Tryingtobegrateful Posted January 23, 2014 Share Posted January 23, 2014 Do I even want to forgive? It just strikes me in another thread He has lost nothing he realizes that he loves his ex still (or he knows that from the beginning to the end, I just reminded him of his ex...then he realized I was not even close to her...I was "shallow" and "scornful") and he is going to spend the whole summer with her....while he wouldnt even want to spend a week with you and kept trying to kick you out but decided to let you stay only because of guilt I know some people here would like their ex-es being in a rebound so they would have a second chance...but it feels like **** when you realize that you are the rebound when he promised you the world before... Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 23, 2014 Share Posted January 23, 2014 Most people do not go into a rebound relationship intentionally trying to hurt the new person. They see the new person as almost a savior, somebody to help them work through the pain. When they wake up & realize they are still in love with the EX, there's not much for you to do except let go. If anything, if you know something about your new person's past, if you think it's too soon you needed to have guarded your heart a bit more closely. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Mondmellonw Posted January 23, 2014 Share Posted January 23, 2014 I don't know how to do that, but the first response is true, I guess. My case is weird... I was a rebound to a relationship of 5 years. I decided to broke up with him and then he slept with her, became friends, and started dating with one girl friend I had. So, I dunno if I was really a rebound, or if he is just a jerk. He was very happy with me at first, so was I. We put a lot onto the relationship and he suddenly started to get colder. Things went bad, I didn't trusted him, I broke it off. It's not easy to forgive when they act like crap. But it's good for you if you do it. You will be at peace. And for them, well, remember: "what comes around, goes around". Link to post Share on other sites
radiodarcy Posted January 23, 2014 Share Posted January 23, 2014 Most people do not go into a rebound relationship intentionally trying to hurt the new person. They see the new person as almost a savior, somebody to help them work through the pain. When they wake up & realize they are still in love with the EX, there's not much for you to do except let go. If anything, if you know something about your new person's past, if you think it's too soon you needed to have guarded your heart a bit more closely. I've been a rebound before and have come dangerously close to being a rebound (with a different guy) again. The first time I was used I didn't realize what was going on almost ten months in when he started crying in his soup over a girl he had previously told me was just a friend - - only to admit that she was his girlfriend and the only woman he had every loved since his separation and subsequent divorce five years ago But as d0nnivain pointed out, I've learned to guard my heart more carefully. If a guy seems to be coming on too strong, too soon and I know he's just out of a relationship, I've learned to keep my distance. As for forgiving him, it took me a long time, but it's been three years since it ended and I'm pretty much over it. It happened, it sucked that it did. But at least I learned a lesson out of it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tryingtobegrateful Posted January 23, 2014 Author Share Posted January 23, 2014 To make things worse, he is my first love, turns out what I thought was magical was that he was looking at someone through me...I just feel so dirty and used... For me, I did feel the instant attraction... tI too broke up with my previous (causal) boyfriend 3 weeks before we met... so I that's why I did not suspect much when we really were instantly attracted... Link to post Share on other sites
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