She's being distant

[The Thinker]

I've posted my scenario a couple times, but a brief summary: I met a girl online, we talked via Skype pretty much every day for a few hours for about 4 months. She lives thousands of miles away but will be living very close to me starting this August. I like her, and it definitely seemed like she liked me as well - I don't think I'm a very delusional person, but I think we were headed towards a relationship when she moved here (though I know, there are still several months to go).

 

Anyways, lately I feel as if she's been avoiding me, or trying to talk to me less. I've noticed a few times that when I log on to Skype, she will go onto invisible mode, but I don't say anything because I suspect she just doesn't want to talk, though I can't help but be bothered by it inside. She also doesn't respond to my text messages/snapchat like she used to, and I've noticed lots of differences in her responses. She will just reply with short answers or emoticons, which is unlike her in the past. I suspect I'm bothering her, but when I asked she tells me that she loves talking to me and that I have never bothered her. I don't really understand why she is becoming distant. We've never argued or anything, and I don't think I did or said anything that would have upset her. I know it's not school because she's on holidays, and she doesn't work, or have many friends. She's shy, maybe she's starting to notice I like her and either doesn't like me back, or does and is afraid of it?

 

 

I have no idea, maybe I'm just overthinking this whole thing, but it's making me feel terrible. I don't think she's ever been close with anyone, maybe I should just take it easy and not message her as much and things will go back to normal. The thing is, we still have 6-7 months until we can meet (I don't need to be lectured about the difference between IRL and online), and I knew deep down it wouldn't be smooth sailing all the way with so much time and distance. Maybe it will work itself out. I just don't get it, a couple weeks ago things were great. We were talking about everything, what we would do when we finally meet. She left for a few days and was sad because she wouldn't be able to talk to me, and now it's like she wants nothing to do with me. I'm confused.

Edited January 18, 2014 by The Thinker

[nomadic_butterfly]

I've posted my scenario a couple times, but a brief summary: I met a girl online, we talked via Skype pretty much every day for a few hours for about 4 months. She lives thousands of miles away but will be living very close to me starting this August. I like her, and it definitely seemed like she liked me as well - I don't think I'm a very delusional person, but I think we were headed towards a relationship when she moved here (though I know, there are still several months to go).

 

Anyways, lately I feel as if she's been avoiding me, or trying to talk to me less. I've noticed a few times that when I log on to Skype, she will go onto invisible mode, but I don't say anything because I suspect she just doesn't want to talk, though I can't help but be bothered by it inside. She also doesn't respond to my text messages/snapchat like she used to, and I've noticed lots of differences in her responses. She will just reply with short answers or emoticons, which is unlike her in the past. I suspect I'm bothering her, but when I asked she tells me that she loves talking to me and that I have never bothered her. I don't really understand why she is becoming distant. We've never argued or anything, and I don't think I did or said anything that would have upset her. I know it's not school because she's on holidays, and she doesn't work, or have many friends. She's shy, maybe she's starting to notice I like her and either doesn't like me back, or does and is afraid of it?

 

 

I have no idea, maybe I'm just overthinking this whole thing, but it's making me feel terrible. I don't think she's ever been close with anyone, maybe I should just take it easy and not message her as much and things will go back to normal. The thing is, we still have 6-7 months until we can meet (I don't need to be lectured about the difference between IRL and online), and I knew deep down it wouldn't be smooth sailing all the way with so much time and distance. Maybe it will work itself out. I just don't get it, a couple weeks ago things were great. We were talking about everything, what we would do when we finally meet. She left for a few days and was sad because she wouldn't be able to talk to me, and now it's like she wants nothing to do with me. I'm confused.

 

I think you should leave her alone until she is physically there. Don't make excuses for her, she is clearly avoiding you. Lay off her so she can miss you a bit, and let her do the contact initiation considering how aloof she's been recently. Maybe she met someone in real life and/or struggles to see the point in being so invested in a stranger whom she has not spent time with in real life. It happens.

[The Thinker]

I think you should leave her alone until she is physically there. Don't make excuses for her, she is clearly avoiding you. Lay off her so she can miss you a bit, and let her do the contact initiation considering how aloof she's been recently. Maybe she met someone in real life and/or struggles to see the point in being so invested in a stranger whom she has not spent time with in real life. It happens.

 

TBH it's probably best we don't talk as much as we did until we meet. 7 months is a long time to try and maintain something with someone without them physically being there. Yeah, I'll probably talk to her less and let her initiate more. I guess I'll see what happens when she moves.