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not coping and it's only just starting


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I’m just a few months into a long distance relationship having been together for a year before that. At the moment we are only a few hours apart but as of next month we will be on different continents for over a year. I am absolutely in love with him and can see a future with him. With a few sacrifices that I am prepared to make, we will be able to be in the same place in just over a year. The problem is I am really struggling to cope with not seeing him. I have a history or depression and anxiety that has been better over the last few years. However over the last few weeks I have been feeling very anxious and I am starting to get quite down. I miss him and it hurts and that is with seeing him every weekend. I just don’t know how I will cope with the rest of the year. I really think this is worth it but I get lonely. It’s not during the day so it’s not like making more friends or doing more things will help. It’s at night that I get lonely and sad. I just don’t know what to do. The thought of breaking up with him has of course crossed my mind but I don’t want to and I imagine I’d just miss him more. I just don’t know how to cope.

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alpy, welcome to the boards.

 

I'm going through something simmilar, we were together 4 years (living together for 3 years or so) before i moved to the opposite side of the world.

 

Let me tell you, the first months are the hardest, so don't think just because it's just starting it should be easier... we broke up several times (like once per month) the first 6 months because it was too much... then when distance is your new reality it gets easier.

 

I'd suggest you to look around, read other people's story and you'll see that it is possible to have a LDR as long as you both are willing to make it work.

 

Communication, patiente and a lot of love is needed. But when you know it has an ending point, it's easier...

 

It will get better :)

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Why can't you meet when he's away for a year?

 

You need to be strong to be able to go one year or two without seeing your soulmate. People did that in the past (think of times of war, or people migrating to different countries alone before moving their whole family) and some still do it now. If you think ahead and want to spend the rest of your life with him, 12 months are nothing.

 

In his absence, you need to see him through webcam, have his smell with you (his clothes?), have voice talk. You'll miss touch and taste :) (well, maybe something can be done regarding taste, unfortunately nothing about touch yet).

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