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Having a relationship break


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I'm taking her bits up today to London, I sent her a text yesterday informing her but didn't get a reply, it doesn't matter anyway, I'll be leaving her bits outside.

 

Taking my little boy with me for some moral support:P Glad I'm doing it, looking at the pile of her bits in my room has been horrible and I just want it gone.

 

Moved my room around yesterday and had a major cleaning session in the house, it's nice:) I don't want to tempt fate but I feel like I'm moving on.

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All done and back home, emailed her just after I left saying your bits are outside, she hasn't even the decency to say thanks or reply to me lol.

 

I suppose I'm being ignored which is fine.

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she replied said thanks.

 

Emailed me again asking if I want her to remove all my friends and family off Facebook.

 

I was like 'Yes Please'.

 

I expected some contact today I suppose so I'm kinda OK, had a bad few hours earlier but again I expected this.

 

Positivity breeds Positivity and I want to keep my mind on the goal, which is me:)

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wow it's been nearly 2 months since the break up and I haven't seen her for nearly 3 months after 'The Break', where has the time gone?

 

I actually had to work out how long it had been because I'm really starting to not really care anymore, don't get me wrong, I'm not cured yet lol but I feel like I'm really on the right track now.

 

Piled myself into work and have earn't a fortune this month:) Need to keep it up:)

 

A message to those newly broken up with, it does get better with time and you need to let yourself hurt, don't suppress it, it will just take longer to heal.

 

Life is actually quite good for me at the moment, I realised that the ex had put a big wedge between my son and me and since she's been gone we are so much closer:)

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  • 1 month later...
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somecamel

It's been 7 months since she broke my heart by meeting an ex boyfriend for the first time even though I found out she was meeting him and she denied it for months.

 

It's been 4 months since I last saw her and 3 months since we split.

 

Am I healed? Not yet.

 

Am I in a better place? I hope so

 

Do I still hurt? Every Day

 

In my search for closure I realised there is none and there never will be.

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  • 4 weeks later...
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Had a lovely holiday in Portugal, also had a few emails from her which I'm pleased to say I deleted.

 

I wanted to email her back just saying **** off but stopped myself, If I reply she will reply and it will go on and I just don't want that anymore.

 

I've also come to the realisation that I'm no where near ready for dating, met up with a girl Monday night but I just can't do it yet.

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I had a total of 3 emails in 2 weeks from her which i ignored up until Friday just gone.

 

Her last email was asking if I had rehomed the dog as she had seen that one of her friends had recently 'adopted' a dog that looked just like Gizmo, I smelt the BS straight away.

 

I sent a total a 3 emails over 2 days.

 

Friday 30th May 2014 (10.30am):- I still have Gizmo

 

(she opened the email but no reply)

 

Friday 30th May 2014 (11.30am):- Do you want him?

 

(No reply)

 

Saturday 31st May 2014

 

I'll take that as a no.

 

Our legal issues are now sorted and we really do not have anything else to talk about anymore.

 

I'll let you know when I've rehomed Gizmo so you can cancel the insurance.

 

Please stop emailing me. I'm trying to move on with my life.

 

(no reply).

 

It's been a few days and I've had nothing from her which is great.

 

The girl disgusts me now, anyone that can do what she done to someone they were meant to love does not deserve that persons time.

 

As the months have gone on, my rose tinted glasses have come off and I've seen her for who she was.

 

She was loving it during the good times when work was good and my son wasn't ill, but as soon as things made a turn down hill she ****ed off, lucky escape I think even though I feel like I wasted 7 years of my life on her, here's to experiences and making sure I don't make the same mistake again.

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  • 3 weeks later...
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Met a girl and met up for a quick drink tonight.

 

We kissed after.

 

Why do I feel guilty?

 

I suppose I kinda feel that now that because I've done it, it's brought some kind of finality to it.

 

I still can't stand the thought of her being with someone else and yes I know all I've done is kiss someone.

 

O well, onwards and upwards as they say, I'm not looking for a relationship but this girl has been a bit full on with lots and lots of text messages and being very excited, calling me absolutely gorgeous lol.

 

Should I be scared?

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  • 2 weeks later...
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had a few drinks tonight, Flatmate is away so first night on my own here kinda, (Dogs still here:P)

 

I sometimes worry that maybe I'm mental in the way that my mind has changed since the breakup.

 

I really do feel like I'm a different person now.

 

I was in such a rut with my life, negativity had taken over.

 

I still miss her and I wish that none of this had happened.

 

But it did.

 

There is no closure, there never will be. I don't want to see her or hear from her.

 

I shut myself off from her because I can't stand the thought of her being with someone else:(

 

I'm not going to contact her because I know it will not be what I want to hear, I just wish my heart would let her go:(

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Grrr the ex is pissing me off.

 

I still have the dog and despite my efforts to rehome him no one wants him!

 

I can't move on with life (move out) until he's gone so I'm kind of stuck here!

 

I emailed her saying I'm struggling to rehome him and she comes back all sarcastic, really ****ed me off.

 

Was a few emails which I've now deleted, she was obviously trying to put all the blame over to me AGAIN even though she was the one that ****ed off and left us.

 

Anyway, I've told her if I can't sort this by the end of August I'm going to bring him up to the University she works at in London and drop him off for her to deal with.

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Dude, get a handle on this. You sent her an email stating that you didn't want her to contact you ever again you can heal from this. And now your writing that YOU contacted HER about the dog?

 

 

Dude, you might be stuck with the dog, but here's the rub, the dog didn't cause any of this and is innocent. As a matter of fact, this dog has been with you through all of this BS and has done nothing but showed you unconditional love. So, maybe having the dog isn't such a bad thing?

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Smarty Pants
Grrr the ex is pissing me off.

 

I still have the dog and despite my efforts to rehome him no one wants him!

 

I can't move on with life (move out) until he's gone so I'm kind of stuck here!

 

I emailed her saying I'm struggling to rehome him and she comes back all sarcastic, really ****ed me off.

 

Was a few emails which I've now deleted, she was obviously trying to put all the blame over to me AGAIN even though she was the one that ****ed off and left us.

 

Anyway, I've told her if I can't sort this by the end of August I'm going to bring him up to the University she works at in London and drop him off for her to deal with.

 

Stop allowing her to piss you off. The dog is in your possession and you should take the initiative and deal with it without involving this girl.

 

Chi is right. You told her to not contact you. You shouldn't be contacted her because she clearly still gets a reaction out of you.

 

Stop contacting her and deal with the dog yourself.

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I know guys, was at my wits end after calling so many rescue places, it got the better of me.

 

I regret even contacting her now

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I would chalk it up as lessons learned, You aren't the first to break NC and you won't be the last. Just sucks to see you set yourself back in your healing for no good reason.

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Dude, get a handle on this. You sent her an email stating that you didn't want her to contact you ever again you can heal from this. And now your writing that YOU contacted HER about the dog?

 

 

Dude, you might be stuck with the dog, but here's the rub, the dog didn't cause any of this and is innocent. As a matter of fact, this dog has been with you through all of this BS and has done nothing but showed you unconditional love. So, maybe having the dog isn't such a bad thing?

 

I've thought long and hard about whether I keep him or not, from the outset I didn't want to keep him for the wrong reasons

 

I'm a much better person now than I was before, eyes wider open, I was in a bad place in my life.

 

He needs to go so I can move on. I work long hours, can sometimes be out for 14 hours so not fair on him to be left alone.

 

Thanks for the comments guys, it's been a journey so far, so glad I found this forum:)

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Not necessarily looking for advice but looks like I've sorted out the 'Re-homing' of the dog, there is a big but though.

 

He's going on the 30th of this month up to London Battersea dogs home.

 

Had a chat with them the other day and they've said that they will take him him in, do some behavioural tests which if he doesn't pass they will put him down. I have to pass over ownership before they do the tests.

 

I kind of know he won't pass them and it's so sad, I struggle to look at him at the moment because I feel so bad about it all but what other choice do I have, he has to go so I can move on.

 

The ex wanted to take him up there, (this was from the emails the other day) so I did send her a quick email with the details but I have omitted the grizzly part. If she knows this she would never put him in there.

 

She hasn't replied anyway and I'm not sending anything else to her if she doesn't. I'll just take him up and do the deed myself.

 

The dog as you guys are aware has been the final string between the ex and me, all the other issues were sorted some months ago.

 

I need to do this to be able to move on:(

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I don't know much of your story and sorry for what you are going through, but I am not sure how you could live with yourself if your dog got put down, so you can move on?

 

What if the dog doesn't pass the tests and then when you are totally over her, how will you feel about the whole situation then?

 

I am sorry, I don't get it at all that you would potentially let that happen unless financially, or realistically you are not able to keep the dog.

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I don't know much of your story and sorry for what you are going through, but I am not sure how you could live with yourself if your dog got put down, so you can move on?

 

What if the dog doesn't pass the tests and then when you are totally over her, how will you feel about the whole situation then?

 

I am sorry, I don't get it at all that you would potentially let that happen unless financially, or realistically you are not able to keep the dog.

 

Thanks for your thoughts.

 

I can't realistically keep him anymore. I've tried every other avenue without success.

 

It's really hard and it makes me feel sick but I can't do it anymore.

 

My only other option is to just drop him off up in London with her but she doesn't want him either.

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Had a strange day today, I'm not really feeling negative and am kind of keeping this as a positive.

 

My sons mum asked if I fancied going up to London with them today as my son wanted to go to Madam Tussauds, anyway, got told by a mate that MT isnt that good and to go to the Planetarium next door so we changed plans.

 

Anyway, I was looking last night on how to get the Planetarium and although I don't believe in God, I'm sure he hates me at the moment:P

 

The Planetarium had been moved over to Greenwich University which just happens to be the University my ex works at.

 

If I honest I wasn't OK about being there but told myself that I need to face up to my demons and If I'm honest even when I see London mentioned somewhere it's a trigger of mine to think of her.

 

But I done it anyway, had a nice day, walked back into Greenwich after and kind of hurried the others up to move onto some other part of London, I kept my eyes down when I was out and about as well.

 

London is a big place and as you can imagine being a sunday it was packed solid but I had entered 'her domain' so to speak so it was a bit tenuous of me.

 

Great news is, I didn't see her and I'm home now:)

 

Yey me

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redbaron005

 

He's going on the 30th of this month up to London Battersea dogs home.

 

Had a chat with them the other day and they've said that they will take him him in, do some behavioural tests which if he doesn't pass they will put him down. I have to pass over ownership before they do the tests.

 

I kind of know he won't pass them and it's so sad, I struggle to look at him at the moment because I feel so bad about it all but what other choice do I have, he has to go so I can move on.

 

That is a terrible animal policy, I would not turn the dog over the LB. Is there a humane society nearby that would take the dog in? I'm sure if you explained the situation to them, any SPCA type organization would be more than willing to.

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That is a terrible animal policy, I would not turn the dog over the LB. Is there a humane society nearby that would take the dog in? I'm sure if you explained the situation to them, any SPCA type organization would be more than willing to.

 

I haven't posted this but the dog situation has been sorted. My ex has arranged for him to go to some of her friends so no battersea.

 

I did try everything by the way, was in tears most of last week, couldn't even look at Gizmo because I felt so guilty.

 

I'm glad he's going to a good home:)

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  • 2 weeks later...
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Ok so Gizmo is going tomorrow, she'll be down at 6pm.

 

I've arranged for a friend to be here to do the handover.

 

So that's it, all it's nearly done and all nearly over.

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Gizzy (Dog) went yesterday, one of my friends took him outside for him to go back with his mum, I didn't see her.

 

I do feel a bit gutted but I know its for the best.

 

Went out last night as had been set up with a girl that one of my other friends knew. It went well, I stayed at hers but on the sofa:P

 

All of my friends keep on banging on to me about how I need to get laid but I'm not really that kind of person.

 

If I had of slept with her last night, that would have been it for me, I kind of have an unwritten rule that if I 'do it' on the first meet up I lose respect for the girl.

 

I quite like her, she's similar to me and has a bit of a crazy sense of humour as well.

 

I left early this morning whilst she was still in bed but have messaged her asking if she fancies a proper date sometime.

 

Maybe I'm ready to start moving on now?

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  • 3 weeks later...
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So it's been 4 weeks since Gizmo went and as a consequence 4 weeks since I properly started NC.

 

I've heard nothing from her regarding him so all I can do is assume he is ok.

 

I still think about her often but she doesn't control my thoughts like she used to.

 

I miss her or I miss what we had sometimes but more so recently I feel like I'm waking up to the truth of what our relationship was.

 

I'm moving this Friday out of this town to a town not that far away but a town that I have no memories of her with.

 

This is my new start, this is for me.

 

It's over 8 months since I last saw her, I haven't checked up on her at all because I know if I do I'll see something I don't want to see and set myself back.

 

I've started to laugh to myself sometimes when I see things that remind me of her, little nuances and even some of the painful stuff.

 

I think positive and positive things will happen.

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  • 3 weeks later...
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Been in my new place about a week and half now and really liking the change of scenery.

 

My heart jumped a bit the other day, monika opened up some emails that I had sent her back in February/March. I have a program on my gmail which shows me information on when people open my emails, I use it for work as it helps with sales etc.

 

Anyway, she done it again yesterday, I don't actually have the email anymore so can't see what I said in them but looking at the dates I think it was probably one of the ones where I told her to never contact me again.

 

I'm Ok but it does get my mind racing as to what she wants and why she's opening them after all this time.

 

I haven't heard from her since 26th July now.

 

I still miss her like crazy but am not going to reset my progress by contacting her.

 

Thanks for listening.

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