Author Cressida Posted January 19, 2014 Author Share Posted January 19, 2014 Sounds like it Look, nobody's getting frustrated. I only asked a question and everybody here,. or at least the BSs, got worked up and said I was 'bitter'. Why would I be bitter? I only said I personally don't agree with ever involving children in such aspects, which is one major thing BSs do. Kids are part of the family but not to certain extents to which the BSs take the whole thing. Two, I inquired whether the people here truly believe a WS returns with his BS for wanting to work it out, realistically speaking, or because he's being forced. Twisting the arm is an expression, for those who can't understand this. I meant indirectly forcing someone to stay in a marriage. Anyway I expected this kind of backlash from BSs. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cressida Posted January 19, 2014 Author Share Posted January 19, 2014 ...because he is a hypocrite? it doesn't pertain to the children that he tells them not to lie and cheat but then goes and does exactly what he's telling them not to do? I'm surprised you would generalize this way. We are all hypocrites to a certain extent in our lives but you're extrapolating it big time. At this rate we'd soon be blaming the Big Bang. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cressida Posted January 19, 2014 Author Share Posted January 19, 2014 because they're evil, selfish women whose only purpose in life is to make their husband miserable! that's what you wanted to hear, no? how are they supposed to know their husband doesn't really want to be with them when he's begging to stay, albeit for financial/social status reasons? they are at fault for believing his lies (yet again)? No, not at all. I don't know what the 'because' is, it really fascinates me. Why? How are they supposed to know? There was this lady who wrote on a different thread how her husband and she were disconnected, they barely talked, he didn't even want to have anything to do with her except for expecting her to 'serve' him sexually, she even had to drive herself to the hospital while in labor, he had an affair (I might be wrong in remembering this but I believe it wasn't the only affair or a short-term thing)...and she still thought he should be given a second chance, because well, the marriage and all that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cressida Posted January 19, 2014 Author Share Posted January 19, 2014 huh? this makes no sense. Obviously Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cressida Posted January 19, 2014 Author Share Posted January 19, 2014 then why do you keep spouting bogus generalizations about "most mothers do this" and "most husbands stay because of this" and actually listen to the women who are trying to tell you about their experiences? what if... women stay because your assumptions about the marital dynamics prior to and during an affair are incorrect? what if the wife and husband both choose to remain married because the marriage, although fractured, isn't broken yet? Then more power to them. I was only looking for answers. Didn't know it was such a sensitive issue on an anonymous forum. No need to fly off the handle, people. Link to post Share on other sites
HermioneG Posted January 19, 2014 Share Posted January 19, 2014 Sounds like it Look, nobody's getting frustrated. I only asked a question and everybody here,. or at least the BSs, got worked up and said I was 'bitter'. Why would I be bitter? I only said I personally don't agree with ever involving children in such aspects, which is one major thing BSs do. Kids are part of the family but not to certain extents to which the BSs take the whole thing. Two, I inquired whether the people here truly believe a WS returns with his BS for wanting to work it out, realistically speaking, or because he's being forced. Twisting the arm is an expression, for those who can't understand this. I meant indirectly forcing someone to stay in a marriage. Anyway I expected this kind of backlash from BSs. As I stated earlier- I packed and set him free to b with her. He chose to fight for our marriage. Finances were not an issue- at all. Our divorce would not have harmed either one of us financially. People cannot force other people to do something. We are not that powerful. Betrayeds don't cause their spouses to cheat, nor do they force them to stay. Please read up on the psychology. In the end/ that will make you feel better and clearer about all of this. Far more than anyone here can do for you. And you won't be dismissing the comments as written by betrayeds. You'll learn what really happens. And why. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BurnedAndLost Posted January 19, 2014 Share Posted January 19, 2014 (edited) Sounds like it Look, nobody's getting frustrated. I only asked a question and everybody here,. or at least the BSs, got worked up and said I was 'bitter'. Why would I be bitter? I only said I personally don't agree with ever involving children in such aspects, which is one major thing BSs do. Kids are part of the family but not to certain extents to which the BSs take the whole thing. Two, I inquired whether the people here truly believe a WS returns with his BS for wanting to work it out, realistically speaking, or because he's being forced. Twisting the arm is an expression, for those who can't understand this. I meant indirectly forcing someone to stay in a marriage. Anyway I expected this kind of backlash from BSs. You didn't ask BSes what they think their husbands motives were. You stated your own skewed perceptions as if they were facts and when anyone told you otherwise you ignored it and repeated the vitriol in your OP. Stop being deliberately obtuse. It is not cute or funny, nor does it make you look clever or indifferent to the topic at hand. you know exactly what you were going, everyone sees it. To pretend otherwise is pointless. Edited January 19, 2014 by BurnedAndLost 4 Link to post Share on other sites
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