MrTurk Posted January 21, 2014 Share Posted January 21, 2014 My pictures on my dating profile are very casual. One pic is me with some nice shorts and a nice tshirt. Two other pics are me with jeans and a tshirt, and jeans with a long sleeve casual shirt. I never dress up. I only have 1 suit which was bought to go to a funeral. I have only a handful of dress clothes(which I never wear). A woman told me to post a pic or two of me "dressed up". I understand why. Because women seem to put a lot of weight into an image of a man that is dressed nice. But if I "never" dress up or wear stuff like that in everyday life.....should I really project that image to a woman? Or will many of you tell me it doesnt matter.....all that matters is gaining her attention and getting my foot in the door? I think it would be no different than a woman posting some pics with makeup, but then you meet her, and find out she never wears makeup, and only did that for the pics. Link to post Share on other sites
lollipopspot Posted January 21, 2014 Share Posted January 21, 2014 But if I "never" dress up or wear stuff like that in everyday life.....should I really project that image to a woman? If that's never how you look, don't project that image on your profile. I would personally ignore that woman's advice. She might want someone who dresses up regularly - that's the guy she's looking for - and that's not you. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 21, 2014 Share Posted January 21, 2014 No you should be yourself. Be your best self but be yourself. I prefer men who wear suits & ties. I work in that world & want somebody compatible to me. My DH thinks he's casual if he's not wearing a tie. If you posted a pic of you in a suit & tie but the woman later found out it was from your cousin's wedding & that's the only time you put on a suit she should at least understand why the two of you were fighting because you were resisted her efforts to get you to dress more often. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 You should portray yourself as you are most of the time. It's curious that you say you 'never' wear dress clothes though. Not even talking about a suit here, even dress shirts and slacks? How old are you? And are you completely against going to anywhere nice - theatre, restaurants, etc - that would involve a dress shirt? Are all of your dates going to take place in the outdoors, or malls/movies, or casual cafes? That might be a bigger pitfall for you than your OLD pics, so you might want to think about it. Living in jeans 100% of the time is okay in college but when you're older, people tend to prefer a bit of diversity. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Eau Claire Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 I'm attracted to a well groomed, nicely dressed guy. If your profile is attracting the type of women you are interested in, then stick with it. Dress is a lot like speech. It is not so much portraying what we are like in most of our daily life but also what we are 'capable' of. One can be casual in speech and dress but is the man able to come across as well spoken or looking sharp when the occasion arises. Can he separate himself from the Bubbas? It's easier to go a notch down than a notch up. Perhaps there is a nice sweet woman who wants a man to take her to the theatre now and then ...or out to a special dinner....or accompany her to her company functions. Even though a man mostly wears clean decent casual clothes, is flexible and able to meet her needs? My boyfriend dresses up about once a month 'for me'...he makes the effort. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrTurk Posted January 22, 2014 Author Share Posted January 22, 2014 Perhaps there is a nice sweet woman who wants a man to take her to the theatre now and then ...or out to a special dinner....or accompany her to her company functions. Even though a man mostly wears clean decent casual clothes, is flexible and able to meet her needs? My boyfriend dresses up about once a month 'for me'...he makes the effort. Thats the difference between men and women though. A guy that sees an attractive woman, doesnt pre-judge her with a list 10 pages long. He doesnt look at her and think, jeez, she doesnt have a pic in a little black dress, what in the world is wrong with her? Guys take women on face value. If the guy likes how she looks, he takes it for granted that she is smart enough to know how to dress for certain occasions. But many women on the other hand, they over analyze guys when they look at them. They make wild assumptions that this guy is a better catch because he posted a pic in dress clothes vs the guys that only posted casual pics. A guy that dresses nice will always catch the eye of a woman.....but that doesnt mean a damn thing. Theres no proof that he can offer her anything better than any other guy. Women constantly whine and complain that she wants a guy to like her for who she is....not her body, or how she looks. Yet here we are again, with women pre-judging how a guy dresses. Isnt that a total contradiction? You should portray yourself as you are most of the time. It's curious that you say you 'never' wear dress clothes though. Not even talking about a suit here, even dress shirts and slacks? How old are you? And are you completely against going to anywhere nice - theatre, restaurants, etc - that would involve a dress shirt? Where am I going to go to dress up? I dont live in a metro area. I have never seen anyone "dressed up" when I go to the restaurants around here. Who dresses up to go to Chilis, Applebees, or a steakhouse? If there were nice places to go....why would I get all dressed up and go there by myself? I'm 43. Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 My pictures on my dating profile are very casual. One pic is me with some nice shorts and a nice tshirt. Two other pics are me with jeans and a tshirt, and jeans with a long sleeve casual shirt. I never dress up. I only have 1 suit which was bought to go to a funeral. I have only a handful of dress clothes(which I never wear). A woman told me to post a pic or two of me "dressed up". I understand why. Because women seem to put a lot of weight into an image of a man that is dressed nice. But if I "never" dress up or wear stuff like that in everyday life.....should I really project that image to a woman? Or will many of you tell me it doesnt matter.....all that matters is gaining her attention and getting my foot in the door? I think it would be no different than a woman posting some pics with makeup, but then you meet her, and find out she never wears makeup, and only did that for the pics. I believe in presenting who you actually are, a little bit polished up, but nevertheless not way outside of who you are. If I see a man in all suits and he never wears suits I will think he was deliberately being misleading. Although I'm not sure if "dress up" automatically means "suit", that's not what I think of anyway. There are ways to dress up as a man without wearing suits. I haven't seen your pics, so I don't know, but certainly there is a mid point between jeans and t-shirt and black tie. It also depends on how fashionable and put together you are, that adds to you looking dressed up without wearing a suit. If your clothes look old or sloppy or crushed you may look even more casual than you intend. In any case I wouldn't do anything way out of my comfort zone or that I felt was "put on" as I want people to message me based on a polished me, but a me that is nonetheless me, likewise I want to see a man who makes effort but not one whose profile is so far from his comfort zone as to be misleading. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 Since you understand that women may be judging you based on your wardrobe, why aggravate the situation just to prove you were right? Would it kill you to throw up a picture of you wearing nicer clothes? Your statement seems to indicate willingness to dress appropriately for the occasion but an acceptance that your life doesn't currently have many such occasions. I get the sense that if you were dating somebody & she wanted to go to a dressier event, you would go not whine & cry 'cause you had to wear a tie. So one non-jeans more than casual picture couldn't hurt. What have you go to lose? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 Every man should invest in a good quality blue wool blazer. Look on eBay for bargains. Then if needed, have it tailored to fit you perfectly. It will never go out of style. You can dress down with jeans or dress up with grey or khaki slacks. Classic style. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 Do you have something against looking as good as you possibly can ? Who cares if you aren't going to wear it out, if you look good you look good. My profile picture is me on my way to work. I don't dress like that when I'm just out and about, but thats how id look on a first date. Link to post Share on other sites
Eau Claire Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 When my guy dresses smartly for me he isn't 'faking who he is'...he is showing that that he is making an effort to make me feel special. I don't like pies but my guy does. I don't have to bake him a pie but I enjoy making him happy. He appreciates when I do something special for him. I suppose some people are content to be in a relationship with an attitude 'this is who I am...take it or leave it'. In contrast I prefer to be in one in which we actually feel good when we make an added effort. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jba10582 Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 tell the woman you're NOT looking for an interview because you already have a job. Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 tell the woman you're NOT looking for an interview because you already have a job. I could think of another job he might want. Two actually. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 A good friend of mine who has been widowed for some time decided to try OLD...He says that he got little to no action from the ad.. So he showed me the profile.... Several photos of him in the woods with the NASCAR baseball cap and full camo.......I just laughed and said "maybe Sarah Palin will give you a shot, but I hear she's taken".... I see his point..He likes to hunt and wants there to be no surprises..I know absolutely nothing about OLD or how that works, but thats the last thing I think I would project early on.. There's nothing wrong with someone that doesnt get dressed regularly showing themselves dressed up..In the case of the OP, maybe she just wanted to see if he would "clean up" well...*shrug* TFY 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 Where am I going to go to dress up? I dont live in a metro area. I have never seen anyone "dressed up" when I go to the restaurants around here. Who dresses up to go to Chilis, Applebees, or a steakhouse? If there were nice places to go....why would I get all dressed up and go there by myself? I'm 43. I was asking what you plan to do when you are on a date with a woman. Do people where you live genuinely never dress up, ever? I have been in small towns (some with pop <1000) and there is usually at least one or two places within a 30 minute drive where people go occasionally for romantic dinners and stuff. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 Ohhh blue wool blazer. (Shiver). I think that most of the women i have had relationships with have been similar in style to me. Jeans and trainers, couple of Fred perry and Lacoste tops. My GF wears whatever she like but matches trainers and and formal dresses which is so hipster at the moment. I have always worked in fashion so i love the mix and match. Formal non formal. Like DMs with a skirt. Thats pretty classic. But Mr Turk as for the dating sites i think you go for what YOU feel comfortable in and projects you. Just be clean cut. (Unless there is a beard thing going on!) Every man should invest in a good quality blue wool blazer. Look on eBay for bargains. Then if needed, have it tailored to fit you perfectly. It will never go out of style. You can dress down with jeans or dress up with grey or khaki slacks. Classic style. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 Thats the difference between men and women though. A guy that sees an attractive woman, doesnt pre-judge her with a list 10 pages long. He doesnt look at her and think, jeez, she doesnt have a pic in a little black dress, what in the world is wrong with her? Guys take women on face value. If the guy likes how she looks, he takes it for granted that she is smart enough to know how to dress for certain occasions. But many women on the other hand, they over analyze guys when they look at them. They make wild assumptions that this guy is a better catch because he posted a pic in dress clothes vs the guys that only posted casual pics. A guy that dresses nice will always catch the eye of a woman.....but that doesnt mean a damn thing. Theres no proof that he can offer her anything better than any other guy. Women constantly whine and complain that she wants a guy to like her for who she is....not her body, or how she looks. Yet here we are again, with women pre-judging how a guy dresses. Isnt that a total contradiction? Where am I going to go to dress up? I dont live in a metro area. I have never seen anyone "dressed up" when I go to the restaurants around here. Who dresses up to go to Chilis, Applebees, or a steakhouse? If there were nice places to go....why would I get all dressed up and go there by myself? I'm 43. Body language is still language, and women tend to read it better than men do. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 Every man should invest in a good quality blue wool blazer. Look on eBay for bargains. Then if needed, have it tailored to fit you perfectly. It will never go out of style. You can dress down with jeans or dress up with grey or khaki slacks. Classic style. Not being funny but this only applies to the over 50s. I'm 41 and even I wouldn't want a guy wear a blue blazer. Especially not with jeans. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
fujidabruin Posted January 23, 2014 Share Posted January 23, 2014 Every man should invest in a good quality blue wool blazer. Look on eBay for bargains. Then if needed, have it tailored to fit you perfectly. It will never go out of style. You can dress down with jeans or dress up with grey or khaki slacks. Classic style. EVERY MAN??? Are you serious? Did I miss the punchline somewhere on this post? I am not a fashionista, do not have an abundance of dressy clothes either, but a blue, wool blazer is about the last thing I would grab off the rack. In fact, many of my friends and family are professionals (doctors, lawyers, and such) and I have never seen any of them in wool blazers. Anyhow, I get the point about a "sharped-dressed man". No offense about the blazer thing 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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