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Will I ever be able to reclaim these things as my own?


Hoosfoos

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I'm 2 months out of the worst breakup of my life. We had a very rich time together, doing many outdoor pursuits together. We did a lot of hiking and cycling together. These are things that I know that would be good for me to do to help me feel better physically. The problem is, I associate these activities so strongly to my ex that I just don't want to be reminded of her, which is still extremely painful. I don't want to go on the same hiking trails we used to go on. I don't want to ride my bike because she gave me the camelback for my birthday. I also don't really want to do these things alone because it will just make me sad. So what do I do? Do I look back at this as a chapter in my life consisting of activities that I will never return to? Will I eventually not care and be able to go hiking/cycling anywhere and anytime, without second thoughts? Why has this breakup taken away so many of my choices? Or is this just in my head?

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I also forgot to mention skiing. We both got passes for a local skihill and I have not gone there once for fear of running into her there.

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AS time passes, those things will remind you less of her.

 

 

For starters, do them places where you didn't go with her.

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London_girl_1985

I'm in a similar situation at the moment. I loved going to gigs with my ex and we had very similar music taste and there's so many songs/artists that remind me of him :(

 

I think avoiding things makes them worse in the long run though. One of my ex bf's used to live TWO DOORS DOWN from me ad it killed me to walk past his flat when he moved out. But obviously I had to do it. That was a year ago and now when I walk past that flat I don't think of him at all.

 

I'm actually worried because my most recent ex lives in a part of the city I rarely go to, so I know I will ALWAYS associate it with him, and it'll probably hurt/feel weird to go there even in 6 months time.

 

What I'm saying is, I think you should start doing these activities with someone else...a good friend who will understand if you start feeling down. Yeah it's gonna suck at first but it will get better! Go next weekend or whatever and accept you're gonna feel like crap the first few times. I guarantee in a few months you won't care.

 

I used to go to loads of gigs with my ex and instead of avoiding them I'm going to start going with friends :)

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