My D Day is here...

[Spark1111]

Violet, 95% of BSs take back a WS after DDay.

 

Most marriages blow apart after DDAY, and it is directly related to how willing the WS is to telling the truth of the affair, being willing to go full press NC with the AP, and being to do whatever it takes to heal the BS.

 

The handling if the aftermath is MORE predictive of the ending of the relationship than the actual affair.

 

You have a small and short window of opportunity here to do the right thing for your H, whether you stay married or divorce.

 

Do the right thing.

 

Be courageous.

 

You will not regret it.....no matter what the final outcome of your marriage.

 

I wish this for you. Good luck.

 

I believe it came from Infidelity guru Dr. Shirley Glass who counseled 1000s of couples after betrayal.

 

If the WS was completely transparent, did not engage in lies of omission and was remorseful, she observed that 87 percent were still married 5 years later.

 

If not, then the stats dropped to around 50% at the five year mark.

[Lokahi117]

Yeah, I see both points too. Luckily I screamed loud enough that the car stopped, but it was pretty scary. The comment was just out of line. He said something like only stupid people leave the door open when there's a dog in the house. I know he didn't mean to hurt her. We are all close to our dog. So it would have been devastating if he would have been hit. My stepdaughter is not well emotionally. At the moment, she takes everything personal. She kept screaming, I know I'm stupid. It was just a mess.

 

This would honestly be the hardest part for me. Knowing that I had a hand in turning my love into someone who knows cares less, and hurts more. He will now be dealing with his own emotions regarding the cheating and will likely be much more short tempered with everyone. So now your choices are causing hurt in your stepdaughter too.

 

I often believe that people would not cheat if they could really feel the damage, not see the damage, but feel it, live it. Like in a dream, the kind where it goes on for a few weeks or longer so you actually believe it's your life. Only to wake up and realize it's not. And be the better for the glimpse.