Author soothsayer5 Posted January 22, 2014 Author Share Posted January 22, 2014 @justwhoiam: First of all I thank you so much, for helping me this much. I didn't expected this much help from anyone. Really apprecciate your replies and time giving. You are absolutely right, that I can't control my feelings, and get too much emotional at everything regarding my gf. But since you guys are helping me, I feel like knowing the truth, that one day our relation might end. It's too hard for me to swallow this, but that is the reality I guess. I don't know why my mind is too childish, that I could've never thought of the things you said to exlain me about how I can control my anger. It was really helpful that I should start studying about my courses right away. I've been looking for jobs for the past two months. I got one job, but I've to start looking for a new one, to save money for meeting my gf the first time after we got together. I am talking to my gf right now with understandings, and maturity, and everything is now going so good just as I wanted. I THANK ALL OF YOU WHO HELPED ME AND CARED LIKE A BROTHER/SISTER. I'LL ALWAYS BE POSTING MY PROBLEMS HERE ON LOVESHACK.ORG , BECAUSE IT REALLY HELPS A LOT MORE THAN I COULD'VE IMAGINE YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST LOVE YOU ALL... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author soothsayer5 Posted January 22, 2014 Author Share Posted January 22, 2014 @justwhoiam: Yeah she's a second-degree cousin. And by saying "late", I meant that her father is not alive. Link to post Share on other sites
mano Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 great, glad to know you are doing better, time to focus on yourself, not just gf, be understanding n calm when you deal with her, you need to distract yourself, the more you focus on other things the more better you will feel and wont feel that desperate and always thinking about her. Make new friends, take up a new hobby, just make some changes, its might seem awkward, but very soon you will start feeling better, if she is focused on her stuff, why just sit around just thinkin n crying for her? Get serios, n goodluck, we are here for you. 'thora saa ignore karo khudi wo aap ko miss kare gi ' 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sidz Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 I thought this was a troll thread as well after reading the first post. I was appalled to hear about some of the ways you behaved and thought that it couldn't be real, hamzarana. But, it takes courage to be really honest and come here for some hard truth and advice. And you seem to have taken it pretty well. Good for you. I believe you will be better for seeking out hard truth for yourself, and you'll be better if you take some advice here, like working on yourself, which you seem interested to do. I'm also trying to gain knowledge in order to be smarter and have gone back to school, and I wish the same for you. Happy studies! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author soothsayer5 Posted January 26, 2014 Author Share Posted January 26, 2014 guys.. you all were so right about everything. I did the same, as you guys told me to do. I stopped thinking about her all the time. I got a job. I've changed a lot, more than I thought. this week was awesome, and a tension-free week. Ok i've still got one problem though, need a little help. I told my mom, that i want to visit my gf. She gave me permission. So i've been planning my visit to my gf. As you guys told me not to force her for sex, I stopped. And i was happy. but last night my gf discussed what we'll do when we meet up. so she said that we'll kiss. i said ok. after a few minutes she again said that she wants her body to be touched by my hands completely. And i was like, I just stopped thinking about this stuff. She's dragging me into all this. ok. then i said, that be straight forward, what you want me to do? she said i want you to touch my body, and just keep doing that. Then I went to a flashback where we decided to have sex, and discussed it every night. so i said to her, that if i touch your body, I wont be able to control myself, because i've never done that before. She kept dragging me by saying that we'll do this, and that. But then i got so confused about is she trying to play with my feelings or what. because she kept taking me to the imaginations, that we meet up, and have sex. i didn't wanted to have sex. but she first pulled me into all this, and told me, that we wont do it. i mean i really didn't knew what to do. so i first asked her that i want to have sex. then she kept sayng no, we can't do that etc so i then told her that now you've brought me into this, so i will have sex no matter what you say. this week was great for me. but last night she messed up again. please help. Link to post Share on other sites
mano Posted January 26, 2014 Share Posted January 26, 2014 just go meet her, make this meeting with her a memorable one, n be xtremely amazing. Kiss her, i wouldn't advise u to do smthing haraam like sex, esp looking at the fact that she stopped doing it according to her own will herself, what happend now? Now she wants you to take her virginity? Looking at your current condition of the relation, dont do it. She didnt care about your feeling erlier n stopped it, n nw she wants to do it? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author soothsayer5 Posted January 26, 2014 Author Share Posted January 26, 2014 Yeah I don't know why she keeps changing her mind whenever SHE wants. Well, I just told her recently, that I won't touch her body, I just want to hug her. I've never touched a girl in my life. Anyways. You helped me a lot mano. I really appreciate that. Plz always stay connected to this post. As you've helped me be a better person. WHenever I'll have any problem, I'll be asking you. P.S Can you tell me some sweet and cheap gifts for her? I've never given a gift to any girl before. U r a pakistani, and you might know better, what girls love to have as a gift. And do u know some romantic places in lahore? thank u so much. Link to post Share on other sites
mano Posted January 26, 2014 Share Posted January 26, 2014 thanks Hamza, we are all here for you, stay motivated, n keep workin on yourself. I am from khi so i dont know about the romantic placs in lahore, as for the gifts, my personal advice would be to give something that you have made yourself, like a cd of your songs, like u said u a guitarist, or maybe some sketches, in which she can see u have put your effort in. That apart you can also give some nice delicate ornament, maybe a bracelets or a ring. Goodluck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author soothsayer5 Posted January 26, 2014 Author Share Posted January 26, 2014 Thank you so much. Yeah that'll be great. Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted January 26, 2014 Share Posted January 26, 2014 last night my gf discussed what we'll do when we meet up. so she said that we'll kiss. i said ok. after a few minutes she again said that she wants her body to be touched by my hands completely. And i was like, I just stopped thinking about this stuff. She's dragging me into all this. ok. then i said, that be straight forward, what you want me to do? she said i want you to touch my body, and just keep doing that. Then I went to a flashback where we decided to have sex, and discussed it every night. so i said to her, that if i touch your body, I wont be able to control myself Touch her over her clothes. I'm wondering WHERE you could do that, in your hotel room? Is it appropriate that she's in your hotel room alone? 1) Don't put her in socially risky situations where she can be banned or something by her community 2) Love her (that also includes touching her, if possible, and done in a discreet way, where you are sure it's just the two of you and no one else will find out) 3) Don't undress her, if she does, leave. You can't deal with that right now, you'd end up having sex as for the gifts, my personal advice would be to give something that you have made yourself I agree with that. Girls always appreciate something made by hand. I don't agree with a ring, it's too much for now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author soothsayer5 Posted January 26, 2014 Author Share Posted January 26, 2014 Thank a lot. My gf asked me to touch her body over the clothes. But I refused. I told her that we'll see and let the things happen by itself. And yeah i'll leave if she asks for sex or start getting undressed. She wants me to be at her home for the whole day, as she's alone. Her mother and sister are away for work, leaving her alone. I am too afraid to go to her house, as there's a possibility of us getting caught by someone. But she's pretty sure that no one will ever get to know about this. So I've told my mom about it. Incase something goes wrong. Should I go to her house? There's no place to hide :/ Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted January 26, 2014 Share Posted January 26, 2014 So it's just for 1 day? You're not staying one night? I would guess a couple of days would be great. I'm not sure how safe her house is. Someone might come to check up on her. And there might be hidden cams. I wouldn't feel 100% safe. So maybe it's not a good idea. I guess if you have a car, you can find some place. Maybe. Regarding touching her over her clothes, I'm not sure how a boyfriend could go without it. I can't imagine it. It's the greatest way to show your love. And you can experience what the chemistry is like with her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mano Posted January 26, 2014 Share Posted January 26, 2014 look, i gotta warn you beforehand, make sure your mum knows that u will be goin to her place, n dont do the undressing n all, u will end up goin all the way, n that doesnt sound right for now. Try meeting her casually at some good peaceful place first. She is driven by emotions, later usually muslim girls end up regrettin all this n blame their bfs for taking their virginity, atleast wait till u both r engaged 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author soothsayer5 Posted January 26, 2014 Author Share Posted January 26, 2014 Well, she thinks that her house is 100% safe. But I am afraid. And I've never been in a relationship before, plus, I am too shy, so I don't really know, how it feels like to be around your loved one. Btw I'll be there for 5 -7 days. Link to post Share on other sites
mano Posted January 26, 2014 Share Posted January 26, 2014 i dont get it, she litrally stopped doin anything sexual, no pics n nudee skyping etc n now she wants to go all the way. Is her family liberal? Or your mum is okay with u going n spending time with her alone over there? Btw, soo glad n happy to see a man who wouldnt touch his girl himself even though she is willing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author soothsayer5 Posted January 26, 2014 Author Share Posted January 26, 2014 Yeah. I hope that everything goes well, just as clean as possible. Thank you for your Kind replies justwhoiam & mano. I'll be in touch with you both, as you both have helped me a lot Link to post Share on other sites
Author soothsayer5 Posted January 26, 2014 Author Share Posted January 26, 2014 Yeah my mom has seen me go crazy for my gf first. Now that I've changed a lot, and started to be responsible, so she's letting me go to meet her. My mom thinks that my gf changed me. But you guys are the real helpers. Who knows 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mano Posted January 26, 2014 Share Posted January 26, 2014 its good that your mother knows. It is quite risky, n she has changed you how? Link to post Share on other sites
Author soothsayer5 Posted January 27, 2014 Author Share Posted January 27, 2014 @mano: who are you asking about? my mom or my gf? Link to post Share on other sites
mano Posted January 27, 2014 Share Posted January 27, 2014 gf, anyway keep us updated how your meeting goes. Goodluck 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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