Girlfriend Stayed the night at a friends house (male)

[StanMusial]

Are you sure you're not already just FWB?

[soccerrprp]

Bump

 

After all this, do you think it could work out that we just stay friends, possibly FWB?, or is the situation too volatile and I should just break it off completely.

 

I'm only asking because for some reason I still have feelings for her, although not as strong as before this incident. And I don't really have any female friends at the moment either.

 

Hmmmmm. It sounds like you may have stronger feelings for her than she does for you. I could be wrong.

 

SO, you're going to tell her that you want a FWB relationship? Give her the choice as to whether she wants that or not? Or are you going to string her along and lower yourself to her level by taking advantage of her, deceiving her?

 

So, you don't have any female friends. You have male friends you hang out with? Do you have your own life?

[yonex]

After weighing my options, I thought it was right to break up with my girl, so I did. I do feel a bit bad though because she had a female friend over and I asked for some privacy and then broke up with her in a nice way. Even though I had to break up with her, i still felt pretty damn sad.

 

She then asked why, and as I said a few reasons, she just told me to get out and leave her house, and I could tell she was pretty upset/pissed. So I just packed up my stuff and left, as I left she said are you happy, which I didn't reply and closed the door. I then texted her saying don't tell me to leave, and then say something on my way out. This is when she started sending me some pretty harsh texts.

 

I left it with her that I need time, but I may want to be friends with her in the future.

 

How long should I wait until I ask if she wants to be friends? And if she sends me texts looking for answers/closure should I meet with her one final time for that purpose?

[CarrieT]

Don't try and be friends. Not for a long, long time...

 

Years even. By then, you will be different people and it won't matter to you anyway.

[ktya]

Oh you youngsters.

 

I'm an old lady (38) so at my age, I absolutely wouldn't be having it.

 

However, regardless of age, I don't think it sends a great message to a significant other when there's spending the nights goings ons.

 

This obviously makes you uncomfortable, so speak up. That said, I think you have a bit more going on in the department of trust that you need to deal with.

 

 

37 male here. Ditto to this sage advice.

 

Put males and females together alone overnight, add in a little alcohol and a sprinkle of sexual tension and things can happen pretty quick.

 

Regardless of whether anything actually happened, to be seeing someone for a year and then they do this without calling you, apologizing profusely for their conundrum and asking you if its ok before they actually stay he night is disrespectful.

 

You can bet your bollocks that if you stayed the night at some girls house she would either be beside herself or wouldnt care because shes already playing around.

 

Most girlfriends even have a problem with their man hanging around with a single female friend alone during the daytime in public. Staying the night at a single girls house would normally initiate the flying frying pan response with a lot of fireworks and a girl marching out the door.

[ZackSteele]

@yonex

 

Dude…

 

You sound like me when I was 23

and

The situation your in right now sound Exactly like a relationship I experienced when I was your age

 

Ok, Heres the deal:

 

I don't know much about your situation with this girl

I don't know much about this girl, just generalizations (my beliefs based on experience)

But,

This girl either:

a.) knows exactly what she's doing

or

b.) just wants to be completely honest with you

 

Now, If you ask me…

Her being 19,

I think she knows exactly what she's doing

You mentioned you went through this girls phone… Girls (and guys) delete ****

She told you she was staying at this guys house to see where your boundaries were

 

You have to lay down some standards you have

The things you believe to be ok, and things that simply aren't

 

You also have to consider what you want

Like, really what you want out of the relationship

 

Based on your inexperience its seems like She was then one who set the tone of the relationship from the beginning.

And thats fine in some situations

But, there come a point where you have to let her know what is cool with you and what get under your skin

 

Having said all of that,

I think this chick might be hot, good in bed, sexy body, and very outgoing

These are the type of girls that you need to be stern with and not tolerate the things they think they can get away with

Because if you don't, its a downhill battle

 

Hope that helps

Zack

(PM me if you need more advice, always happy to help)

[yankees51988]

THIS OP.

 

Grown adults do not spend time together at nite after a certain hour with out their being, at least, sexual tension.

 

Healthy adults less than 40 probably at least think about sex at that hour. We have needs. We sometimes self satisfy. If a good long time friend is there, and already ready to go... why not? Hell IMHO I often wonder why people don't choose their steady opposite best friend as a lover. Unless that person is utterly repulsive or something....

 

Hahahahaha, wtf is this? Dumbest thing I ever heard. Ummm hello who goes out to the bar to get wild before 10 pm? Of course you can go out at night w/o sexual tension. I went to the bar almost every night two weeks ago with a good chick friend of mine while I was crashing on her couch a couple states away. We were out getting annihilated till 2 or 3 am every day and not once did I think of banging her, nor her think of banging me- we just wanted to get out and party and there is no sexual tension. That is what normal adults do- go out at night, it's not like we are children with curfews plus we work during the day. Hell, unless it is the weekend I usually don't see my friends (girls included) until at least 8 or 9 pm, usually meet up around 10. The hour of the day has nothing to do with the sexual tension, ha.