Part of me thinks I know him really well and this is just a way to protect his feelings. Needing time away from to think about it all. Part of me knows that he wont let his ego contact me whether he wants to or not.

 

I just cant help but feel this NC has to stop at some point. We both agreed living life without each other is miserable. I reached out to him last time, unfortunately as much as it hurts me I cant do it again. He will have to do it or I guess I cry myself to sleep every night for awhile.

[hippetyhop]

Part of me thinks I know him really well and this is just a way to protect his feelings. Needing time away from to think about it all. Part of me knows that he wont let his ego contact me whether he wants to or not.

 

I just cant help but feel this NC has to stop at some point. We both agreed living life without each other is miserable. I reached out to him last time, unfortunately as much as it hurts me I cant do it again. He will have to do it or I guess I cry myself to sleep every night for awhile.

 

I think the above with you, but I'll never know.

 

Although he contacted me the first round, I'm not going to contact him this round since he said its what he needs for now.

 

Neither of us mentioned yet how we make each other miserable, but I knew something was not adding up. I know he's been stressed at work, a recent surgery that is not allowing him to train for his half marathon (he would start his training right about now), but I don't understand why he'd want to push me away?

[H245]

NC to me has helped me some. I deleted and blocked her on FB and it has helped since I kept seeing posts from her saying how she's always having a good time out. Not sure if it was supposed to be a jab at me or not. Either way, blocked she is and blocked she will remain maybe forever. The hardest part will be when mutual female friends post pictures of their nights out with her or when I go to mutual events and she is there. For now I just plan to lay low from any and all events she is at.

[hippetyhop]

NC to me has helped me some. I deleted and blocked her on FB and it has helped since I kept seeing posts from her saying how she's always having a good time out. Not sure if it was supposed to be a jab at me or not. Either way, blocked she is and blocked she will remain maybe forever. The hardest part will be when mutual female friends post pictures of their nights out with her or when I go to mutual events and she is there. For now I just plan to lay low from any and all events she is at.

 

You are a tough cookie for keeping FB and the mutual friends. I said forget it and got rid of it all together..and honestly, best decision ever! FB is such a waste of time.

 

About a month after we ended it, we were going to the same concert so luckily I didn't run into him. I was on high alert for awhile.

[H245]

You are a tough cookie for keeping FB and the mutual friends. I said forget it and got rid of it all together..and honestly, best decision ever! FB is such a waste of time.

 

About a month after we ended it, we were going to the same concert so luckily I didn't run into him. I was on high alert for awhile.

 

The mutual friends were my friends first before she ever came into the picture. I've known them longer, so there is no way I am giving up all my friendships I worked hard for. Yeah, healing is going to probably take longer, but at least some of my friends know not to invite both of us out.

[BN1990]

Well today i went of FB and see that she webt from 650 photos to 445 and nearly all of is are gone! I don't have some of the originals, and great memories gone.. The thing is now shes with her frirnds alot! She thinks that this is great even though all her friends are on dating sights looking for a relationship,. When we were in a relationship she seen her friends a bit but not even half as much as she does now! She sees them every few days which is fine, i never stopped her infact i encouraged her as i hate when people change in relationships! You need to always keep your friends! And i was using that, but she chose to stay in with me or do stuff with me when i always encouraged her,, now it looks like i sid the opposite and she said im really happy now with everything...

 

Im so hurt about erasing me on fb, i couldn't care if i had the originals, its erasing me? Thats so immature! Teenagers do that! She also takes no blame or sees wrong with what shes done? Like yeah she can do what she wants, but man deleting photos of our relationship is a kick in the balls! Think its definitely time to walk away, the bridge is still there but not safe at the moment to walk it whicj hurts me so much, she is far better then her friends, they are the type to hang around for a party but not for hard times, i feel so hurt and i miss her over everything

[SadNLonley]

Well today i went of FB and see that she webt from 650 photos to 445 and nearly all of is are gone! I don't have some of the originals, and great memories gone.. The thing is now shes with her frirnds alot! She thinks that this is great even though all her friends are on dating sights looking for a relationship,. When we were in a relationship she seen her friends a bit but not even half as much as she does now! She sees them every few days which is fine, i never stopped her infact i encouraged her as i hate when people change in relationships! You need to always keep your friends! And i was using that, but she chose to stay in with me or do stuff with me when i always encouraged her,, now it looks like i sid the opposite and she said im really happy now with everything...

 

Im so hurt about erasing me on fb, i couldn't care if i had the originals, its erasing me? Thats so immature! Teenagers do that! She also takes no blame or sees wrong with what shes done? Like yeah she can do what she wants, but man deleting photos of our relationship is a kick in the balls! Think its definitely time to walk away, the bridge is still there but not safe at the moment to walk it whicj hurts me so much, she is far better then her friends, they are the type to hang around for a party but not for hard times, i feel so hurt and i miss her over everything

 

So sorry to hear this. Maybe the photos hurt her as well to see them on her page. When I defriended my ex, I deleted our pics as well just because it hurt to see him. I did however save them all to my computer so they aren't really gone. The memories are wonderful. I will look at them at a later date when the heartache isn't so bad.

 

I know what you mean about missing her over everything. Damn, almost everything i see or do reminds me someway or another about him. When someone is such a huge part of your life you cant just erase them from your head (i sometimes wish i could though). Lets just hope for both of us that it gets better. Quick!

[mirage12]

The hardest part of NC for me is the sinking realization that there's also no contact coming from the ex. It's crazy how things can change so quickly, how you can be so in tune with someone/a huge part of their daily life and then they just cut you out.

 

I'm 2 months post BU and it's been long enough where it's not painful anymore but I find that I'm mostly just lonely/sad. I miss talking to her/miss my friend, and it makes me sad to think that after all we went through together, after all was said and done, maybe it didn't mean nearly as much to her as it meant to me.

[H245]

The hardest part of NC for me is the sinking realization that there's also no contact coming from the ex. It's crazy how things can change so quickly, how you can be so in tune with someone/a huge part of their daily life and then they just cut you out.

 

I'm 2 months post BU and it's been long enough where it's not painful anymore but I find that I'm mostly just lonely/sad. I miss talking to her/miss my friend, and it makes me sad to think that after all we went through together, after all was said and done, maybe it didn't mean nearly as much to her as it meant to me.

 

This x100 is how I feel.

[SadNLonley]

The hardest part of NC for me is the sinking realization that there's also no contact coming from the ex. It's crazy how things can change so quickly, how you can be so in tune with someone/a huge part of their daily life and then they just cut you out.

 

I'm 2 months post BU and it's been long enough where it's not painful anymore but I find that I'm mostly just lonely/sad. I miss talking to her/miss my friend, and it makes me sad to think that after all we went through together, after all was said and done, maybe it didn't mean nearly as much to her as it meant to me.

 

Its so amazing to find out that there are so many of us in the same situation even though we each probably feel like no one else could feel this way.

 

I am almost 7 mo post BU and 63 days NC. It does hurt to know that they aren't contacting you either and that they can so easily move on (or so we think). My ex was with me through my divorce (both going through it at same time), death of my mom 3 years ago and death of my dad last year. With losing him now, its like he died to me too and the grief is just unbearable. Just like you, I will continue to fight this NC from my side but I just dont understand how the ex can do it so easily. Think they are on a website for help in getting through a breakup? ha. Not a chance.

[mirage12]

Yeah it's awful. It makes things worse when I think about my relationship before my most recent one, and how that one messed me up for at least 1.5-2 years. I didn't date another woman seriously (my most recent ex) again for 2.5 years. I think about that and I pray that it won't take me so long this time to get over this last ex.

[SadNLonley]

Yeah it's awful. It makes things worse when I think about my relationship before my most recent one, and how that one messed me up for at least 1.5-2 years. I didn't date another woman seriously (my most recent ex) again for 2.5 years. I think about that and I pray that it won't take me so long this time to get over this last ex.

 

Oh my. I hope for your sake it doesnt take that long either. Wow, i hope it doesnt take me that long to get over my ex. Luckily for me, Ive never been through these feelings before. I hope to never feel this way again.

 

Good luck.

[flightplan]

The hardest part of NC for me is the sinking realization that there's also no contact coming from the ex. It's crazy how things can change so quickly, how you can be so in tune with someone/a huge part of their daily life and then they just cut you out.

 

I'm 2 months post BU and it's been long enough where it's not painful anymore but I find that I'm mostly just lonely/sad. I miss talking to her/miss my friend, and it makes me sad to think that after all we went through together, after all was said and done, maybe it didn't mean nearly as much to her as it meant to me.

 

A lot of us feel exactly the same way... but I also think of the alternative. If my ex did reach out to me, I know the feelings from a breadcrumb would only be temporary and would probably set me back. I would rather just keep hugging the cactus to get over the pain. I don't want any delays... I want the fast track

[Xemyd]

The hardest part of NC for me is the sinking realization that there's also no contact coming from the ex.

 

 

That's the battle in my head every single day.

[H245]

That's the battle in my head every single day.

 

Same here

 

Although I did make progress. I almost sent her a text today that her tax stuff came in...decided not to text her and will just mail them out.

[BN1990]

So sorry to hear this. Maybe the photos hurt her as well to see them on her page. When I defriended my ex, I deleted our pics as well just because it hurt to see him. I did however save them all to my computer so they aren't really gone. The memories are wonderful. I will look at them at a later date when the heartache isn't so bad.

 

I know what you mean about missing her over everything. Damn, almost everything i see or do reminds me someway or another about him. When someone is such a huge part of your life you cant just erase them from your head (i sometimes wish i could though). Lets just hope for both of us that it gets better. Quick!

 

Im not sure the reasons, i could only speculate! I think it hasn't much to do with moving on as much, as she said she is happy with her decision and wasnt happy being in the RS, because i wasn't a great person before in the RS And this helped me change, the problem is she still associates me with the old RS!

 

Unfortunately there is nothing i can do now! Its over and shes happy being single, i think theres a small bit of grass is greener in her mind... I cant guess but will have to move on, problem is a part of me doesnt want too!

I genuinely miss her, but i don't know if im just missing a memory! Shes a great person and i love her still, but i don't know whats going off, the last 6/7months have felt like a bomb dropped and i havent been happy for a while with this...

[BN1990]

Same here

 

Although I did make progress. I almost sent her a text today that her tax stuff came in...decided not to text her and will just mail them out.

 

Yeah same again, it is a gutting feeling when you dont get contact? I don't know how you guys do NC but the times ive used it over the last couple of months, i think longest was 3mths, doesn't say much about the length of NC but i never let them know I'm starting NC i just stopped talking to her .. It hurts when they don't talk to your first or even ask how you are?

I don't understand

[BN1990]

I've heard 60 days NC you start feeling better. Not happening for me. Im still a mess over it. I've never had issues in my past with this, but this time I just struggle everyday. He was my best friend one day then poof, he wasnt. That is a hard thing to get beyond. I still find when something happens to me, he's the 1st person I want to reach out to.

 

How are you keeping now? Ive started my NC again last time we spoke on the 20th, its has its waves, sometimes it ok and sometimes im a little anxious? Its pretty crap... Living in a small town where the chances are high to bump into her is quite tough too!