Spotting a woman on POF and on Facebook

[irc333]

This is interesting, as with most men on Plenty of Fish or any dating site, they send out their emails only for most of them never get answered.

 

I recently saw one of these women show up in my Facebook feed with "Tagged" photos. Apparently, one of my friends was a "Mutual" friend of hers as well.

 

Considering that dating site inboxes probably inundate her daily inbox a lot, and it's easy for it to get overlooked....would striking up a conversation via Facebook kind of bypass that?

 

Would it be considered creepy? It's pretty tempting. lol...but figured since she just "popped up" in such a fashion, thought it might be worth a shot. Also, she's pretty darned cute. But I don't know if some women would be keen on being noticed in BOTH places.

[Teraskas]

Actually, now that you mention it...I have done something along those lines in the past.

Not quite the same, but I noticed someone on FB who also liked the 'Starbucks Antwerp page'.

I recognized her from a dating site. A cute (and damn good) looking Russian lady born here.

I added her via FB request and we got talking.

She seemed to enjoy the attention, though when I brought up the topic of the dating site, she said she wasn't interested in anything atm.

 

So, either way it's a double edged sword. Like anything, striking up a conversation this way CAN work, but it's not a guarantee.

Edited January 19, 2014 by Teraskas
Typo's and other shennannigans

[irc333]

Yeah, I'm actually spotting the same people on POF AND Meetup. Friend of mine advised NOT mentioning (at the Meetup venue), "Oh, hey, by the way, aren't you on POF?"

 

Just curious, when you first saw her on a dating site, did you attempt to contact her there...with no response, only to have spotted her on the Starbucks site?

 

I think some people aren't keen on being pointed out in both venues. It may creep them out, yes?

 

At this time, and being that it's 2014, there's no getting away with not being spotted EVERYWHERE online.

 

It's getting to be a small world.

 

 

 

Actually, now that you mention it...I have done something along those lines in the past.

Not quite the same, but I noticed someone on FB who also liked the 'Starbucks Antwerp page'.

I recognized her from a dating site. A cute (and damn good) looking Russian lady born here.

I added her via FB request and we got talking.

She seemed to enjoy the attention, though when I brought up the topic of the dating site, she said she wasn't interested in anything atm.

 

So, either way it's a double edged sword. Like anything, striking up a conversation this way CAN work, but it's not a guarantee.

[xxoo]

Try friending her on FB, and making conversation from there. But DO NOT bring up her online profile. since you didn't meet her through the dating service, there is no need to mention it.

[irc333]

Try friending her on FB, and making conversation from there. But DO NOT bring up her online profile. since you didn't meet her through the dating service, there is no need to mention it.

 

Well, I had emailed her before through the online site (only for it to not get answered), not sure if she'd remember me though.

[Teraskas]

Yeah, I'm actually spotting the same people on POF AND Meetup. Friend of mine advised NOT mentioning (at the Meetup venue), "Oh, hey, by the way, aren't you on POF?"

 

Just curious, when you first saw her on a dating site, did you attempt to contact her there...with no response, only to have spotted her on the Starbucks site?

 

I think some people aren't keen on being pointed out in both venues. It may creep them out, yes?

 

At this time, and being that it's 2014, there's no getting away with not being spotted EVERYWHERE online.

 

It's getting to be a small world.

 

Hmm, I'll have to keep that in mind for meetup events, should they ever take place around here.

 

I initially sent her a message on said site, but a week or so later I still didn't get a response.

Then one day I noticed a reply in my inbox but it was a lame automatically generated messages along the lines of 'Hi there x. Thank you for visiting my profile. Regards, Y'. After that, I gave up hope of things progressing beyond that point.

 

It was only because I'd been thinking of my last visit to Starbucks which at that time had been close to a year or so.

(Because it's located in Antwerp's central station and I rarely am in that neighbourhood as the college I attend is on the other side of town)

Then I remembered I was subscribed to their FB page newsfeed.

I don't know how it happened but in a twist of fate's irony, she was listed in the preview of 'Other people subscribed to this page', and thus having caught my eye. If it wasn't for that, I probably wouldn't have noticed her at all.

 

I don't know, I think it differs for each person as to how they would react to being pointed out in both venues.

Personally, I would mind. On the contrary, I'd be like 'OMG, I finally got noticed for once!' lol.

 

Agreed, with all our information being correlated and quantified, there is no place to hide anymore in the online environment.

I'm kinda guilty of semi-stalking on that front, I usually try to search for their FB profile.

(For more pictures incase they've only uploaded 1 of themselves on the dating site, as well as additional 'common interests' in terms of movies, music, etc. so I can get a follow up message ready in case they reply.)

[irc333]

Cool, you live in Belgium! Nice, I was wondering why you mentioned "Antwerp" so I Googled it, are you stationed, out there temporarily or a resident native?

 

I bet "semi-stalking" isn't taken all too seriously with women out there, here they make a big deal out of it. I'm guessing women aren't easily creeped out oversease (just a guess).

 

Yeah, but you can't help it but to "semi-stalk" considering single people are always the same "pack of people" online. And I'm referring to a series of counties, (not just my own city) that I'm seeing these people pop-up.

 

I was a Meetup bonfire where these two women were looking at their Iphones, they had their POF App up and they were discussing who had emailed them . LOL

 

There's no more, "Pay no attention to the MAN behind the curtain" anymore.

 

Anyhow, specifically, I have 3 mutual friendships that I share with this one, and shes' actually an ex-wife of someone I used to hang out with over a decade ago. Actually recall seeing her on Yahoo personals back in the '90's. lol. She's still going at it, strong in this backwater town.

 

Anyhow, turns out she had a picture taken with a Princess Leah model at some kind of photo op. I'm in the "Geeky" niche' and well, somehow the model who I follow (is a married woman, real cute daughter....they had a pic of both her and her daughter in an old-school, red female Star Trek uniform. Looked like her and "Mini-me". Apparently, it was an event meant for cosplayers, amateur photographers, models, both male and female.

 

My guess she was trying to land a male model, unfortunately, I know a lot of said cosplayer models, they're all married. LOL

 

Apparently, the said woman on POF pasted a photo with her and the model at the photo shoot and saw her pop up in my feed.

 

She had a comment about how pretty she was to the model, felt like adding a comment flirting with the single lady in question saying, "Wouldn't mind seeing you in the Slave Leah outfit." ;-) lol

 

 

Hmm, I'll have to keep that in mind for meetup events, should they ever take place around here.

 

I initially sent her a message on said site, but a week or so later I still didn't get a response.

Then one day I noticed a reply in my inbox but it was a lame automatically generated messages along the lines of 'Hi there x. Thank you for visiting my profile. Regards, Y'. After that, I gave up hope of things progressing beyond that point.

 

It was only because I'd been thinking of my last visit to Starbucks which at that time had been close to a year or so.

(Because it's located in Antwerp's central station and I rarely am in that neighbourhood as the college I attend is on the other side of town)

Then I remembered I was subscribed to their FB page newsfeed.

I don't know how it happened but in a twist of fate's irony, she was listed in the preview of 'Other people subscribed to this page', and thus having caught my eye. If it wasn't for that, I probably wouldn't have noticed her at all.

 

I don't know, I think it differs for each person as to how they would react to being pointed out in both venues.

Personally, I would mind. On the contrary, I'd be like 'OMG, I finally got noticed for once!' lol.

 

Agreed, with all our information being correlated and quantified, there is no place to hide anymore in the online environment.

I'm kinda guilty of semi-stalking on that front, I usually try to search for their FB profile.

(For more pictures incase they've only uploaded 1 of themselves on the dating site, as well as additional 'common interests' in terms of movies, music, etc. so I can get a follow up message ready in case they reply.)

Edited January 19, 2014 by irc333

[xxoo]

Well, I had emailed her before through the online site (only for it to not get answered), not sure if she'd remember me though.

 

Go ahead and try again through FB, but don't mention OLD at all. Bringing up her OLD profile just adds instant awkwardness, for no good reason.

 

This is just as true at meet ups. If you recognize her from her OLD profile, don't use that as a way to approach. It could easily make her feel uncomfortable. Just approach her the old fashioned way, and try to make her comfortable.

[irc333]

I don't know, I think it differs for each person as to how they would react to being pointed out in both venues.

Personally, I would mind. On the contrary, I'd be like 'OMG, I finally got noticed for once!' lol.

 

From a guy they aren't attracted to: "Ew...creepy stalker, how did HE find me? He must've been creepin' my page! Eew!"

 

From a guy she is attracted to: "He's yummy, I hope he asks me out!"

 

LOL

[Art_Critic]

Try friending her on FB, and making conversation from there. But DO NOT bring up her online profile. since you didn't meet her through the dating service, there is no need to mention it.

 

I agree.. go ahead and try friending her, if she never accepts then there is your answer... or send her a message on FB mentioning your friend in common and go from there.

[irc333]

I'm actually kind of surprised she doesn't attend Meetup events, I think she's a member of the Meetup site, but never became much of an attendee of those events.

 

To note, most of the people in our Meetup events are of "average looking" caliber appearance-wise, so perhaps that's why she doesn't attend. More of cruising the "beautiful people" section of the community and checking out a modeling event was the way to go.

 

Just a theory though.

[Teraskas]

Cool, you live in Belgium! Nice, I was wondering why you mentioned "Antwerp" so I Googled it, are you stationed, out there temporarily or a resident native?

 

I bet "semi-stalking" isn't taken all too seriously with women out there, here they make a big deal out of it. I'm guessing women aren't easily creeped out oversease (just a guess).

 

Yeah, but you can't help it but to "semi-stalk" considering single people are always the same "pack of people" online. And I'm referring to a series of counties, (not just my own city) that I'm seeing these people pop-up.

 

I was a Meetup bonfire where these two women were looking at their Iphones, they had their POF App up and they were discussing who had emailed them . LOL

 

There's no more, "Pay no attention to the MAN behind the curtain" anymore.

 

Anyhow, specifically, I have 3 mutual friendships that I share with this one, and shes' actually an ex-wife of someone I used to hang out with over a decade ago. Actually recall seeing her on Yahoo personals back in the '90's. lol. She's still going at it, strong in this backwater town.

 

Anyhow, turns out she had a picture taken with a Princess Leah model at some kind of photo op. I'm in the "Geeky" niche' and well, somehow the model who I follow (is a married woman, real cute daughter....they had a pic of both her and her daughter in an old-school, red female Star Trek uniform. Looked like her and "Mini-me". Apparently, it was an event meant for cosplayers, amateur photographers, models, both male and female.

 

My guess she was trying to land a male model, unfortunately, I know a lot of said cosplayer models, they're all married. LOL

 

Apparently, the said woman on POF pasted a photo with her and the model at the photo shoot and saw her pop up in my feed.

 

She had a comment about how pretty she was to the model, felt like adding a comment flirting with the single lady in question saying, "Wouldn't mind seeing you in the Slave Leah outfit." ;-) lol

 

Yeah, I subconsciously mentioned it once or twice along the way, lol. ^^

I'm a resident native, born and raised here.

 

Although ironically, I speak British English as it's the norm in University over here, heh.

It's funny when I talk to other students in English.

Beings that I don't speak with a typical 'Belgian accent' and that my natural level of English knowledge is higher than that of my peers, people automatically assume I'm English lol. Regardless, I love it. (It certainly fits with my gentlemanly nature. )

 

The semi-stalking I mentioned was only successful twice or so when the subsequent conversations lead to a real 'date'.

Other than that, I usually compared how active they were there compared to the dating site.

Sometimes sent a friend request hoping to get something going, but more often than not shot down. :/

 

Oh the good old days of Yahoo personals and Myspace, how the scene has evolved since then.

 

Truth told, the cosplay scene sounds interesting.

It certainly intrigued me, but as you mentioned...most people (and most notably the women there) are all married.

 

Yeah, moments like those I really have to refrain myself from posting a comment.

My mind just screams: 'YOU CAN BE MY PRINCESS LEIA IN THAT OUTFIT EVERYDAY OF MY LIFE. I'LL BE YOUR HAN SOLO'.

 

But all in all, the women over here are more or less identical to those in Canada / America.

Although I'm noticing a steep increase in a sense of entitlement, carelessness, etc the last year and a half.

Much to the degree that it's becoming nauseating for an honest, bright, up front, 22 year old guy (who has already been through more pain than my peers, knows what he wants from life, knows who he is, and won't change) like myself who is actually INTERESTED in a relationship to find someone to reciprocate that.

I always have a way of running into women who want nothing more than fun, non-commitment in their lives...

Sometimes I'm really considering moving elsewhere, lol.

[irc333]

Going back to the "married models", their spouses were the photographers. LOL So it would get kind of embarassing when a man would flirt with the guys wife right in front of him. Of course, he wouldn't know she was married at the time.

 

Also, some women don't wear their wedding rings when cosplay modeling....it hinders the "illusion", apparently there's just something undesirable about a married Wonder Woman. lol

[MidwestUSA]

I would agree with messaging her on Facebook, without mentioning the OLD connection. At worst, she'll ignore it, and you're out nothing. My husband likes to say I Facebook stalked him, LOL, but it really started out as us liking a lot of the same posts (about music, a common interest) and then befriending. I pretty much use my case as a 'you never know' type of thing. Good luck.