Feeling crap again...ages on

[steveT95]

So we broke up at the end of last March. It was a horrible break-up that didn't go well at all although it was mutual. A lot of arguing and stress prior to and after if led to me being in a severe depression and close to taking my life. I was also very anxious and found it hard to do anything.

I saw two counsellors and got a lot of help. I healed almost. I had a lot of friends at college, more than ever and was confident and felt accepted for the first time in my life. I even wrote a success story on this site (which suspiciously got del

 

After christmas the atmosphere changed in college and people seemed a bit cold towards me, but in general no one was overly friendly to anyone. I felt down for the first week back but that's fairly standard.

 

But since last thursday night I've felt pretty lonely. I hate to say it but I've been missing my ex and feeling anxious about that again.

I was told by a friend on thursday that my ex wanted to be friends again but I feel she's done to much damage to be allowed back into my life.

 

I had a dream last night that I went to see her and we were just chatting and stuff and since then I've felt crap. Really missing the good times of the relationship (and they ended almost a year ago now.)

 

This has really knocked me. I was in such a good place I was unphased by things and had friends but now I've gone back to being really unhappy and pining for the relationship. I don't know why? And I don't know what to do? I was healed, but now I feel like the damage done runs a lot deeper. I feeling like I'm broken.