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My last relationship definitely ended abruptly and extremely painfully but I've decided that leaving my current area, where I have nothing to tie me down, and moving to a big city is the best thing. I'm originally from a big city and living in a rural area has always depressed me. If I'm able to find a part time job within the next month I'm good to go. I have the State Police Academy coming up in a few months so I need to recover and move on. The hardest thing is honestly being single again after spending so much time around that one person and suddenly it's all over. My worst fears became true and I've gone from being nearly dead for three days to picking myself up again.

 

I always see her face when I look at the snow, remember the small things that made me love her so much, the letter she wrote me for Christmas, all the good times we had and the feeling of being loved by someone. It's like there is a massive void in my life right now and the sun stopped shining. I know that it was the right decision to do and that it was never going to work out realistically in the long term. Even without her habits and past her plans and lifestyle were completely different from mine. We wanted to live together eventually and we could see that a marriage might work out. But all of that is out the window.

 

I have honestly, at no point in my life albeit young life, loved someone or been loved like that. It gave me a taste of what I could have and it did teach me a lot of important lessons but it's still brutal. I hate living where I'm at now because it reminds me so much of her, of the depression before her and all of the good and bad times I've had. On the drive back I went from being alright, feeling like I could get through this, to pure hell as soon as I saw the mountains in the distance. How can I help this process along? What can I do to stop ruminating so much and heal?

 

Edit: Breakup post

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/456069-sudden-hard-breakup-after-six-months

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