RedYoshi Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 Hi. I don't know where else i can talk about this because i feel a lot of shame for my actions and i'd like some advice on the situation. Me and my ex were dating for 1 Year and 9 months; but she had called it off after an argument we had gotten into. It wasn't any argument that was beyond the usual, but she felt we "didn't work". (No specifics on this exactly.. she still hasn't given me a straight answer) We started getting into fights that were antagonized by her friends group towards the end of the relationship. I recently had a traumatic experience in my personal life that has greatly shifted my perspective on life.. I used to be a very pessimistic person who would look back on a persons mistakes and hate them for it, instead of being open to giving second chances and moving past old mistakes. During this time it was very hard not having support and i guess i've been wanting our old relationship back more then anything because it's really hard to look forward to the next day after the experience, and she was my closest friend for the year and 9 months we were together. We started talking while she's been with her boyfriend, she said that she was content, but constantly continued to talk to me and seek my attention. She made it clear that she didn't want to date because of the stress brought onto her VIA her friends for dating me. She wasn't happy with the attention her boyfriend was giving her (He texts her very rarely, never talks to her on the phone, etc.), so she used me to substitute that i suppose. We hung out recently, watched some TV and got food and in the heat of the moment ended up Kissing/etc... I'm not proud of my actions. I had the ability to stop it, but i didn't. I don't want to drop her completely; i have a small group of friends and sharing almost everything with this girl has made me love her a lot more then just a partner... however, she doesn't want to break up with her boyfriend and seems to want to pretend like it never happened. Should i just cut contact with her? Keep it to strictly texting? I know i probably come off to be selfish here, and i was. I just don't want this to get any more out of control than it is already. She clearly has feelings for me, but i don't want to be that guy who "Destroyed" her current relationship. I'm a very committed person myself when it comes to relationships and i know if i was her boyfriend i'd be very hurt by all of this... Moreover, how do i prevent my co-dependency on her if i do choose to cut it off completely. It's very difficult for me because i've had such strong feelings for her, but i want to make the best of this ****ty situation. Thank you for all the advice; i really appreciate any insight. I'm still young and stupid, but i really want to do whats best here. Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 What is best for you is to not get involved with someone who is emotionally unavailable. Right now, even if single, she is a mess which is why she can cheat without much forethought or care. Don't allow yourself to be an emotional tampon for her when she needs a boost. Personally I'd say you need to cut all contact with her until both yourself and she have healed. Link to post Share on other sites
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