Author xUnknown Posted September 23, 2014 Author Share Posted September 23, 2014 (edited) We skyped tonight and it went pretty well. The first 35 minutes went great, just talked about our days, other stuff. And then I brought up what needed to be said. She got a little upset because the conversation between us was going great and didn't want to ruin it. I understood her, but I wasn't about to sweep it under the rug. We agreed that the distance has gotten to us. My work slowed, while hers picked up. I text her during the day that goes unanswered, I take it personally -when its simply just a change of schedule. She loves her job in FL, and wants to take the job that they're going to offer her, but timing isn't right. Lots of stress because of this, school work, and the move. In short, she felt things have becoming "routine" again. She brought it up, but I agreed. I hadn't felt that way until the last few weeks. "Good morning, how did you sleep; How's your day; Hows you're night/Goodnight"...same thing every day. I said, I though you like it when I ask things like that. She agreed, but mentioned that its becoming predictable. She tried to break the "routine" and not text as often - which I took that as, something's wrong and caused me a lot of anxiety. She doesn't handle criticism very well, so when I tell her what bothers me or what she isn't doing, she takes it personally and "shells" up (in a sense, becoming a shell and holding it in). Its been this way since childhood for her where her father was very hard on her growing up (nothing was ever good enough). So, when I bring up things that bug me, she doesn't want to talk because she gets the feeling of being "attacked" - which I assured her I wasn't intending to do so. I hate how I feel like she gets upset/bothered at me when I react one way or over think things. But, I do so because of her doing this or that in the first place. Its a catch 22...something bugs her, she doesn't bring it up, causes me to react one way, then I bring it up, then she gets upset with me for bringing it up...when I only reacted this way because of how she handled it in the first place. She said that I still feel this way (the lack of talking, distance between us) in 2 weeks after she gets home to bring it up again so we can talk about it. She said she never intended or felt like there was a significant distance between us as I had and that she was secure in the relationship to know that I'm still there and still love her and doesn't need to talk to me all the time every day. She said that things have just gotten so busy that the "routine" gets boring and she's trying to spend time with her friends as much as she can in the last few days because she doesn't know if/when she's going to see them again. She apologized for how she was making me feel (like I as a convenience to her, neglected). She said she didn't intend to, but that's how she tried to break the routine, along with being stressed from school/work, and trying to spend time with her friends. It was a good discussion, that I'm glad we had...now to figure out how to break this "routine". We both know it will take time. Thanks for listening. Edited September 23, 2014 by xUnknown Link to post Share on other sites
Author xUnknown Posted October 6, 2014 Author Share Posted October 6, 2014 Continued here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/long-distance-relationships/495922-new-anxiety-ldr Then finally: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/496531-well-i-m-back#post5935444 Link to post Share on other sites
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