Guidance/Inexperienced/ FZ

[FrostBlaze]

Idk if this is the right place or if anyone can actually help, but i have noone to go to or ask, i tried to avoid books and guide's as i believed it would all come natural...but recent failures have driven me here.

 

My issue is as follows, i lack in relationship experience, in fact i lack a lot of social skills i guess, i can't flirt well or be sexually appealing to women.(create tension).

I don't consider myself ugly, in fact i always get women to hit on me, and i have no problem getting women most of the time, the problem is in keeping them interested in me romantically. They are at first, for the 1-2 months till we get to know eachother better, then they lose interest and i end up in the FZ.

 

I know i have more of a friend like behavior, because i really can't flirt or do sexual stuff...idk what's wrong with me, so this is quite a issue.

 

As a mid 20's man, i have only had 3 girls to oficially date, all 3 of them never lasted more then 5 months. I have had numerous women hit on me, but lose interest sexually quick and end up FZ'ed. This inexperience of mine, has made me lose a woman i actually loved...it is why i am here.

 

Does flirting and all this come natural to people? I just can't i don't know.

In fact i FLIRT without knowing and create tension without knowing most often, i hear them say "you are gettin me horny" and i am like in my mind "idk what i just did" <-laughable ik.

But when i WANt to flirt, i fail, so i've lost a lot of confidence recently, but i am still pretty proud of myself n all that.

 

Even if i might get scorned and laughed at, someone available to share from their life experience? As to how to do all of this, or just any tip in general.

Few things about me.

I do tend to show to much affection, not clingy or needy, but i am a loving person.

Also i probably trust people to early on and reveal to much about myself, killing the mystery perhaps? ^^. Engage in to much trivial/small talk...like a friend would do, like i said i really suck at being more "enticing" or putting out my romantic intentions.

Edited January 20, 2014 by FrostBlaze

[d0nnivain]

I don't know why you thought it would come naturally. You said it yourself, flirting is a skill. Skills require practice. Yes some people have a better aptitude for flirting but there are techniques.

 

 

First, flirting is usually more for the beginning. It involves smiling, eye contact, hand holding . . . making the other person feel desirable. At 6 months in, you should be up to romance. Some of that can just be about setting: low lights, candles, soft music, alone time etc. Pay attention to the other person. Look in their eyes. Caress them.

 

 

Where exactly do you see your relationships going wrong? If it's something you are doing or not doing, perhaps we can help you over come the issue.

[FrostBlaze]

Like i mentioned, i see them going wrong about 2 month's in, when i am to friendly and trustfull of the person, and i act/talk to much like a friend without hinting to much at sexual stuff(wich in the end is the difference betwen a friend or relationship, right?)...maybe i am just real slow at it.

I do notice it myself, but if i try to show her i am interested i don't actually really know how in a subtle way and stuff, without saying it bluntly. "ey i like you, let's do that".

I ain't got game xD.

I initiate stuff like dates, let's go do that and that, but i almost never initiate sexual things, i'm just okay whenever she want's it. (i don't mean sex, i mean anything romantic in general)

It's not like i don't want TO, i just never initiate...i did notice that about me, probably because my lack of experience makes me slightly "afraid" of even trying.

IDK, confused myself.

[d0nnivain]

It's important to initiate. Nobody wants to be the only one doing it

 

 

Next relationship make a point to take her hand or arm when you walk. At the very least kiss her hello & good bye.

[FrostBlaze]

It's important to initiate. Nobody wants to be the only one doing it

 

 

Next relationship make a point to take her hand or arm when you walk. At the very least kiss her hello & good bye.

That's about all i did, i did initiate those, but that's it, a hug, rub, kiss.

Nothing really MORE then these little signs of affection.

 

I mean i am affectionate phisically, but not with words, when i converse. That's what i don't really know how to do.

You have to first make a woman like you with words right? Before you get to the touchy part.

I seem to do good with words at "first" that is how i meet them after all...or they just like how i look, but after that, not so much.

 

Eh god knows, i'm a just have to learn more until next time ^^.

Edited January 20, 2014 by FrostBlaze

[d0nnivain]

To be affectionate with words, pay her compliments:

 

 

You look beautiful.

 

 

That top color brings out your eyes.

 

 

You look sexy today.

 

 

I like that dress.

 

 

Are those new shoes?

 

Say things that show you are paying attention to her.

[smuggy95]

This completely me, only i'm older and a girl, who dates girls.

After a lot of talk with peers, you just have to go with it. A girl wants to see a guy overcome with desire for her. So if you even feel it for a second, just while walking, pull her back and kiss her. You don't have to say it with words, like 'me horny', but compliments and then a surprise kiss...and hopefully then things will just snowball naturally.

Again, that's just what i heard. I haven't gotten a chance to practice it yet. I actually freeze up when sexually things are mentioned, because i make an excellent friend, but haven't had any relationship experience either. So being a friend comes naturally.