Realized my ex is a psychopath

[depressedinbama]

Hello everyone. I am no longer "depressed," but I can't change my username. I won't go into my whole story, as it is very long, but will give you the main points.

 

Last April, I finally left my boyfriend of six years who I now know is a psychopath. And I can finally admit to myself and my family that he was emotionally abusive. After a great start to the relationship, it changed to being criticized for what I said, what I wore, where I worked, everything. He complained about my family, my friends and since he is an atheist, even had me questioning my faith in God. (Which I can happily now say that my faith is stronger than ever. God helped me get through this and I now know that God loves me no matter what!)

 

He never hit me, but came so close as to clenching his fist. (I know the reason he didn't hit me is because he is afraid of my adult son who is QUITE large and could break him in two. I bruise very easily, so it would be hard to hide it.)

 

I have found out in the last 9 months that almost everything he said to me was a lie. I had no idea...he would look me straight in the eye and lie to me and I had no clue. I don't know for a fact that he cheated on me, although I do know he "cyber-cheated" on me. (And I also know for a fact that he has cheated on his current girlfriend.)

 

The last nine months of our relationship we lived together, and things were the worst of all. He criticized me constantly, never wanted to go anywhere, and expected me to work, do all the cleaning and cook for him. I did work, and did all the cleaning, but I'm a horrible cook, so I didn't cook much for him, which he reminded me of all the time. Complained that I never did anything around the house and that I was "lazy and spoiled."

 

As for our sex life...it disappeared. While I lived there, we had sex a total of 2 times. He kept putting me off by saying he was tired, and eventually got mad if I suggested it, so of course I quit bringing it up. (I always walked on eggshells around him, trying not to make him angry. The least little thing could make him explode, so I had to be very careful). While he wouldn't touch me, some nights when I would roll over in my sleep, I would wake up enough to see him on the computer watching porn and pleasuring himself.

 

Things just kept getting worse until I couldn't take it anymore and left. I lived with my mother for a month until I got my apartment. And stupid me, tried to get back with him! We talked on the phone some, and one of the last nights we talked, it was like old times with him calling me "honey" and "baby." We talked about starting over and I naively thought it would be better this time.

 

So, the day after the starting over talk, he posts on Facebook that he is "in a relationship." But no, it wasn't with me...he had reconnected with his high school sweetheart and went so far as to professing his love for her on FB! I was devastated, and it took me months to get over him. But now I know that it was the best thing that could have happened. If I had gotten back with him...I cringe to even think about it. Who knows what he would have done?

 

Anyway, I am now single by choice and I have never been happier. I have a loving relationship with God and have reconnected with my loving family, especially my son. I want to be able to help other women who are in abusive relationships and tell them that they are not alone and that they don't NEED a man to make them whole or love them. God loves everyone and you also have to learn to love yourself. Well, like I said, this was just the condensed version and it still ended up being long, but I think you get the gist of it. Thanks for reading.

[Philosoraptor]

Well congrats for getting away from this loser and starting to get your life back on track.

[David87]

O my Good, I hate this kind of people. Pick yourself up and forget about him.

[M30USA]

Lots of psychopaths in the world. Unfortunately they don't come with warning labels on their foreheads.

 

Another thing I've learned is that their family always sides with them. I guess in a way, it's good that everybody, no matter how bad, has people who love them. This is probably a mercy of God. But it means that you can never rely on communicating with their family about their serious problems due to their flesh and blood bias.