Reconciliation

[BHA]

ive been seeing my ex lately, we broke up, but agreed to be friends, and anyway it escalated. we have been kissing, having sex, acting kind of like a couple, but not really. she dumped me due to just wanting to be alone, and was a bit unsure of her feelings. this came from me being clingy, needy, controlling and just not being myself, the man she fell in love with!the thing is i know what i done wrong, and i know how to fix it but i dont want to say it to her and try to convince her as that will push her away. we have been spending a fair bit of time together lately and its been nice, but i still feel her being a little cold and distance. she says she wants to marry me someday and have kids, but says maybe we need to go our seperate ways for now. my point is, how do i get her to warm up to me again? she seems a little scared to open up to me. she said we are friends for now and lets see what happens. i have become a better person since the break up i know that much. i just want her to see it and i think she is to a certain extent. im afraid if i lose her, she'll be gone for good. i know deep down she is the one. she even says it herself, she has alot going on with college exams etc, so maybe i just need to give it time? i dont know. someone please give me advice to get her to warm up to me

[ponchsox]

You cannot "get her to warm up to you." Only she can want to be with you. Wither accept her as a friend or move on. Don't waste your time waiting for her.

[BHA]

i cant move on, because i know this girl is for me, i messed up and i wont rest until i make it up to her, she's worth waiting for! im looking for advice to get her back, please dont comment telling me to move on!

[BDL]

When I girl is unsure or confused about her feelings, it always invariably means she has started developing feelings for someone else. If you feel that trying to warm her up to you will push her away, your only course of action is to give her "alone" time and distance. That means you need to start the process of moving on from her.

[BHA]

there is no other man involved. not one, and i have proof of that. yes at the moment she likes being alone so im giving her alot of alone time and distance, any advice for helping the warming up process when i spend time with her?

[single-boy-2k14]

Bro. She made her mind up. If she wanted kids and a future with you she wouldnt of dumped you. Just accept it and she aint the only girl in the world. As said if she wants to be friends accept that. But you both fooling about with each other only complicates things..

 

you better off alone than in a complicated relationship. Hearts always get broken

[BHA]

can everyone stop telling me to move on, all i want is some sort of advice to get her back, not advice on moving on. she still loves me i know feelings are there, so please just advice on getting her back or say nothing. thanks.

[single-boy-2k14]

We not telling you what todo we are giving advice. From the story you told us thats what member advice you with from experiance

anyway....

 

if she wants space let her have it & wait untii SHE CONTACT YOU.

 

if she wants spend a day out together. Take her a special place fill with good memories of you to ( a place where u when on ur 1st date)

 

Sweep her off her feet. Treat her like a princess and Listen to what she says then reply.

 

And this time be yourself. An no silly moves remember you aint together yet

 

tha any help?

[ithappenedagain]

If you want to get her back then just give her what she is asking for. If she needs space, give it to her. You know? She left you for a reason. Accept it, and MAYBE just maybe something good will come out of it??

 

Just tell her that you are going to respect her feelings and give her space. I would also tell her that your feelings are involved so she cant be throwing mixed signals at you.

 

I would go No Contact if I were you.

 

She will run back to you if she really does want you back.

[deathandtaxes]

can everyone stop telling me to move on, all i want is some sort of advice to get her back, not advice on moving on. she still loves me i know feelings are there, so please just advice on getting her back or say nothing. thanks.

 

 

 

You can be immature and reject a lot of the wisdom on this forum or you can live in your pristine little world where you're waiting for the one response that you're looking for. You won't find it here. You're being played, son. She's just using you to fill a need. You two broke up. She doesn't want a commitment. Why torture yourself in the meantime? She is most likely waiting for something better (to her at least) to come along to commit to. When that day comes, you will wish you had listened to people on this forum and let her go now.

[Never Again]

can everyone stop telling me to move on, all i want is some sort of advice to get her back, not advice on moving on. she still loves me i know feelings are there, so please just advice on getting her back or say nothing. thanks.

 

If there was foolproof advice to get an ex back, do you think any of us would be here?

 

You cannot do anything to get her back. If you two will every get back together, it'll be because you left her alone and she came back all on her own.

 

Any honestly, you need to move on. Right now you're obsessing and in pain, and even if she wanted you back, she'd never get back with you in the start you're in. What you're experiencing and the way you're acting is, I guarantee, the opposite of attractive.

 

Leave her alone, completely. Disappear. Become YOU again. If she notices and comes back, then great. If not, then it won't matter.

 

I say this as someone who screwed up BIG TIME and never got the girl back. Life put me through the wringer and I just wasn't myself...I became boring, and she lost interest in a matter of weeks. That's just how it works. People get bored and lose interest quickly nowadays, and there's really no way to "respark" that unless they decide to put the effort in without any coaxing from your side.

 

The only chance you have for yourself, is to vanish and get over it. Sorry.

[melell]

As a girl I can say when I am unsure of my feelings it never has to do with meeting/talking to someone else.

 

More importantly, it has everything to do with how much I like someone. Anytime I have loved someone, I have never doubted being with that person. I have doubted what I am doing in the situation in general, I have doubted what they are doing etc etc, but never doubted being with them.

 

My advice; stay far far away from this.

[lauri]

I'm really sorry you are going through this.

 

Normally when a girl is confused it is because she has low interest level in you. By your continuing to hang to with her and talk to her, pretty much you are telling her it is OKAY that she broke up with you and she can have you as her safety net.

 

I hate to say it dude, but you sound like you are the ultimate anti-challenge for her and you didnt / dont have self control which is key to turning her off (being posessive, clingy etc are all weak traits that turn off a girl). Bad news is girls never forget these things..its memorized and locked away in her memory forever.

 

I know you are in denial but the more you stick around and keep being there for her I can promise you that you will drop her interest level so low that you will never ever be able to raise it back up to the point where she loves you again.

 

 

You should have the confidence in yourself to say okay, no problem i can find another girl...dont make the mistake of believing she is the one because the one wouldnt string you along and there would be no doubts or heart break. Sure she says she can marry you in the future...but think about it man...does that even make sense? She broke up with you because she isn't into you anymore but will be in the future?

[flight E]

Pls listen to the advice giving or you will only make a fool of yourself at great expense. You ONLY chance of making any sort of impression on this girl is to let her go. There is nothing like the one. It's only in your mind. If she dies today, you will still find someone else to call the one after a while. You will push this girl away finally and blame her for being a bitch. Leave her alone. Be yourself for yourself. Don't try to make her warm up or warm down. just leave her alone and any time she comes around be yourself. Getting over her is the only chance you have of getting her back. Refuse the wisdom at ur own peril

[flight E]

And stop being so rude to people that have no agenda. We are just giving you simple advice. We don't know you so our advice is objective. Pls follow it for your own gud. Try anything else and I can stake my life on it that you will fail

[Simon Phoenix]

can everyone stop telling me to move on, all i want is some sort of advice to get her back, not advice on moving on. she still loves me i know feelings are there, so please just advice on getting her back or say nothing. thanks.

 

Acting like a petulant child isn't going to get you anywhere. People are giving you the proper advice. There's nothing you can do to "warm her up". She has to do that via her own free will. The only thing you can do is make her not want to consider doing anything with you. And if you act like a baby around her like you have acted to posters on this forum, that's exactly what's going to go down.

 

So stop whining, stop being a prick to posters, relax and know that there's nothing you can do right now. Give her space, work on yourself and go from there. But lose the "angry 5-year-old at Toys R Us" act.

[StyleOnEm]

It's counter-intuitive but the best way to get her back is to let her start missing you, and you do that by being a little distant from her. Don't always be available when she texts/calls/needs you.

 

Good luck.

[BC1980]

There's nothing more unattractive than waiting around for someone. Trust me, she knows she has you right where she wants you.

[BHA]

apologies for acting like a 5 year old. im not exactly where she wants me as i have been talking about other girls, and i can see her getting very jealous, so she knows i wont be waiting for her! as for her, we have been meeting up and its been nice, she brought up that she knows we will end up together whenever that may be. for now i get the feeling she is just seeing how its going, if it keeps going well, i think she will want to give it another go! i have been happy and cheerful and really myself around her and i think its paying off. going nc with this girl will completely shatter any chances we have of getting back together.

[894hjk]

The best way to get someone back when they want space is to not contact them and get on with your exciting busy life and make sure she sees that is what u r doing. She will soon want to be a part of your life then. Show her u can live without her.

 

At the moment u sound like a desperate puppy clinging on and waiting for her-she will sense this and know she can do as she pleases.

 

B confident and break away to get her back.

[BHA]

The best way to get someone back when they want space is to not contact them and get on with your exciting busy life and make sure she sees that is what u r doing. She will soon want to be a part of your life then. Show her u can live without her.

 

At the moment u sound like a desperate puppy clinging on and waiting for her-she will sense this and know she can do as she pleases.

 

B confident and break away to get her back.

 

i dont contact her, she contacts me and i dont reply all the time, im not always there when she pleases.

[Simon Phoenix]

apologies for acting like a 5 year old. im not exactly where she wants me as i have been talking about other girls, and i can see her getting very jealous, so she knows i wont be waiting for her! as for her, we have been meeting up and its been nice, she brought up that she knows we will end up together whenever that may be. for now i get the feeling she is just seeing how its going, if it keeps going well, i think she will want to give it another go! i have been happy and cheerful and really myself around her and i think its paying off. going nc with this girl will completely shatter any chances we have of getting back together.

 

This is the 100 percent wrong approach, but you don't seem to be ready to listen, so good luck. Hope it turns out in your favor, though the deck is stacked against you.

[flight E]

Pls tink for a moment if u have this all wrapped up, why are you here. You see the reason you are here is because you are scared of losing her and despite your facade, she will see it. Women have a sixth sense for things like this. Don't try anything to get her back. Infact from now on, censure your actions by asking yourself am I doing this because of her. Would I have done this if I was not trying to get back with her? If you can't answer that you would have done it if you were not trying to get back with her, then don't do it. Most importantly be completely honest about this to yourself

[BHA]

Pls tink for a moment if u have this all wrapped up, why are you here. You see the reason you are here is because you are scared of losing her and despite your facade, she will see it. Women have a sixth sense for things like this. Don't try anything to get her back. Infact from now on, censure your actions by asking yourself am I doing this because of her. Would I have done this if I was not trying to get back with her? If you can't answer that you would have done it if you were not trying to get back with her, then don't do it. Most importantly be completely honest about this to yourself

 

i just came on here to look for advice and reassurance i suppose. i understand. im not going to see her now for a 10 days so during that time im leaving it up to her to contact me and to she if she misses me.

[deathandtaxes]

OP, ignore our advice as you like. You will be the one coming back heartbroken because you couldn't cut the ties. You broke up. Why continue to torture yourself being with her in a fashion other than her bf?