NYC-BigKat Posted January 19, 2014 Share Posted January 19, 2014 I cant seem to make it happen & I'm really really trying u know. I went out to a lounge with a friend this evening & came right back home 'cause the girls there acted like they don't wanna meet guys. Isn't that's what lounges are for I told her & she calls me a rude prick & go away. That's mean . As u know facebook isn't working except for the few fast girls I grabbed but looking at them again they weren't that pretty. I was just desperate! So please tell me people where are u meeting your mates at? I really wanna hear it from the guys 'cause meeting a girl and getting with one seems to be so difficult & I don't know why when we're surrounded by girls 24/7. Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted January 19, 2014 Share Posted January 19, 2014 Well, I met mine thru Facebook, but you've already gone that route. Have you tried OLD? How's the job search going? Link to post Share on other sites
MixedUpChick Posted January 19, 2014 Share Posted January 19, 2014 1) How old are you? 2) What things have you tried? 3) Describe the type of woman you're hoping to find. I think this information will be helpful in understanding your situation. Link to post Share on other sites
DanielFife83 Posted January 19, 2014 Share Posted January 19, 2014 I cant either Link to post Share on other sites
DanielFife83 Posted January 19, 2014 Share Posted January 19, 2014 1) How old are you? 2) What things have you tried? 3) Describe the type of woman you're hoping to find. I think this information will be helpful in understanding your situation. what does how old is he have to do with it? Link to post Share on other sites
Author NYC-BigKat Posted January 19, 2014 Author Share Posted January 19, 2014 Well, I met mine thru Facebook, but you've already gone that route. Have you tried OLD? How's the job search going? Hi how did u find the girl on facebook? What did u do to meet her? I tried to do online dating & got ignored so so much it was crazy u know. I would do a lot of really good msgs & no girl cared to answer. I'm still looking for a job I know its hard but at least the mgr at the other job said he will give a pretty good reference for me. I really feel desperate & so lonely though . Link to post Share on other sites
deathandtaxes Posted January 19, 2014 Share Posted January 19, 2014 I cant either That's because you're a bot. OP - cast your net wide. FB, OLD, friends of friends, anywhere and everywhere where women can be found. You just need the courage to approach and talk. Link to post Share on other sites
ByMyself01 Posted January 19, 2014 Share Posted January 19, 2014 I can't seem to find any one either. Only one guy approached me lately and I had to stop talking to him because he started to talk about sex on the first phone conversation. I try to be more open to guys but there's always something wrong... Either they want sex too soon, they don't like me as much as I like them, or if they like me, they probably have someone else on the side. I guess that could be why I'm so hung up over my ex, because he was one of the FEW guys I ever met that showed me as much attention as I showed him. SIGH Link to post Share on other sites
MixedUpChick Posted January 19, 2014 Share Posted January 19, 2014 what does how old is he have to do with it? Because good places to meet 16 year olds might be different than where you'd want to meet 40 year olds. Link to post Share on other sites
Eivuwan Posted January 19, 2014 Share Posted January 19, 2014 Considering your other threads, I think you need to work on yourself first before trying to meet woman. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
nomadic_butterfly Posted January 19, 2014 Share Posted January 19, 2014 I can't seem to find any one either. Only one guy approached me lately and I had to stop talking to him because he started to talk about sex on the first phone conversation. I try to be more open to guys but there's always something wrong... Either they want sex too soon, they don't like me as much as I like them, or if they like me, they probably have someone else on the side. I guess that could be why I'm so hung up over my ex, because he was one of the FEW guys I ever met that showed me as much attention as I showed him. SIGH I know EXACTLY how you feel. My ex has never really dated. Yes he's pumped and dumped and cheated on other gfs but as a serial monogamist, it was always easy for him to find a girl ready and willing as much as one week after a breakup. He was smitten with me from before we even met in real life 10yrs ago when I was a giddy 16yr old and he a 21yr old. Way before I even took him seriously he always called, showed interest, did nice things for me, wanted commitment from the very beginning. It's rarer and seldom found now though as society "evolves," people settle down older, love to multi-date, online date, etc. Everything is too accessible and disposable to be of great value to a lot of folks...slightly depressing to notice this at the young age of 26... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted January 19, 2014 Share Posted January 19, 2014 Hi how did u find the girl on facebook? What did u do to meet her? I tried to do online dating & got ignored so so much it was crazy u know. I would do a lot of really good msgs & no girl cared to answer. I'm still looking for a job I know its hard but at least the mgr at the other job said he will give a pretty good reference for me. I really feel desperate & so lonely though . Well, I'm a girl, so he's the guy. Short story, he was someone I shared a lot of mutual friends with, so it wasn't quite random. We were following and 'liking' a lot of the same posts, mainly about music. Turned out I graduated with his older brother. I eventually sent him a friend request, and then had an extra concert ticket and offered it to him. We're now married, btw. But back to you. I don't think mass messaging to random girls is going to do it for you (with or without the offer of money, LOL!) I know you feel lonely and desperate, I'm sorry for that. But your main focus now needs to be on finding a job. It's great that your prior manager is willing to give you a good reference! Once you're out and working again, you'll be exposed to more people. Networking is good for meeting women as well as finding jobs. You never know when there's going to be someone who knows someone who knows someone, you know? Patience. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author NYC-BigKat Posted January 19, 2014 Author Share Posted January 19, 2014 Well, I'm a girl, so he's the guy. Short story, he was someone I shared a lot of mutual friends with, so it wasn't quite random. We were following and 'liking' a lot of the same posts, mainly about music. Turned out I graduated with his older brother. I eventually sent him a friend request, and then had an extra concert ticket and offered it to him. We're now married, btw. But back to you. I don't think mass messaging to random girls is going to do it for you (with or without the offer of money, LOL!) I know you feel lonely and desperate, I'm sorry for that. But your main focus now needs to be on finding a job. It's great that your prior manager is willing to give you a good reference! Once you're out and working again, you'll be exposed to more people. Networking is good for meeting women as well as finding jobs. You never know when there's going to be someone who knows someone who knows someone, you know? Patience. Good luck! Thank u for being nice to me when most people cant be bothered. But I do like some of the advice in here its very nice. My confidence is not good for the moment 'cause of past failures & I don't even know the reasons for it u know . My friend in my neighborhood claims that the type of personality I have is different from other guys & girls don't know how to reply to that. I wonder if he has a point 'cause he kept saying how different I am & most people aren't used to that so they move away from me & my niceness to them doesn't really matter. My friend doesn't have this problem as much as me but he does struggle. My uncle seems to fit in with society so he has no real issues with girls like if a girl curses him out he laughs it off & goes to another one. I can't laugh stuff like that off u know. Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted January 19, 2014 Share Posted January 19, 2014 (edited) Thank u for being nice to me when most people cant be bothered. But I do like some of the advice in here its very nice. My confidence is not good for the moment 'cause of past failures & I don't even know the reasons for it u know . My friend in my neighborhood claims that the type of personality I have is different from other guys & girls don't know how to reply to that. I wonder if he has a point 'cause he kept saying how different I am & most people aren't used to that so they move away from me & my niceness to them doesn't really matter. My friend doesn't have this problem as much as me but he does struggle. My uncle seems to fit in with society so he has no real issues with girls like if a girl curses him out he laughs it off & goes to another one. I can't laugh stuff like that off u know. Can you get your friend to elaborate on what he means? So you're different. It just means if my take longer to find someone who appreciates that, and she'll probably be 'different' in some way too. Some of your confidence will come back when you get a job. That confidence will spill over into your personal life. You need to figure out why a girl would curse you out. Are you too up front about approaching them? Are you staring at them? Asking them weird questions? Commenting on their hair or clothing? Perhaps they feel threatened. It's good that your uncle can laugh that off, but he's had a lot more life experiences than you. You need to figure out what is in your approach that is resulting in this reaction from them. Edited January 19, 2014 by MidwestUSA Typo Link to post Share on other sites
Author NYC-BigKat Posted January 20, 2014 Author Share Posted January 20, 2014 Can you get your friend to elaborate on what he means? So you're different. It just means if my take longer to find someone who appreciates that, and she'll probably be 'different' in some way too. Some of your confidence will come back when you get a job. That confidence will spill over into your personal life. You need to figure out why a girl would curse you out. Are you too up front about approaching them? Are you staring at them? Asking them weird questions? Commenting on their hair or clothing? Perhaps they feel threatened. It's good that your uncle can laugh that off, but he's had a lot more life experiences than you. You need to figure out what is in your approach that is resulting in this reaction from them. Um...I wouldn't say girls are cursing me a lot but I have been cursed out before yes & the feeling is not good like one time it happened last summer when I was asking a lot of questions to this girl I met in starbucks & she got upset & told me to **** off . Most times girls just pretend they don't see me when I watch them u know. I asked my friend about it today & he said that I don't use a lot of slang words like most in my age group & I'm not jokey like he can be at times. I guess he means I'm serious but I do try to have fun & I do laugh if something is genuinely funny. I don't laugh just to laugh like some people u know. I just feel like I don't belong in this society or something like I'm here by mistake. Link to post Share on other sites
BachelorofCNY Posted January 20, 2014 Share Posted January 20, 2014 Well, I met mine thru Facebook, but you've already gone that route. Have you tried OLD? How's the job search going? What is OLD? you are not talking about age, aren't ya? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted January 20, 2014 Share Posted January 20, 2014 What is OLD? you are not talking about age, aren't ya? Online dating Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted January 20, 2014 Share Posted January 20, 2014 Um...I wouldn't say girls are cursing me a lot but I have been cursed out before yes & the feeling is not good like one time it happened last summer when I was asking a lot of questions to this girl I met in starbucks & she got upset & told me to **** off . Most times girls just pretend they don't see me when I watch them u know. I asked my friend about it today & he said that I don't use a lot of slang words like most in my age group & I'm not jokey like he can be at times. I guess he means I'm serious but I do try to have fun & I do laugh if something is genuinely funny. I don't laugh just to laugh like some people u know. I just feel like I don't belong in this society or something like I'm here by mistake. This last part is sad . You shouldn't feel that way. Everyone is different, we are all unique! Maybe your friend is more of a joker than most people, who knows? You don't have to be like him, if that's not the way you truly feel. Be true to yourself first. Do you have any adults in your life that you are comfortable with that you can talk to? As for the cursing out, you'll just have to let it roll off your shoulders if it happens. Better to have them curse than send their big brothers after you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted January 20, 2014 Share Posted January 20, 2014 I really think you would benefit from taking some kind of a class in social etiquette. There should be loads of them to choose from in NYC. A lot of your problems seem to stem from your behaving in socially inappropriate ways and not realizing it. (For example, sending messages to women on Facebook offering them money for sex; staring at women; etc...) In fact, your socially inappropriate behavior led to your losing your job. If you could figure out how to resolve that, you might have better luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NYC-BigKat Posted January 20, 2014 Author Share Posted January 20, 2014 I really think you would benefit from taking some kind of a class in social etiquette. There should be loads of them to choose from in NYC. A lot of your problems seem to stem from your behaving in socially inappropriate ways and not realizing it. (For example, sending messages to women on Facebook offering them money for sex; staring at women; etc...) In fact, your socially inappropriate behavior led to your losing your job. If you could figure out how to resolve that, you might have better luck. I guess u have some pts about some things I do that's not very good or so but I never do things to hurt anyone. I see guys looking at girls all the time & nothing happens to them but when I do it the girl looks at me worried or she gets upset & tells the mgr if that's what really happened at my last job & I think it did so he let me go by making me resign & then at the job before that the boss picked on me 'cause I was nice & tried to do a really good job & I had to get my uncle to step in & then I got fired after it anyway so none of it really helped . Um...if only these girls knew how good I would treat them maybe things be different but then again it seems girls don't really wanna be treated good. I remember saying that once to my uncle & he laughed & said "say what?" like I was crazy for wanting to be good to girls. Maybe some of this niceness is hurting me & it doesn't help that I'm a little awkward 'cause I'm a pretty big guy too. Link to post Share on other sites
Frank2thepoint Posted January 20, 2014 Share Posted January 20, 2014 I went out to a lounge with a friend this evening & came right back home 'cause the girls there acted like they don't wanna meet guys. Isn't that's what lounges are for I told her & she calls me a rude prick & go away. That's mean . Welcome to NYC. Also, we have Starbucks on every street corner now. Please stop by our gift shop and pick up your very own "I heart NY" for the sale price of $39.99. The Big Apple is an exciting but cold place. I know myself. I feel your pain bro. Lounges are a showcase for the materialists, people that love to show off, but offer no real substance. Conversations are superficial, just like the people. I went to a couple of lounges in the past, and it's gotten worst. If you want to meet quality, stick to less caustic avenues. Meetups, recommendation through friends, co-workers, school, religious organizations, or online dating (ancillary resort to supplement the previous I mentioned). Currently, I myself am working the co-worker angle to get a date with a woman that sounds very interesting. The best part about this method, the woman and I have a character witness (my co-worker) for both of us. Think of it being vetted, as well as the other person. Don't give up and don't let NYC get you down. It can be very depressing sometimes, but that's just background noise, like the street traffic or subway. What you have to do is just ignore it and keep your head up, stay focused, and do your thing. Thing being hobbies and friends. Also, don't be afraid to chat up with the ladies at a Starbucks, train station, book stores, even movie theater. If those are your typical haunting grounds, there's plenty of women that enjoy similar hobbies as yourself. Except maybe Starbucks, because everyone loves 10,000 calories of sugar. Happy hunting. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted January 20, 2014 Share Posted January 20, 2014 I guess u have some pts about some things I do that's not very good or so but I never do things to hurt anyone. I see guys looking at girls all the time & nothing happens to them but when I do it the girl looks at me worried or she gets upset & tells the mgr if that's what really happened at my last job & I think it did so he let me go by making me resign & then at the job before that the boss picked on me 'cause I was nice & tried to do a really good job & I had to get my uncle to step in & then I got fired after it anyway so none of it really helped . Um...if only these girls knew how good I would treat them maybe things be different but then again it seems girls don't really wanna be treated good. I remember saying that once to my uncle & he laughed & said "say what?" like I was crazy for wanting to be good to girls. Maybe some of this niceness is hurting me & it doesn't help that I'm a little awkward 'cause I'm a pretty big guy too. I'm not insinuating that you are purposely doing things to hurt anyone. However, given your post history, you are repeatedly doing things that are really offputting (and creepy) to the women you are interacting with. If you take a social etiquette class (or even hire a dating coach), an objective third party may be able to assist you with identifying what you can do differently. You just seem really socially awkward, and that is not going to help your situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NYC-BigKat Posted January 21, 2014 Author Share Posted January 21, 2014 I'm not insinuating that you are purposely doing things to hurt anyone. However, given your post history, you are repeatedly doing things that are really offputting (and creepy) to the women you are interacting with. If you take a social etiquette class (or even hire a dating coach), an objective third party may be able to assist you with identifying what you can do differently. You just seem really socially awkward, and that is not going to help your situation. Uh...can u give me 3 really good examples of what I already did that was so so off putting to u & other girls please? Not the facebook thing 'cause I just got very desperate for affection & forked out some $$ on cheap girls but I wont be doing that any more I don't think. Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted January 21, 2014 Share Posted January 21, 2014 Uh...can u give me 3 really good examples of what I already did that was so so off putting to u & other girls please? Not the facebook thing 'cause I just got very desperate for affection & forked out some $$ on cheap girls but I wont be doing that any more I don't think. I think "out of etiquette" is a bit harsh. But searching in places like Starbucks, train stations or any other place which generally sound like "I gotta hurry so I gotta get my stuff together quickly" might not be the very best place to search. Most people don't expect being talked to in these places, they have their own business in their minds etc. Being the "shopping to relax"-sort of girl I went out to test it myself. Got a hotel in Frankfurt and went a few hundred miles away from my home all by my own to see if it had some effect, but as a matter of fact, while many looked at me and "checked me out", nobody dared to talk to me. Some were even staring when a guy asked me for directions, it was pretty hilarious from my perspective. Found no new contacts but new stuff made me happy enough I suppose, though I got to admit that I'm not in a hurry at all. Just be glad nobody asked you "Why don't you have a boyfriend?" (or in your case girlfriend). Both times it was a man of high age (not trying to flirt with me, more the "c'mon, enjoy your life"-type of guys who probably would have loved to tell me their lifestory), the second time a few guys were around and all staring at me, felt embarassed. Link to post Share on other sites
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