Done with Dating... for Good!!

[ZipperZapper]

Yesterday I had a date with a woman who hit me up on an online dating site about two weeks ago. That is to say, she found me, I didn't find her. It seemed to go OK, although she confessed she was quite nervous and told me not to mind her odd behaviour which consisted of a lot of terse replies and physically distant behaviour. I just chalked up the behaviour with needing time to warm up a little.

 

The weird thing is, we discovered that we come from the same hometown (but live in different cities now) and even went to the same schools, although our ages differ enough that we weren't in the same classes. She seemed like such a good prospect, not just because of a history we shared somewhat, and some common interests, but because she works in a government office, just like I do.

 

We couldn't go on our first date for a couple of weeks due to scheduling issues. In the interim we texted and chatted quite a bit via IM. She even got upset with me one day for waiting too long to text her back. I explained that I didn't want to appear clingy because we'd already chatted quite a bit. I also didn't want to burn out and run out of things to talk about before our date. With all the chatting going on, I really had good reason to think she was genuinely interested.

 

Just half an hour ago, she called me to say there wasn't going to be a second date. She went on to explain that she had been agonizing about telling me this - to the point of becoming physically ill. She tried to reassure me that I had said and done nothing wrong during our date or any other time since meeting online. But she just didn't feel any physical connection. All this after driving two hours to her city, driving two hours back and not getting home until 1 am, and dropping $35.00 on her dinner, which included a glass of wine.

 

Oh, I know what I did wrong. I was too short and fat for her liking and she didn't have the guts to tell me. Ergo, the emotional turmoil. Her sons are both six feet tall, and that leads me to suspect her ex was likely tall, so she probably wants someone tall-ish looking at a minimum. Unless she failed to read my profile properly, she would have known I was overweight and 5'7". She knows I have some health issues and I was totally upfront with her about that.

 

What terrible hypocrisy, considering that she's kinda average-looking herself, overweight, and about an inch shorter than me. Not exactly what anyone would consider top-drawer material. And I'm not saying I'm looking for anyone perfect.

 

I get the impression that my profile photos created an impression, an image in her mind that didn't materialize in reality. In short, not enough attractiveness or status on my part for her to dare presenting me to her peers and relatives. Yep, it's all about the money and status, honey!

 

So that said, I'm giving up dating for good. My experiences prove that I'm not meant to have a partner, to be happy, or to succeed. I'm simply not the kind of guy women want, i.e. perfect. And if I was a thug, a scumbag, a player, or a murderer in prison, I'd have no shortage of female attention. All I ever get for my pains is rejection, rejection, and more rejection. So why bother? **** it.

 

Congratulations, ladies! Another good man lost thanks to your selfishness, indecency, and unrealistic expectations and demands. Hope you're happy now while you search for your dream alpha male!

Edited January 20, 2014 by ZipperZapper
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[deathandtaxes]

It didn't work out. Don't beat yourself up over it. And don't put all your eggs in one basket. You should be trying to talk to multiple women at once. I have had numerous first dates that didn't lead to any second dates. And that's ok. They just see something that isn't quite compatible. And this is why I don't like to waste a lot of time chatting and conversing before meeting up, too.

 

 

I've cut it off with the ladies, too. But I usually will at least go on a second or third date to make sure of things. One date is usually not a good enough yardstick to go by.

 

 

I've been rejected a ton. But I don't take it personally. I pick myself up, wipe myself off, and keep on keeping on. You just need to do the same. Don't take it personally. It was just one date. I think you had too many expectations riding on it.

[Eggplant]

My suggestions:

 

1) Don't spend too much time texting before you've met.

2) Don't spend $35 on a first date. Meet casually first.

3) Don't let this lady affect your ego. She doesn't speak for all women.

[Leigh 87]

Yesterday I had a date with a woman who hit me up on an online dating site about two weeks ago. That is to say, she found me, I didn't find her. It seemed to go OK, although she confessed she was quite nervous and told me not to mind her odd behaviour which consisted of a lot of terse replies and physically distant behaviour. I just chalked up the behaviour with needing time to warm up a little.

 

The weird thing is, we discovered that we come from the same hometown (but live in different cities now) and even went to the same schools, although our ages differ enough that we weren't in the same classes. She seemed like such a good prospect, not just because of a history we shared somewhat, and some common interests, but because she works in a government office, just like I do.

 

We couldn't go on our first date for a couple of weeks due to scheduling issues. In the interim we texted and chatted quite a bit via IM. She even got upset with me one day for waiting too long to text her back. I explained that I didn't want to appear clingy because we'd already chatted quite a bit. I also didn't want to burn out and run out of things to talk about before our date. With all the chatting going on, I really had good reason to think she was genuinely interested.

 

Just half an hour ago, she called me to say there wasn't going to be a second date. She went on to explain that she had been agonizing about telling me this - to the point of becoming physically ill. She tried to reassure me that I had said and done nothing wrong during our date or any other time since meeting online. But she just didn't feel any physical connection. All this after driving two hours to her city, driving two hours back and not getting home until 1 am, and dropping $35.00 on her dinner, which included a glass of wine.

 

Oh, I know what I did wrong. I was too short and fat for her liking and she didn't have the guts to tell me. Ergo, the emotional turmoil. Her sons are both six feet tall, and that leads me to suspect her ex was likely tall, so she probably wants someone tall-ish looking at a minimum. Unless she failed to read my profile properly, she would have known I was overweight and 5'7". She knows I have some health issues and I was totally upfront with her about that.

 

What terrible hypocrisy, considering that she's kinda average-looking herself, overweight, and about an inch shorter than me. Not exactly what anyone would consider top-drawer material. And I'm not saying I'm looking for anyone perfect.

 

I get the impression that my profile photos created an impression, an image in her mind that didn't materialize in reality. In short, not enough attractiveness or status on my part for her to dare presenting me to her peers and relatives. Yep, it's all about the money and status, honey!

 

So that said, I'm giving up dating for good. My experiences prove that I'm not meant to have a partner, to be happy, or to succeed. I'm simply not the kind of guy women want, i.e. perfect. And if I was a thug, a scumbag, a player, or a murderer in prison, I'd have no shortage of female attention. All I ever get for my pains is rejection, rejection, and more rejection. So why bother? **** it.

 

Congratulations, ladies! Another good man lost thanks to your selfishness, indecency, and unrealistic expectations and demands. Hope you're happy now while you search for your dream alpha male!

 

 

Honey, don't despair!

 

 

I know I am not the best looking woman, and so I certainly don't demand " tall" and "good looking" men. I mean, I am not winning any beauty contests myself, so I sure as hell don't go after the "tall and desirable" men.

 

The thing is, I have had chemistry with overweight and shorter men. I frankly could not give a crap about looks, as if you open yourself up to a lot of prospects, you tend to find that you can have the hottest chemistry with UN conventionally good looking people!

 

Case in point; my boyfriend and I had great chemistry! He thought I was gorgeous even though I probably am not considered a babe to most men.

 

 

There are a lot of girls like me looking for guys like you, who simply have a job, can support themselves, and who are nice people; I'm adequately educated ( I am half way through my college degree, I got great marks to get into college), not overweight ( I am slender), and I am not offensive looking whatsoever. Just look at my pictures; I have straight teeth and nothing hideous looking....

 

Another poster on this site, Phoe, is gorgeous looking and she certainly wasn't looking for a tall, handsome or successful guy (by societies standards). She simply wanted a great guy who was crazy about her and didn't have any major issues; that could support himself financially.

 

 

 

NOT ALL women are like her! And besides, perhaps she WASN'T being shallow and she genuinely didn't feel any chemistry?

She should have told you right away that she was not into it, or perhaps she WAS somewhat but changed her mind (after trying to see if anything could be there).

 

Please don't give up on dating! You sound fine! Not all cute looking women care for men who are tall and have 6 packs.

Edited January 20, 2014 by Leigh 87

[Teraskas]

Sounds like pretty much every dating experience I've had thus far. :/

Except that mine always ended with the dreaded 'Let's just be friends' line.

I'm beginning to wonder if there are any women out there who are honest, up front and actually genuine in their search for something more.

It seems that they're all scared to take things a step further and only want to be friends as a result of it.

[notthathard]

Don't give up man! It's just too easy to give up.

 

Go to the gym and work off some of that weight off, it will be the best thing you will ever do for yourself.

 

In a couple of days I bet you will feel better. Use this experience to make you stronger and find that one your looking for. She's out there, there is someone for everyone.

[No Limit]

Her sons are both six feet tall, and that leads me to suspect her ex was likely tall, so she probably wants someone tall-ish looking at a minimum. Unless she failed to read my profile properly, she would have known I was overweight and 5'7". She knows I have some health issues and I was totally upfront with her about that.

 

This might seem off-topic, but don't judge genetics by the height of her sons.

I've finally gotten to 5'3'', while my father was near 6'7''.

 

I'm the smallest in my family though.

[BachelorofCNY]

Yesterday I had a date with a woman who hit me up on an online dating site about two weeks ago. That is to say, she found me, I didn't find her. It seemed to go OK, although she confessed she was quite nervous and told me not to mind her odd behaviour which consisted of a lot of terse replies and physically distant behaviour. I just chalked up the behaviour with needing time to warm up a little.

 

The weird thing is, we discovered that we come from the same hometown (but live in different cities now) and even went to the same schools, although our ages differ enough that we weren't in the same classes. She seemed like such a good prospect, not just because of a history we shared somewhat, and some common interests, but because she works in a government office, just like I do.

 

We couldn't go on our first date for a couple of weeks due to scheduling issues. In the interim we texted and chatted quite a bit via IM. She even got upset with me one day for waiting too long to text her back. I explained that I didn't want to appear clingy because we'd already chatted quite a bit. I also didn't want to burn out and run out of things to talk about before our date. With all the chatting going on, I really had good reason to think she was genuinely interested.

 

Just half an hour ago, she called me to say there wasn't going to be a second date. She went on to explain that she had been agonizing about telling me this - to the point of becoming physically ill. She tried to reassure me that I had said and done nothing wrong during our date or any other time since meeting online. But she just didn't feel any physical connection. All this after driving two hours to her city, driving two hours back and not getting home until 1 am, and dropping $35.00 on her dinner, which included a glass of wine.

 

Oh, I know what I did wrong. I was too short and fat for her liking and she didn't have the guts to tell me. Ergo, the emotional turmoil. Her sons are both six feet tall, and that leads me to suspect her ex was likely tall, so she probably wants someone tall-ish looking at a minimum. Unless she failed to read my profile properly, she would have known I was overweight and 5'7". She knows I have some health issues and I was totally upfront with her about that.

 

What terrible hypocrisy, considering that she's kinda average-looking herself, overweight, and about an inch shorter than me. Not exactly what anyone would consider top-drawer material. And I'm not saying I'm looking for anyone perfect.

 

I get the impression that my profile photos created an impression, an image in her mind that didn't materialize in reality. In short, not enough attractiveness or status on my part for her to dare presenting me to her peers and relatives. Yep, it's all about the money and status, honey!

 

So that said, I'm giving up dating for good. My experiences prove that I'm not meant to have a partner, to be happy, or to succeed. I'm simply not the kind of guy women want, i.e. perfect. And if I was a thug, a scumbag, a player, or a murderer in prison, I'd have no shortage of female attention. All I ever get for my pains is rejection, rejection, and more rejection. So why bother? **** it.

 

Congratulations, ladies! Another good man lost thanks to your selfishness, indecency, and unrealistic expectations and demands. Hope you're happy now while you search for your dream alpha male!

 

 

 

Wow, okay, it is your decision but for me, I am not giving up. Hey, I get a lot of rejections from women who are, in fact, shorter than I am and they say I am still too short for them. Their loss. My ex wife is same height as I am. And you know, it was easier for me to kiss her on the lips because if a shorter woman wanted to kiss me while standing, oh my neck! It hurts! So, please do not give up. There are plenty of fishes in the sea you can find one. Be patient. There is someone for you. No worries, ok?

[Confuddled1983]

I would consider myself to be fairly attractive, I have a decent enough body and get hit on quite a bit. I generally don't actually go for conventionally "good looking" men though. My exes come in all shapes and sizes and most actually have some character in their appearance, ie a crooked smile, a broken tooth, sticky out ears etc these are things I'm sure a lot of people would consider "flaws" but to me they are endearing little quirks that make me smile. The world would be a very boring place if we all looked the same.

 

This week I've had 3 different men hitting on me, not on a dating site just from going out for a drink and on Facebook. I've done nothing to encourage this at all but I am friendly and polite, now I have to agonize over some way of saying "I'm not interested" - this post and others like it are the very reason WHY it it is such a daunting task, no one likes being rejected and I sure don't like to be the one doing the rejecting either but if the chemistry isn't there then I'm not going to force it - I just hope they don't think I'm selfish, indecent, and have unrealistic expectations and demands.

[preraph]

Dating people you don't know is awkward, and most people really don't want to have to hurt someone's feelings. No need to get mad about it though. You went on a date. That's why people date, to see if there's anything there.

 

Maybe instead of meeting online people, spend more time doing the activities you most love and see if you meet a new group of people there and maybe you'll meet someone that way. Women truly cannot help who they think are attractive and who they don't. She must have thought you were okay looking to go out with you, and then felt no chemistry. She certainly didn't sound like much fun anyway. I suppose there's always a chance she's a meal whore and just dating for dinner. There is such a thing, but that's why most people just meet for coffee or a drink the first time.

[BJP56]

I dont exactly have a beach body either but, that doesnt stop me from looking. If people are that judgmental over looks they are not genuine or honest with themselves. Ive had girls with beach bodies come up to me and tell me I was hot.

 

I have used that as inspiration to motivate myself to shed my 320lbs figure. Im now down to 302 and counting. Im giving it until summer to see what happens.

[carhill]

I'm giving up dating for good. My experiences prove that I'm not meant to have a partner, to be happy, or to succeed. I'm simply not the kind of guy women want, i.e. perfect. And if I was a thug, a scumbag, a player, or a murderer in prison, I'd have no shortage of female attention. All I ever get for my pains is rejection, rejection, and more rejection. So why bother? **** it.

 

Heh, where's my Betamax to show my video journals of 30 years ago

 

Tip: With some exceptions, it's very common for women to make their mind up about you being physically unattractive to them in about ten seconds. This is why it rarely pays to build any rapport or intimacy *prior* to the first date, simply because all of that can evaporate if you don't pass muster on attractiveness.

 

I beat my head against the wall on that issue from around age 19 to age 30. After 30, it started to improve, though that was after dozens of rejections like the one you recounted here.

 

Overall, if you feel like you're done with dating for good, that's OK. Be done with it. I've done the gamut - dating, girlfriends, LTR's, being married and IMO there is no panacea. There's only life. I haven't dated since my divorce and don't miss it at all. Perhaps someday I'll find myself in a place that doesn't judge me in ten seconds and will feel differently. Perhaps not. Do what you do. Good luck.

[Mascara]

You're making a lot of assumptions about her reasons. If you talked such a lot before the date, I guarantee you that she would have scrutinised your pictures and height, and not found it to be a problem.

 

Out of all the dates I've been on, if I didn't want to take it any further it's never been because of suddenly not liking the height, or the body type (as long as they were honest).... and I've had dates with men 5'5" to 6'7". It's purely been down to not feeling that undefinable "something". Until you experience it yourself, it's impossible to describe.

 

Were your photos accurate? If so, it won't have been down to your physical appearance.

[TheBladeRunner]

I am taking a break from the dating because of the same frustration. It's tough these days, or at least it is for me. I will never go back to OLD again, too many bad experiences there. Maybe someday I can just meet someone IRL or through a friend. Take a break OP, it may do you some good.......I am 4 months date free and I have to say I don't miss it all that much.

[Targetlock]

giving up is all too easy, and all the best things in life take effort. you never know what might be around the next corner.

[ZipperZapper]

giving up is all too easy, and all the best things in life take effort. you never know what might be around the next corner.

 

Well, let's see now, I've been trying for the last seven years (since I broke up with my now ex-wife) to find a partner and have had no luck. I think I've tried just about everything. So, in your considered opinion, how many more rejections am I supposed to take before throwing in the towel? 500? 1000? A million? The same kind of logic says you're supposed to buy lottery tickets forever, because, you know, the big winning ticket could be just around the corner.

 

You're missing something here. Everything I've encountered in that time is telling me, in big capital letters, 'Some people are not meant to have a relationship with someone special. You're one of them.'

 

But I get it. You're one of those people who thinks love magically appears for people if they just stop looking for it. Or, 'there's someone for everyone'. Man, people with simplistic and facile non-solutions annoy the shyte out of me.

[Mascara]

Has there been any date you've had where you were not interested in seeing her again?

[ZipperZapper]

Honey, don't despair!

 

I know I am not the best looking woman, and so I certainly don't demand " tall" and "good looking" men. I mean, I am not winning any beauty contests myself, so I sure as hell don't go after the "tall and desirable" men.

 

You're a rare bird, in that case.

 

The thing is, I have had chemistry with overweight and shorter men. I frankly could not give a crap about looks, as if you open yourself up to a lot of prospects, you tend to find that you can have the hottest chemistry with UN conventionally good looking people!

 

Case in point; my boyfriend and I had great chemistry! He thought I was gorgeous even though I probably am not considered a babe to most men.

Lucky you. You know that dating is a lot easier for women, right? If men had the same opportunities in this arena as women do, you'd see a lot less (and probably no bitching) from men on these forums about not being able to get dates, find partners, etc.

 

There are a lot of girls like me looking for guys like you, who simply have a job, can support themselves, and who are nice people; I'm adequately educated ( I am half way through my college degree, I got great marks to get into college), not overweight ( I am slender), and I am not offensive looking whatsoever. Just look at my pictures; I have straight teeth and nothing hideous looking....

Well, if there were indeed lots of girls like you looking for guys like me, then you and they are doing an awfully good job of hiding and making themselves unavailable.

 

Another poster on this site, Phoe, is gorgeous looking and she certainly wasn't looking for a tall, handsome or successful guy (by societies standards). She simply wanted a great guy who was crazy about her and didn't have any major issues; that could support himself financially.

Once again, dating is much easier for women than it is for men. Women seem to have all the options and all the choices, and I'll bet if I took a poll asking that very question, you'd see a lot of guys agreeing with me.

The interesting thing about the situation is that it wasn't nearly this difficult for our parents and grandparents 50 years ago. That's because neither sex exclusively had all the options, and people tended to be a lot more realistic about selecting partners.

 

Anybody who wanted a spouse or a partner could find one back then. It's not like today, where you have to move mountains and still have to depend on a huge amount of luck to succeed. The rule now is that women can have pretty much who they want if they apply themselves, while men have to take what they can get, if they can get anything at all. And if what I'm seeing from men on these forums is any indication, lots of men get nothing.

 

Why the good-looking women I routinely see on dating sites even need to use such sites is beyond me. Unless they're looking for money or perfection, that is. And that is usually the case.

 

NOT ALL women are like her! And besides, perhaps she WASN'T being shallow and she genuinely didn't feel any chemistry?

She should have told you right away that she was not into it, or perhaps she WAS somewhat but changed her mind (after trying to see if anything could be there).

Ah yes, the old NAWALT (Not All Women Are Like That) argument that surfaces whenever a man comes forward and dares to tell the truth about what women are really like! For what it's worth, I took a look at her online profile today just to see if I missed something that could have helped me avoid being rejected. Well, I discovered that her height requirement was 5'11" to 6'3". I'm 5'7" and didn't misrepresent my height. I don't recall seeing that the first time I looked at the profile, so it could have been an update. But still, it tells me that my lack of stature probably played a role in why I was rejected, if it wasn't the sole reason.

 

Please don't give up on dating! You sound fine! Not all cute looking women care for men who are tall and have 6 packs.

I've made up my mind, I'm done. If what you're saying is really true, then I'll believe it when I see it. So far, I'm not seeing it, and I doubt I ever will see it. Nobody seems to understand that some people are not meant to succeed in the relationships arena, and I'm one of them.

 

Come to think of it, I think I'm done with life too. It's not just this one rejection that has made me feel this way, it's the cumulative weight of all the rejections and lack of success I've had in pretty much every sphere of my life. At 51, my life is basically over anyway. Keep trying? What the hell for?

[Frank2thepoint]

There are a lot of girls like me looking for guys like you, who simply have a job, can support themselves, and who are nice people;

 

Hey oh, know any of these girls? Put in a good word for me

 

 

I'm adequately educated ( I am half way through my college degree, I got great marks to get into college), not overweight ( I am slender), and I am not offensive looking whatsoever. Just look at my pictures; I have straight teeth and nothing hideous looking....

 

You're beautiful. Your boyfriend is a lucky guy.

[Mascara]

I've just looked at some other posts you've made, and you've mentioned a couple of times that you think it's because you don't look as good in real life as in your photos.

 

This could be the biggest issue - you'll get some dates but they won't go any further if they feel misled. Get some accurate pictures up and that should resolve.

[Smthn_Like_Olivia]

Stop blaming your height and weight. If you disclosed all this in your profile and had updated accurate pics, then this should not be the reason.

 

Look, when I was still dating, I can't tell you how many guys I chatted with online that I thought I had a connection with. Good back and forth banter, etc. But when we met for the date, the chemistry was just not there. Nothing and nobody is guaranteed until you meet in person because physical, face-to-face interaction is a lot different than message chat.

 

I'm sorry that you haven't had much luck in dating, but please don't give up.

[InnocentMan]

Seeing too much of this crap lately. Whatever happened to trying to happy alone? You know this is what a woman may find most attractive, even if you do look like the grinch.

 

People like your good self may well find a woman, you will then no doubt fall apart if it doesn't last until your final breath. You, and many others are destined to travel the path of bitterness for eternity. Maybe you won't meet someone. It doesn't have to be the end of the world.

 

Blaming other people(women) for your own unhappiness, will leave you forever unsatisfied. Find a way to be content as an individual. Maybe then you will be ready to have another human to enhance your life.

 

Finding a relationship is no guarantee of happiness, especially when you consider this the most important thing of your existence.

[acrosstheuniverse]

Honestly, there have been loads of guys I've dated who have been physically attractive but I didn't feel the spark so I didn't go out with them again. It happens. I've had people not chase me up for a second date, too, and I'm an attractive female. Who knows what else is going on in the background of her life?

 

But the fact that she agonised over confessing to you that she didn't want to see you again tells me she knew it would be a huge blow to you. It shouldn't really have been that big a deal after one date. Maybe she freaked with the weight of expectation. After a single date it should be comfortable to say 'thanks for a great evening, I had fun but I don't see a romantic potential for us. All the best and good luck!' you know? She probably knew how invested you were, which is a real turn off that soon into dating somebody.

 

And your personality is giving off a bad vibe. You're clearly very sensitive and touchy about your ability to get women, and your appearance. Most women want a happy, fun, relaxed, stable guy, who they can trust to take a knock back. Not somebody that seems angry that this woman rejected you because after all, you drove to see her and spent money on a meal. Those things don't entitle you to her affections. If dropping that amount on a date bothers you, meet casually for coffee somewhere, and date within your own city.

[ZipperZapper]

Honestly, there have been loads of guys I've dated who have been physically attractive but I didn't feel the spark so I didn't go out with them again. It happens. I've had people not chase me up for a second date, too, and I'm an attractive female. Who knows what else is going on in the background of her life?

 

But the fact that she agonised over confessing to you that she didn't want to see you again tells me she knew it would be a huge blow to you. It shouldn't really have been that big a deal after one date. Maybe she freaked with the weight of expectation. After a single date it should be comfortable to say 'thanks for a great evening, I had fun but I don't see a romantic potential for us. All the best and good luck!' you know? She probably knew how invested you were, which is a real turn off that soon into dating somebody.

 

So this is all my fault, right?! It's kind of hard not to get invested when you spend almost two weeks chatting with and emailing someone you've met online. It's hard not to be left with the impression that the other party is invested too, especially if they get upset because you didn't text them for a day. It's hard not to believe that the other person is really, really interested in you with all that going on. Only to get cut off at the knees the day after the date and told you're being rejected because you lack some mysterious quality they're looking for. I think it would be fair to say I felt like I had been led on by the woman I met. And I think I'm justified in being upset.

 

And your personality is giving off a bad vibe. You're clearly very sensitive and touchy about your ability to get women, and your appearance. Most women want a happy, fun, relaxed, stable guy, who they can trust to take a knock back. Not somebody that seems angry that this woman rejected you because after all, you drove to see her and spent money on a meal. Those things don't entitle you to her affections. If dropping that amount on a date bothers you, meet casually for coffee somewhere, and date within your own city.

 

If you had experienced the level of difficulty I've had in the dating arena for my entire life, and you knew a good chunk of the difficulty was due to your looks and your ability to attract the opposite sex, I think you'd be sensitive and touchy too. Unfortunately, unattractive people like me don't get cut any slack from attractive people who are successful in the dating world. We're viewed as being the ones who are at fault for anything that goes wrong because we weren't blessed with the kind of looks that seem to be required for success.

[Targetlock]

Well, let's see now, I've been trying for the last seven years (since I broke up with my now ex-wife) to find a partner and have had no luck. I think I've tried just about everything. So, in your considered opinion, how many more rejections am I supposed to take before throwing in the towel? 500? 1000? A million? The same kind of logic says you're supposed to buy lottery tickets forever, because, you know, the big winning ticket could be just around the corner.

 

You're missing something here. Everything I've encountered in that time is telling me, in big capital letters, 'Some people are not meant to have a relationship with someone special. You're one of them.'

 

But I get it. You're one of those people who thinks love magically appears for people if they just stop looking for it. Or, 'there's someone for everyone'. Man, people with simplistic and facile non-solutions annoy the shyte out of me.

 

 

Actually for your information, i've had similar luck in my love life (haven't been on a date in almost four years, a lot of rejections, never had a serious relationship) but i could focus on the bad points and focus on the positives in my life and try and do something about it, if one thing doesn't work try something else. and yes i don't believe it will magically happen or that it will appear for people who will stop looking for it. i also don't like the saying 'good things happen to those who wait' i think quite often the opposite is true. but yes i won't give up trying, though some days that gets very hard i know. i was just trying to give you some positive encouragement and reinforcement but yeah i don't have an easy solution to the problem because i'm trying to find one for myself.