Mrs_S Posted January 20, 2014 Share Posted January 20, 2014 Hey all, let me tell you a little bit about my situation, I've currently been married for a year and half and I'm in the first trimester of pregnancy. I have always been really close with my hubby and never felt insecure or unloved in our relationship until now . This week I clicked on to YouTube on my iPad where my hubby was logged in and found a lot of porn videos or rude videos atleast! This hasn't bothered me before but recently he has been rejecting my advances, I confronted him about it when he got home from work and asked if he'd been doing it while I've been in the house and he promised me he hadn't and that it had only been last 2 weeksish. We talked it through made up and I didn't think anything more of it until I logged onto history of our computer to find details of a job I had a interview for that day and I found that there was a lot more and all the time he had done it when I've been in the house waiting in our bed for him and being rejected or when I've been downstairs watching tv and he was supposedly playing games. It had also been happening for a lot longer than 2 weeks. I felt betrayed as he had lied to me and sick to the stomach because he had been rejecting me to get off watching other women. I'm so heartbroken it's almost like being cheated on but with a seedy video on a PC! We have done nothing but talk about it he's tried to reassure me it's not going to happen again and that he loves me and wants me but even though we have been intimate since I feel like when we are I'm trying to live up to what he's been watching or doing things to stop him from feeling the need to stray to his computer! I am genuinely cut up because of this to the point where I want to check his internet history all the time and even when it's not deleted and there's nothing there I still think he is qualified enough to know how to remove just them few listing on the history so I know no different. I'm trying so hard to work out how I'm going to get past the pain and the hurt it's causing me and the trust issue it is causing between us but I just can't see how I'm going to get past it! I just want to feel happy, loved, wanted and secure with him again but now whenever he rejects me I'm going to wonder why! Link to post Share on other sites
Eivuwan Posted January 20, 2014 Share Posted January 20, 2014 I'm confused. Did he just started watching porn after you got pregnant or has he always been watching porn? Link to post Share on other sites
Solcita2 Posted January 20, 2014 Share Posted January 20, 2014 When did he become distance? After you got pregnant? Some guys get a hard time when their wifes get pregnant, even when they do want it, because the woman changes in front of their eyes without them being able to do anything.... maybe he's afraid he'd hurt the baby or something like that? In the other hand, I wouldn't judge the porn use... I just feel sorry that he can't share that with you... I would suggest Couple's Therapy? So in a neutral enviroment he can discuss what's been going on with his rejection and why the hidden porn use? Be careful of how you ask him about it, because you might make him shut down even farther... Link to post Share on other sites
SolG Posted January 20, 2014 Share Posted January 20, 2014 I'd like to know what 'rude' videos are too? :-/ When I was pregnant my then husband went off sex with me. I found being pregnant really sexy with the extra heat and hormones coursing through my body... But he found it difficult to reconcile seeing me as a soon to be mother with being a sexual being. He also had fears about becoming a father and some pretty silly ill founded assumptions about sex potentially hurting the baby. Put that all together and his attraction for me pretty much disappeared. It actually all came to a head when he came home early from work and caught me watching porn! (Back then it was porn on VCR... Really difficult to hide in a moment!) Anyway... We then talked about it. Both our perspectives. We didn't end up having lots of crazy pregnant sex, but we did understand exactly what was going on for each other. Hope you and yours can find a way to discuss openly and respectfully. Perhaps as other posters have suggested, a couples counsellor may help the process. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
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