shellso Posted January 12, 2005 Share Posted January 12, 2005 I've really wanted a tattoo on my lower back for years. I finally have my heart set on a design and he dose NOT want me to get this done. Keep in mind that I only have a really small rose on my ankle (not even 3inches) with my initials and he's got around 6+ of them...and big ones too! He's really pissed off that I would even think about getting one knowing how he feels about it. He actually said he'd leave me if I did....hightly doubtful but a threat none the less and I don't let ANYONE threaten me like that. About a year ago he said the same thing about it when I told him that I wanted a rose on my ankle...I got it the next day and now he likes it. So here's my question.....WHY?????? Is it a controling thing? Dose he want me to look/remain inocent in his eyes? I just don't get it. He said that I'm fine the way that I am and that tattoo's are for guys not girls. I want to respect him and everything but I've had my heart set on this and It's almost like he's not respecting me and saying that I cant do something that I really desire. Link to post Share on other sites
Fritz Posted January 12, 2005 Share Posted January 12, 2005 Well, sounds like he doesn't like them on women too much or perhaps the stigma that comes with lower back tats. I find it rather amusing since you say he has 6-8 tats himself. Ultimately, take his opinion into consideration but if you really really want one, its your choice. Link to post Share on other sites
Elmo Posted January 12, 2005 Share Posted January 12, 2005 I believe people when they make ultimatums. Someone that does not follow through with the ultimatum is usually a whiney crybaby. I wouldn't want to be with a whiney crybaby...but would think about being with someone that gives ultimatums. Link to post Share on other sites
hugznkisses21 Posted January 12, 2005 Share Posted January 12, 2005 My ex was like that and he was controlling..........i mean common........he is with u casue who u are adn cause he cares for you.............so getting tatto shouldnt effect how he feels about u ruight..............he has 6+...sounds to me he is a bit controlling Link to post Share on other sites
savethedrama4allama Posted January 12, 2005 Share Posted January 12, 2005 I think I'd go for the tat rather than remain with such a hypocrite. Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted January 12, 2005 Share Posted January 12, 2005 Location, location. Let's face it, he doesn't want everyone seeing it when you bend over...it draws attention. Can you blame him? Compromise and get it somewhere else and see how he changes his WHOLE attitude. Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted January 12, 2005 Share Posted January 12, 2005 This is a tough one.......I can understand both points. If he met you without any tattoos and that is something he just does not like then it can be a major let down for him but also it's your body, only you should decide what you want and what you don't want!!! I don't know how long have you been with him or hoe close you are to each other that's why it's a bit harder for me to tell what is best. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted January 12, 2005 Share Posted January 12, 2005 Which is more important to you; your bf's feelings or the tat? Find a compromise. Link to post Share on other sites
savethedrama4allama Posted January 12, 2005 Share Posted January 12, 2005 I think we all have opinions about our sig. other's bodies. Things we would or wouldn't like, perhaps wishing they'd work out more or dress differently. Having an opinion is a lot different than saying "no" and making ultimatums. End a perfectly good relationship over a tattoo? When he has 6 himself? Whoa! I can't help but think, what if the title of this thread were "He said he'd break it off with me if I didn't lose weight?!?" Or "He said he'd break it off with me if I dyed my hair blonde?!?" How would responses be different? Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted January 12, 2005 Share Posted January 12, 2005 What?! Yeah.. well while I can see that you didn't have any when you met him I'm also fairly sure there are things about you or him that have changed over time as well.. or if you stay together long enough will change.. what then? Getting a tattoo is a PERSONAL choice IMO... and you know I wonder how he would feel if you told him "Hey babe, ya know.. was just thinking.. You didn't have that 6th tat BEFORE I met you, and I'm not really feelin it so much... so yeah, if you want me to stay with you... get that b*tch lasered off mkay?" A tattoo isn't going to change the person YOU ARE... the same as if you were in an accident and it changed your outward appearance, you would still be you... So... IMO I couldn't be down for someone telling me that IF I do something I want to do (and it wasn't hurting him) that they were leaving me... Psssshhhh don't let the door hit ya where the Good Lord split ya... NEXT! Link to post Share on other sites
thebeesknees Posted January 12, 2005 Share Posted January 12, 2005 So he's saying he will break up with you if you get this tattoo? He is, of course, entitled to his own opinion, but if he wants to throw a relationship away over a little permanent ink then he was on his way out anyway. You should ask him what he is more interested in, you or the small bit of skin on your lower back. Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted January 12, 2005 Share Posted January 12, 2005 Yeah, he's just being a ninny~tit. Tell him to step the f*ck back....lol....yeah, what Merin said. Girl, you crack me up yo! Mmmmkay?! Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted January 12, 2005 Share Posted January 12, 2005 Originally posted by tiki Yeah, he's just being a ninny~tit. Tell him to step the f*ck back....lol....yeah, what Merin said. Girl, you crack me up yo! Mmmmkay?! Damn ****ers! Link to post Share on other sites
Author shellso Posted January 12, 2005 Author Share Posted January 12, 2005 You guys are awesome! And I understand what each of you are saying. I just want to point something out though... It's not like he dosen't like tattoo's on girls he just dosent want ME to get one. One of his friends girlfriend just got a pretty big one of her horse on her ankle and he thought it was the coolest thing. He also has mentioned how cool another girls tattoo is back in the summer and it was on her lower back. It's not a placement thing either. It just pisses me off that I "have' to get his approval. He know's how independent I am and if he's smart he'd better be prepairing himself for it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author shellso Posted January 12, 2005 Author Share Posted January 12, 2005 Originally posted by Elmo I believe people when they make ultimatums. Someone that does not follow through with the ultimatum is usually a whiney crybaby. I wouldn't want to be with a whiney crybaby...but would think about being with someone that gives ultimatums. Well, when we were first dating I told him that I was planning on getting a small rose on my ankle and he said the same thing about it........ so I got it the next day. Now it dosent even bother him. Link to post Share on other sites
Adunaphel Posted January 13, 2005 Share Posted January 13, 2005 Have you asked him to explain you why *exactly* he doesn't want _you_ to get a tattoo? Link to post Share on other sites
Spira Posted January 13, 2005 Share Posted January 13, 2005 LOL. My boyfriend suggested that he might break up with me if I got my lip peirced while we were arguing about it. He *really* didn't want me to get it done. (In fact, we had this same argument about me dying my hair blonde!) And, like Shellso said, it's not like he doesn't like peircings on women, it's just that he didn't want *me* to get one. So about three weeks ago I went ahead and did it anyway, and now he thinks it looks cute. Kind of interesting to read everyone's responses on this whole thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author shellso Posted January 14, 2005 Author Share Posted January 14, 2005 Yep! Same thing with my first tattoo! I honestly don't even know why I listen to him. Yesterday he didn't call me all day (he usually calls me twice a day...like clockwork) Then I found out he was at a titty bar with a bunch of his co-workers. Before I got home he took a shower and was sleeping (I got home at 6pm!!!) Today he's doing the same thing after all this "Sorry honey, you're right, It was rude not to call you" bull sh*t Link to post Share on other sites
Spira Posted January 14, 2005 Share Posted January 14, 2005 Since he doesn't have an issue with tattoo's on women, I think he'll come around to like it. So do it if it makes you happy. He can either take it or leave it, but he'll probably take it and see how silly he was being when he sees how beautiful your tattoo came out to be! I'd like to see a pic of it when (if) you get it done! What are you planning to get? Link to post Share on other sites
Author shellso Posted January 14, 2005 Author Share Posted January 14, 2005 he he he .... Last night I told him that I no longer wanted to get a tattoo. Instead I want to get that B*tch branded on me (just to freak him out)!!! He freaked out and then we *Compromised* on just getting a tattoo! It was SO funny! He said that he'd leave me if I got branded. Hummmm...haven't heard that before! I'm planning on getting two sparrows on my lower back. One a reflection or the other and facing away from each other with the tail feathers coming together in sort of a "V" shape. The two sparrows in this position kinda resembles a heart and I'm absolutely in love with this. I just need to find a good tattoo artist who can do some really good shading and draw it out for me. I've decided it's a control thing and frankly I don't give a damn. I'm getting it. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts