Curious.. WHY are so many men players? What causes it? Whats the benefit?

[somedude81]

If all the women who are told 'I'm just not ready for a relationship' would just let go and move on, there would be a ****load less women complaining about so called players,..

Hah, I just got the most ridiculous thought.

 

Me meeting a girl, telling her, 'I'm just not ready for a relationship' (which is the truth), we still get together and have sex. Then down the line she wants to make things official and I tell her again that I'm not ready for a relationship and she calls me a player. Me? A player! LOL!

[GoreSP]

Hah, I just got the most ridiculous thought.

 

Me meeting a girl, telling her, 'I'm just not ready for a relationship' (which is the truth), we still get together and have sex. Then down the line she wants to make things official and I tell her again that I'm not ready for a relationship and she calls me a player. Me? A player! LOL!

 

You'd be amazed at how many times this happens.

[RedRobin]

She told me upfront that she only wants a casual relationship and she was the one who sort of came on to me. She is known for seeing a man she likes and going for it. I was her target at the time and before we started having sex we both said this would never be anything more than FWB.

 

When she started catching feelings and telling me she was starting to want more I cut off the whole thing right there. No more sleeping together or anything but she tried to play the victim and act like I misled her. Tell me where I was dishonest.

 

 

so, here's the problem... When I first meet a man who is interested in me, I tell them I need to get to know them as a person first before making a romantic decision. Of course, I wouldn't even be thinking about going on a date with them if they aren't interested in pursuing a LTR. In other words, they put on the show that they are looking for a relationship.

 

 

I've had one or two say they don't want to 'force' a relationship. Fine with me... just two people getting to know each other. I'm very happy that they aren't trying to 'force' me to make a romantic decision about them. Maybe I can relax for a change...

 

 

But no... Apparently, when I tell some of these guys 'friends first' they are either inserting or pushing for FWB first or something casual first (implying casual sex). Never mind that in the same conversation, I could be sharing my relationship history... that I'm looking for a committed relationship... blah blah. That's just noise to them.

 

 

I can practically set my watch to the inevitable movie/dinner invite at their house by the 3rd or 4th date.. if not sooner. 'Oh'... I'm thinking... 'whatever happened to the not forcing a relationship' stuff. And... 'did you hear me when I told you I need to get to know you first before making a romantic decision?'

 

 

Apparently not...

 

 

So yea, I'm skeptical of guys who claim they are upfront about what they really want. Maybe one time in my life since being divorced have I ever witnessed a man being truly upfront in a relationship context... and that is saying something since I'm around ALOT of men.

 

 

Most of the time it is BS. Most of the time they are doing like this other poster... claim they are looking for a relationship so they can get a chance to date me and other women like me. Or hearing what they want to hear and plowing forward, then making up their own stories after the fact.

 

 

I guess the solution is for women to treat them like little children? Or just accept that women can't believe a word that comes out of most single men's mouths. Is that it? I mean, at what point do some of you decide to grow a pair and be honest... even when it isn't in your favor.... because where I come from THAT is what makes a real man... not these guys who have to run around telling stories to get what they want.

 

When you were born and messed it all up by not being born the right gender.

 

Stop blaming others !!!

 

 

Right... if you have an outty, then you naturally are obliged to obfuscate and lie in order to get your needs met. I keep forgetting....

[RedRobin]

If all the women who are told 'I'm just not ready for a relationship' would just let go and move on, there would be a ****load less women complaining about so called players,..

 

Also, and this is not to be interpreted as slut shaming: It is well within our rights to sleep with a man whenever we want. However, if you are going to go and sleep with a man you've met less than a month ago, please accept that he may realize at some point you two are not a good match and it has nothing to do with using you for sex.

A lot of players are stuck with this 'title' because too many women who think sex means 'oh, we are in a relationship now!'

 

Feel free to use this text and switch 'women' into 'men' and 'men' into 'women' because it works just as well.

 

 

If she told him she didn't want to have sex until they were in an exclusive relationship, and he said he wasn't seeing anyone else, you could hardly blame her for making that assumption. He shouldn't sleep with her if her goals are obviously not the same as his... not just push and see what he can get away with. She's already stated her goals. He's a jerk if he doesn't respect them. He's a jerk if he claims after the fact that he wasn't looking for a relationship when she already stated her goals in advance.

 

 

She's NOT stupid for wanting to trust someone. I'm getting rather sick of having to be the one to use world class interrogation techniques on these a-holes. How about they exhibit a shred of integrity for a change... and just walk away if their goals don't align??

 

 

Also, when I was growing up... and before I was married, it definitely was the case that you were in a relationship by default if you were sleeping together... Guys that dumped a girl they were seeing shortly after sex absolutely were considered jerks.

 

 

it's jerks and players who basically made it necessary to call up an attorney to figure out the fine print on someone's intentions... or oblige women to make decent men jump through however many hoops to prove they mean what they say. It's not women's fault for trying to trust these men. They have nothing to be ashamed about if they have stated their goals, have taken a reasonable amount of time to get to know him, and he claims to be interested in her.

 

 

That's what people are supposed to do when they are sincerely looking for love... not spend their time worrying about whether the other person can be trusted with the simplest thing... like what their basic goals are.

Edited February 10, 2014 by RedRobin

[GoreSP]

If she told him she didn't want to have sex until they were in an exclusive relationship, and he said he wasn't seeing anyone else, you could hardly blame her for making that assumption. He shouldn't sleep with her if her goals are obviously not the same as his... not just push and see what he can get away with. She's already stated her goals. He's a jerk if he doesn't respect them. He's a jerk if he claims after the fact that he wasn't looking for a relationship when she already stated her goals in advance.

 

 

She's NOT stupid for wanting to trust someone. I'm getting rather sick of having to be the one to use world class interrogation techniques on these a-holes. How about they exhibit a shred of integrity for a change... and just walk away if their goals don't align??

 

 

Also, when I was growing up... and before I was married, it definitely was the case that you were in a relationship by default if you were sleeping together... Guys that dumped a girl they were seeing shortly after sex absolutely were considered jerks.

 

 

it's jerks and players who basically made it necessary to call up an attorney to figure out the fine print on someone's intentions... or oblige women to make decent men jump through however many hoops to prove they mean what they say. It's not women's fault for trying to trust these men. They have nothing to be ashamed about if they have stated their goals, have taken a reasonable amount of time to get to know him, and he claims to be interested in her.

 

 

That's what people are supposed to do when they are sincerely looking for love... not spend their time worrying about whether the other person can be trusted with the simplest thing... like what their basic goals are.

 

I get what you mean. What I mean is a lot of women start seeing a man, sleep with him and assume that now, they are in a relationship and when a few weeks later the man breaks up because he wasn't that into her, he becomes the player.

 

By all means, if you want to call a player a man who pretends to want to be in a relationship so a woman would sleep with him and then dumps her when he's had his fun, I will totally agree with you but that's not the situation I was referring to.

[Woggle]

If she told him she didn't want to have sex until they were in an exclusive relationship, and he said he wasn't seeing anyone else, you could hardly blame her for making that assumption. He shouldn't sleep with her if her goals are obviously not the same as his... not just push and see what he can get away with. She's already stated her goals. He's a jerk if he doesn't respect them. He's a jerk if he claims after the fact that he wasn't looking for a relationship when she already stated her goals in advance.

 

 

She's NOT stupid for wanting to trust someone. I'm getting rather sick of having to be the one to use world class interrogation techniques on these a-holes. How about they exhibit a shred of integrity for a change... and just walk away if their goals don't align??

 

 

Also, when I was growing up... and before I was married, it definitely was the case that you were in a relationship by default if you were sleeping together... Guys that dumped a girl they were seeing shortly after sex absolutely were considered jerks.

 

 

it's jerks and players who basically made it necessary to call up an attorney to figure out the fine print on someone's intentions... or oblige women to make decent men jump through however many hoops to prove they mean what they say. It's not women's fault for trying to trust these men. They have nothing to be ashamed about if they have stated their goals, have taken a reasonable amount of time to get to know him, and he claims to be interested in her.

 

 

That's what people are supposed to do when they are sincerely looking for love... not spend their time worrying about whether the other person can be trusted with the simplest thing... like what their basic goals are.

 

I agree with part of what you say but she approached me for a no strings attached relationship and got mad that I stuck to the rules. How was I wrong?

[GoreSP]

I agree with part of what you say but she approached me for a no strings attached relationship and got mad that I stuck to the rules. How was I wrong?

 

You were not.

 

But thanks for proving my point lol

[RedRobin]

I agree with part of what you say but she approached me for a no strings attached relationship and got mad that I stuck to the rules. How was I wrong?

 

 

Fine. I'll take your word for it... especially since you say you ended things after she started having feelings.

 

 

But, I'll still say I've almost never witnessed one of these guys be upfront with me or anyone else I know. Probably because me and my friends don't go in for casual sex.

 

 

It's much more likely for us to come across the guy who not honest about his goals or intentions... and who is also likely to be dating/sleeping with as many women as possible without their knowledge or trying to. And yes... the only way these guys get away with it is by lying. The perpetual opportunist...

[ThaWholigan]

Fine. I'll take your word for it... especially since you say you ended things after she started having feelings.

 

 

But, I'll still say I've almost never witnessed one of these guys be upfront with me or anyone else I know. Probably because me and my friends don't go in for casual sex.

 

 

It's much more likely for us to come across the guy who not honest about his goals or intentions... and who is also likely to be dating/sleeping with as many women as possible without their knowledge or trying to. And yes... the only way these guys get away with it is by lying. The perpetual opportunist...

I think it's because of your natural aversion to casual encounters of the sexual kind that you probably attract more opportunistic men looking for a challenge or at the very least a lay at first.

 

No wonder players come across as liars very often whenever you encounter them.

[RedRobin]

I especially like how some of you guys get your heart broken once and all of a sudden it becomes ok to start lying, manipulating, and doing whatever you feel like to women.

 

 

How weak is THAT??

[RedRobin]

I think it's because of your natural aversion to casual encounters of the sexual kind that you probably attract more opportunistic men looking for a challenge or at the very least a lay at first.

 

No wonder players come across as liars very often whenever you encounter them.

 

 

Well, according to people here, real players don't have to lie to get what they want... and I say, yes they do.

 

 

They ALL have to lie to even think about getting sex with a woman who isn't into casual sex. Either boldfaced or by omission. Which is my point exactly.

 

 

It's also my point that these men are usually pretty obvious to most people around them who spend any time with them... if people give those men cover, then they are an accessory in my book... and almost as bad as the player himself.

 

 

In other words, it's a big fat myth that these men are only having sex with women who knowingly go along with it. Those who actually believe that are either in denial or simply don't want to face their share of responsibility for making it possible for men who do this to exist....

 

 

...and in their denial, they've made it that much more difficult for the legitimate good men amongst them to find a loving partner because of the climate of distrust, betrayal, and lies they have helped to foster with their refusal to purge these scumbags from their social circle and willingness to overlook the damage their 'friends' are causing. God forbid these onlookers actually SAY anything to their 'friend' about who he is hurting. No... that would break the guy code, or whatever.

 

 

Of course, lots don't care. Deep down, they hate women almost as much as players. They probably get a sick sense of satisfaction when their 'friend' comes back with stories of his conquests and who he hurt this day, week, month. Or, they just don't ask too many questions when their 'friend' jokes about how some poor girl had whatever coming to her.

 

 

... or like this thread... all circle around with the 'likes' for those who gloat about getting what they want at someone else's expense.

Edited February 10, 2014 by RedRobin

[joystickd]

I especially like how some of you guys get your heart broken once and all of a sudden it becomes ok to start lying, manipulating, and doing whatever you feel like to women.

 

 

How weak is THAT??

Just like it's weak you get yours broken and all you can do is talk sh*t about men. The sh*tty vagina monologues.

How about the sense of I'm better than you because other women don't do your dating methods. Your a$$ is single and that shows how successful those methods are.

[joystickd]

Well, according to people here, real players don't have to lie to get what they want... and I say, yes they do.

 

 

They ALL have to lie to even think about getting sex with a woman who isn't into casual sex. Either boldfaced or by omission. Which is my point exactly.

 

 

It's also my point that these men are usually pretty obvious to most people around them who spend any time with them... if people give those men cover, then they are an accessory in my book... and almost as bad as the player himself.

 

 

In other words, it's a big fat myth that these men are only having sex with women who knowingly go along with it. Those who actually believe that are either in denial or simply don't want to face their share of responsibility for making it possible for men who do this to exist....

 

 

...and in their denial, they've made it that much more difficult for the legitimate good men amongst them to find a loving partner because of the climate of distrust, betrayal, and lies they have helped to foster with their refusal to purge these scumbags from their social circle and willingness to overlook the damage their 'friends' are causing. God forbid these onlookers actually SAY anything to their 'friend' about who he is hurting. No... that would break the guy code, or whatever.

 

 

Of course, lots don't care. Deep down, they hate women almost as much as players. They probably get a sick sense of satisfaction when their 'friend' comes back with stories of his conquests and who he hurt this day, week, month. Or, they just don't ask too many questions when their 'friend' jokes about how some poor girl had whatever coming to her.

 

 

... or like this thread... all circle around with the 'likes' for those who gloat about getting what they want at someone else's expense.

You really don't get it. Bitter women like you make it hard for good women to find men. Man meet bitter woman she hides what she really is and over time the man realizes she is broken and by the times he realizes she has hurt him. Then he goes out and does what you are describing. Just like you can't believe player don't like no one believes you are not bitter. It oozes out of every post on here.

[RedRobin]

Just like it's weak you get yours broken and all you can do is talk sh*t about men. The sh*tty vagina monologues.

How about the sense of I'm better than you because other women don't do your dating methods. Your a$$ is single and that shows how successful those methods are.

 

 

I talk sh*t about players and liars. Just like everyone should.

 

 

Not sure about other women. No women I know dates players.

 

 

As for me, I've already claimed my mistake in marrying my now ex-H. He had his share of casual sex before I met him... years later he cheated on me. So, I won't be making that mistake again... knowingly dating someone who has a history of casual sex, that is.

 

... and since you haven't been paying attention... I was engaged to a man I loved very much who I met after my divorce. He died suddenly a month after we were engaged...

 

 

...So it's not really all my fault I'm single.

 

 

Partly my fault for picking the crappy husband I did when I had the chance to find better... Partly bad luck.

 

 

It's not exactly like women over 30 something get the pick of the litter or anything. Mostly we're forced to sift through guys like my ex-H (cheaters)... or recovering alcoholics, addicts... and oh yes, players. VERY rare (at least around here) to find one who hasn't either screwed up his own life or some woman's... or actively trying to screw up women's lives so he can feel better about himself.

 

 

I'll tell you that no one was more surprised than me when I faced this dating pool. I'd been raised around very good men... and worked with a lot of great men. Still do. But there is a massive disconnect between THAT world, and the world that is occupied by a sizeable portion of available men around here.

 

So you are right. I'd rather be single than settle for that.

 

 

All that said, I think I've greatly overestimated my ability to continue living here and thrive emotionally... It has definitely taken it's toll. If it is even half as effed up around here as I describe it... then I need to just do whatever it takes to escape and find a healthier group of people.

Edited February 11, 2014 by RedRobin

[Woggle]

I especially like how some of you guys get your heart broken once and all of a sudden it becomes ok to start lying, manipulating, and doing whatever you feel like to women.

 

 

How weak is THAT??

 

Women do that too. Do you how many women I knew in my personal life told my ex was just giving me a taste of my own medicine simply because I am a man even though I never once cheated on or abused a woman. It's wrong either way.

[GoreSP]

Thing is Red Robin, it is your attitude that is pushung the good ones away.

 

They know they are good guys and it seems you are basically expecting to prove it to you before they are worth your time.

So they decide you aren't worth theirs.

 

It wouldn't to lower your defenses a bit.

 

Also there is no correlation between having casual sex and cheating.

[RedRobin]

Thing is Red Robin, it is your attitude that is pushung the good ones away.

 

They know they are good guys and it seems you are basically expecting to prove it to you before they are worth your time.

So they decide you aren't worth theirs.

 

It wouldn't to lower your defenses a bit.

 

Also there is no correlation between having casual sex and cheating.

 

 

I'm not effing every guy who comes along on the off-chance they are a 'good guy'...

 

 

A genuine 'good guy' is also careful.

 

 

... and yes, there is a correlation between those who have a lot of casual sex and inability to commit. If sleeping with someone is as easy as slipping into a pair of house slippers, then they can't really be trusted to control themselves or work things out when things get tough.

 

 

I suppose if the 'recovering' casual sex haver has done what it takes to assess their reasons for disconnecting sex and love... they MIGHT make a decent partner... but I still wouldn't take a chance on them... just like I wouldn't make a recovering alcoholic my first choice to take a ride home from after a night out on New Year's Eve.

 

 

Sorry... if you can't exhibit discretion before you are with someone... you can hardly expect me to believe that you can exhibit it after you are in a relationship.... Lots of things work that way. Should I also expect that a person who has a bankruptcy and up to their ears in debt will not have issues with money?? How about those who gamble? Should I give them my life savings to manage??

 

 

No? Then why should I believe that people who have lots of casual sex are a good bet for a partner? Especially a man who (I've learned as I've gotten older) usually have to lie or obfuscate to get it.

[joystickd]

I talk sh*t about players and liars. Just like everyone should.

 

 

Not sure about other women. No women I know dates players.

 

 

As for me, I've already claimed my mistake in marrying my now ex-H. He had his share of casual sex before I met him... years later he cheated on me. So, I won't be making that mistake again... knowingly dating someone who has a history of casual sex, that is.

 

... and since you haven't been paying attention... I was engaged to a man I loved very much who I met after my divorce. He died suddenly a month after we were engaged...

 

 

...So it's not really all my fault I'm single.

 

 

Partly my fault for picking the crappy husband I did when I had the chance to find better... Partly bad luck.

 

 

It's not exactly like women over 30 something get the pick of the litter or anything. Mostly we're forced to sift through guys like my ex-H (cheaters)... or recovering alcoholics, addicts... and oh yes, players. VERY rare (at least around here) to find one who hasn't either screwed up his own life or some woman's... or actively trying to screw up women's lives so he can feel better about himself.

 

 

I'll tell you that no one was more surprised than me when I faced this dating pool. I'd been raised around very good men... and worked with a lot of great men. Still do. But there is a massive disconnect between THAT world, and the world that is occupied by a sizeable portion of available men around here.

 

So you are right. I'd rather be single than settle for that.

 

 

All that said, I think I've greatly overestimated my ability to continue living here and thrive emotionally... It has definitely taken it's toll. If it is even half as effed up around here as I describe it... then I need to just do whatever it takes to escape and find a healthier group of people.

Whatever sounds like you just find an excuse. Their are good men over 30. You just hate to give anyone a chance. You live in fear. You try to be in control.

[Emilia]

Thing is Red Robin, it is your attitude that is pushung the good ones away.

 

They know they are good guys and it seems you are basically expecting to prove it to you before they are worth your time.

So they decide you aren't worth theirs.

 

It wouldn't to lower your defenses a bit.

Yes, I said this before. The good, healthy ones run. Good people get worried about getting tangled up in so much anger. I don't think you are ready for a relationship RR, that's just my view for what it's worth.

 

Perhaps this is why you attract the casual ones.

[RedRobin]

Whatever sounds like you just find an excuse. Their are good men over 30. You just hate to give anyone a chance. You live in fear. You try to be in control.

 

 

I give lots of men a chance.

 

 

If they look like a duck, quack like a duck, walk like a duck, and smell like a duck... that makes them a duck.

 

 

If they don't want women to assume they are players, they will take steps to avoid appearing like one. Which I give them every opportunity to exhibit... I don't multi-date or sleep around when I'm getting to know a guy.

 

 

If they expect me to have sex with a stranger (them) and before they prove they are who they say they are and want what they say they want... then they are no different than a player in my book.

 

 

If they want to have FWB, ONS and all that, then fine. That makes them qualified to date other women who have done the same. They don't get to date me. If I have to exercise discretion, then so do they.

 

 

Too bad.

[RedRobin]

Yes, I said this before. The good, healthy ones run. Good people get worried about getting tangled up in so much anger. I don't think you are ready for a relationship RR, that's just my view for what it's worth.

 

Perhaps this is why you attract the casual ones.

 

 

My friends are 'good people', so no, I have no problems attracting good people into my life.

 

 

There just aren't any good healthy single men around here. Yes, I've met a few very nice men... but they aren't healthy in other ways. They eat too much or eat poorly, they don't exercise, they don't take care of themselves... and that is why THEY are single. I suppose I could try to make those men a project and get them in shape, but that would be disrespectful to them.

 

 

... anyway... I don't believe my anger at 'players' (as exhibited on this thread) should be extrapolated to men as a whole. I know very well how to tell the difference. To the extent that some guys feel they don't have to prove they are 'good', then they have 'players' to blame... not women who are just doing their best to meet decent people.

 

 

Genuine good guys would be wise to purge players and those who use and hurt women from their social circle to avoid being associated with them or adopting their bad habits.... is what I've suggested.

Edited February 11, 2014 by RedRobin

[RedRobin]

Red Robin

 

I'm still offended that you seem to be implying that I am a bad guy because I used OLD but didn't put down my "true relationship goals". I did put down my true relationship goals! I just didn't put down that I wanted to have sex first.

 

You know what's really bad?

 

When I was 25, just before I was introduced by a friend to my first girlfriend, I met a girl online (not via OLD) and we got along really well. Sent emails and IMs every day etc. She sent me pics of herself and so on.

 

She was a college student. She said she really liked me and wanted a relationship. Then she gave me a sob story about how she was failing her Media studies course and her nan was going to kick her out and she would have to become a cashier at Tescos. She knew I was smart and asked if I would write her paper for her. So I said sure. End result was, she git a very high score for the paper, and then a few weeks later stopped contacting me, ignored me emails and IMs.

Do you think that's acceptable, just because she's female?

 

 

Of course not, but you don't see people here glorifying that, making excuses for that kind of behavior... and people saying she should be emulated because she got what she wanted from you... or that you had it coming because you trusted her.

 

 

Just the opposite from what people are saying here about players.

[GoreSP]

I'm not effing every guy who comes along on the off-chance they are a 'good guy'...

 

 

A genuine 'good guy' is also careful.

 

 

... and yes, there is a correlation between those who have a lot of casual sex and inability to commit. If sleeping with someone is as easy as slipping into a pair of house slippers, then they can't really be trusted to control themselves or work things out when things get tough.

 

 

I suppose if the 'recovering' casual sex haver has done what it takes to assess their reasons for disconnecting sex and love... they MIGHT make a decent partner... but I still wouldn't take a chance on them... just like I wouldn't make a recovering alcoholic my first choice to take a ride home from after a night out on New Year's Eve.

 

 

Sorry... if you can't exhibit discretion before you are with someone... you can hardly expect me to believe that you can exhibit it after you are in a relationship.... Lots of things work that way. Should I also expect that a person who has a bankruptcy and up to their ears in debt will not have issues with money?? How about those who gamble? Should I give them my life savings to manage??

 

 

No? Then why should I believe that people who have lots of casual sex are a good bet for a partner? Especially a man who (I've learned as I've gotten older) usually have to lie or obfuscate to get it.

 

We've been over this in the slut shaming thread. There is no proven correlation.

 

Also, someone who gambles will not necessarily gamble your money away. Those people are able to realize 'this isn't my money' just like the person who has casual sex is able to respect a commitment.

 

Can't say the same for gambling addictions and nymphomania but gambling is not an indicator nor is having casual.

 

But hey! If you want to be defensive, prude, and judgemental be my guest!

Let me know how that works out for you.

[2.50 a gallon]

Then she dumped you as soon as she found someone better...

 

 

So you got dumped when he found someone better. Why am I not surprised!

[2.50 a gallon]

Some random thoughts from a former player

 

Many times in my youth I tried the nice guy routine. It got me no where

 

I mentioned in a previous post how upon moving into my first apartment that one of my neighbors was a high priced call girl, who taught me a lot. Not only did she sharpen and add to my sexual techniques, but she also taught me some things about women in general

 

As for the nice guy, good guy routine, "Ladies Love Outlaws", She was right the more bolder, riskier I was the more the ladies liked me.

 

She liked that I was a decent dancer, she taught me how to dance sexier, and to practice, practice, practice. Oh, on the slow belly rubbing dancing, once I got an erection, don't be a nice guy and pull back, in fact move in closer

 

She also taught me that women are jealous of other women, and that they notice when you have a woman with you. Take for example a waitress in a café that a man might be interested in. Flirting and big tips, might work, but if you really want to score, make her laugh. Better still, some time bring in a date and let her see you with another woman. I can't tell you how often this worked.

 

In fact, when I met my current lady, the love of my life, was when I stopped by a convenience store one night after work. Luckily I was able to make her laugh, and 20 plus years later, she still treasures remembering the first words that I ever said to her.

 

Also her being good looking, I assumed right away that she had a boy friend. And also being very attractive she drew a lot of attention of many guys who were constantly flirting and hitting on her. So, my problem was to find away to stand apart from them. First off I was not a pest, and when I did stop by, be friendly and try to make her laugh. Better still when my out of state girl friend flew over for a two week visit, I made sure that one night we stopped by the store while she was working.

 

We did not begin dating for over two years later, but she still remembers what my out of state girl friend looked like and what she was wearing over 20 years ago. In short she had noticed when she saw me with another woman.

 

And one last thought. I could say that me becoming a player, was a product of my environment. It was women, who taught me to be this way.

Edited February 11, 2014 by 2.50 a gallon