underpants Posted January 21, 2014 Share Posted January 21, 2014 What are your plans? Happy together, finally free, or a continued despair of making it work? Discuss. Link to post Share on other sites
dichotomy Posted January 21, 2014 Share Posted January 21, 2014 (edited) There is a huge gap between my two kids (second marriage child), so this time will put me at early retirement age when my youngest is out to college (ya I know.... wow). So I expect alot will be changing for me and the marriage at this time. My needs or wants in the marriage then - will not be what I want or need right now. Hard to say though who I will be in 15 years, or my wife or the marriage. I suspect I will sad and happy to see my youngest off into the world (I have an older in college now). I do enjoy being a parent - it brings me a sense of satisfaction and making a difference. I know for sure I look forward to not working anymore, and just enjoying recreation or activities. I have older sisters - who had difficult long marriages. One told me she thought that she might end the marriage once the kids were out - but she got to that point, that age, that her needs or wants in the marriage, the reasons for staying committed changed and she stayed. Dependence, security, health, grand kids, ect... I sense some frustration still in her marriage - but less so then 15 years ago, or different, or maybe acceptance that its better to stay. Once you get to a certain age, marriage means something different. However, we also know more than one set of parents who had kids younger, suffered through the marriage - kids got out when they were in their 40's - and they decided to divorce and have their second "teenager/college life" - party, dating, sex, travel. People are living longer and healthier these days - and sometimes there is a second life after kids. Edited January 21, 2014 by dichotomy Link to post Share on other sites
cocorico Posted January 21, 2014 Share Posted January 21, 2014 What are your plans? Happy together, finally free, or a continued despair of making it work? Discuss. We are empty nesters and loving it! Our work allows us great flexibility so we travel on a whim, do as much together as we can, and generally just delight in being together. We can eat what we want to eat when we want to eat, listen to the music we enjoy, go out when we want and stay home when we want, organise the house as we want and have as many friends to stay as we can fit, behave as well or badly as we choose, haves ex on every surface of the house any time of the day or night with impunity, and just live our lives without having to worry about being on duty. Boy does it feel good! Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted January 21, 2014 Share Posted January 21, 2014 I intended to stay in my loveless hell of a marriage until our son was off to college, but eventually could take it no more and ended it. I only wish I'd done that sooner, as it was healthier for me, and for my son. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts