PapaLove Posted January 21, 2014 Share Posted January 21, 2014 Hello, I am in love with an amazing young woman, and we have been dating for almost 18 months. We have lived together the past 13 and now I am faced with a dilemma. She has HATED living in my home state for the past 18-19 months and began looking into getting work transfers about 6 months ago to no avail. I said that I was interested in moving as well. Suddenly a few weeks ago she got word that she could move to Denver, but it had to be by mid-February. She was very hesitant because of our relationship, but eventually accepted. This is her dream scenario in a place we always wanted to be. We love Denver and have traveled there recently, she gets to stay with a great job and move closer to her brother and a few good friends. I would be all set to go except for the fact that I have some hiccups preventing me from doing so right away. My son (not hers) came to live with us about 3 months ago, and I do not have custody or likely permission to move him out-of-state. I will be trying for custody in about 4 months, but cannot obviously move until then. We are planning on being together after I figure out this situation with my son. Ideally, both him and I would move out there to be with her. It is promising for all of us, the school districts for my son are great, the grad schools I am looking into are great, she has a great job, and I think it would all work out well. But I am nervous...I have never been in a long-distance relationship before, let alone a serious one. The good part is that in the best-case scenario we would only be apart for less than 6 months. The bad part, is we haven't even had more than a week apart since we started dating...and that was difficult. I also am a little unsure of what I would do if I am not awarded custody and permission to move my son with me. This whole moving issue has caused us great tension lately, and with only 3 weeks left, I am nervous that we will not leave on the best footing. I'm so scared to lose her, and I know she loves me dearly. But my insecurities are eating at me and I'm afraid that she will lose interest over the course of 5-6 months. I just want this all to work out, but don't know if my best interests lie with sticking with it or letting her go. I've heard so many negative opinions about LDR, mostly from people who have never been in one, or at least a successful one. Any tips or advice would be appreciated. Thank You Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted January 21, 2014 Share Posted January 21, 2014 Try to stay positive. 5 or 6 months can fly. It'll be hard, I'm not going to sugarcoat it for you, but in here there are people who have been in a LDR for years. So it is possible. Don't let negative people affect you, they don't know @!@! about LDRs anyway. How old is your son? How far are you from Denver now? Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted January 21, 2014 Share Posted January 21, 2014 Given that you have been together for 18 months, and the distance is only for 6 months with an almost definite end in sight, I think you'll be fine. Those are circumstances that many LDR couples on this board would kill for. How often will you two be able to visit? When I was in a LDR I found that looking forward to and planning visits really helped. If you can visit once every 1-2 months I daresay you'll breeze through it. Otherwise it will be a bit harder but still very possible. Link to post Share on other sites
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