its complicated

[cap er nick]

Okay any help would be appreciated.

Two years ago when me and this girl first became friends she was in a relationship and I was fresh out of a two relationship, I made a comment about how every time I try to be friends with a girl one of us ends up falling for the other. She said she could be my friend without worrying about that happening. Fast forward a year, we have become extremely close, talking on the phone every day texting 24/7, etc etc. We are both now single. One night I took her to dinner and I ended up kissing her. Everything was great that night but she said she wasn't sure if she was ready for a relationship. I told her I understood and that she should just think about it and if she wasn't it was no big deal. Well the next day I text her and told her I regretted what I did and that I didn't want to ruin our friendship. Things were awkward for awhile but we stayed friends although we were no where near as close. This happened in November of 2012 in June of 2013 I moved out of state. As soon as I moved we became extremely Close again, it was obvious to me that she had feelings for me. I ended having my car break down and lost my job in the same week this last November so my mom flew me back to Cali to visit for a couple weeks in December. I saw this girl several times while I was in town but I made no move on her because I didn't want to ruin our friendship again but on my last night in town we went to dinner with her best friend and her boyfriend and the whole night she was begging me to move back, she even made a remark about me moving with her and her best friend in their two bedroom apt. When we were alone she ended kissing me and asking me to please stay in Cali. I gave her no answer but we continued to enjoy the night until she took me home. In the morning I called her and told I was going to move back but I had to settle my affairs out east first and proceded to board the plane home. She ended texting me saying that while she does miss me she doesn't want to force me to move back to a place that has only made my life difficult and that I should do what is best for me. I told her nobody is forcing me to do anything that I want to come back. To which she told me that she knows that if I move back she knows I'm going to become a pot head again and that she was me she wouldn't move if she was in my position. Confused I asked what was with her, I didn't understand why she spent all day trying to convince me to move back and now that she has she was trying to convince me other wise. She replied that was exactly it that she didn't want to have to convince she want me to do it of my choice and that she only did so by kissing me and that's not how she wanted to do it. And then again mentioned my smoking habits. I told her that I wanted to be around my friends and family. That the only reason I didn't want to move back was because I felt like that would be giving up and now I don't feel like it would be. She asked why and I told her because I'm not leaving because I can't make it out here or because I want to go back to my addictions but because I want to be home and around her. To which she said she wanted to be clear that we weren't makes plans for a relationship. This one threw me off so I just said yeah that's not what I meant. The conversation went off into random subjects and everything was normal. This was on new years eve btw. I got home a little before midnight and told her happy new years then went to bed. She text me in the morning and I was telling her about how my apt was broken into and I'm sure it was my neighbor. We proceeded to trash talk the neighbor together and made a joke about how she had a lot of resentment towards someone she doesn't even know. She said well yeah if she is going to be a two faced back stabbing witch. I said everyone is a back staber she replied not me and I told her she will find a reason to stab me in the back eventually. I saw right away that was a stupid thing to say and as you could guess it upset her. I apologized and explained that I was just frustrated with the situation. She said she understood and it was no biggie. We kept talking but she was acting off and not really giving much convo to reply to so I stop texting her back. I should note that I'm also friends with her little sister and that we were also texting so about 30 minutes later she text me asking "you know I'm aware youre texting my sister and not me right?" I replied I didn't know I had texting rules. She said no you don't but you have a if you're going to act like a Bitch to me you're going to tell me why rule. i explained I just didn't know what to say that nothing was wrong. She said okay it just seemed like there was but she didn't know because I've never been off with her before. I made a bad sex joke and explained that maybe I was just stressed because I have a bunch of bills due, I have no money left, I miss my family, and I'm extremely home sick now after visiting Cali. Right here is when everything seemed to go back to normal. She asked if that was why I was still awake so late to which I said sarcasticly that I'm just nocturnal. She informed me that lack of sleep is bad for me. Again sarcastically I told her I was a big boy and I would be fine. She didn't reply and I didn't think anything of it. A week went by and we didn't have any contact, I didn't want to be the first to make contact because she didn't reply to my last text and for some reason when that happens I always wait for the other person to get in touch. But she posted something on Fb about how even if we were married I wouldn't text you first. I assumed this was about me, so I waited two more days and then I text her. She never replied. In all the years we have been friends she has never ignored my text. It has now been another two weeks for a total of 3 weeks since we talked. Me and her little sister have been talking pretty much every day and it seemed to me like she was starting to crush on me. She was even liking literally everything I posted on Fb Twitter and IG so I posted some random pictures on IG just to see if she would like them. She like all four of those pictures as well. Now just a few minutes ago I said something about being back in town right around vday and she asked if we could be Valentine's I agreed but only as friends. This whole situation has me really confused. Why is she sending me so many mixed feelings? Did she only want me because she couldn't have me? Did my sarcastic remarks have more impact then I assumed? Is she using her sister to some advantage? Or is the sister acting on her own accord? What should I do about contact? I would think no contact would be best because I don't want to seem needy or anything. If she doesn't contact me at all before I get back in town should I let her know I'm town? Because I have plans with her sister and I can see her getting very upset if I go out with her sister and dont even give her a call. Your opinion is most welcome. I apologize for the poor grammar and spelling, it's late and I'm on a small touch screen phone.

[ludicrousdream]

Hm... Well what do you think about her? Do you have feelings for her? I think she likes you but doesn't think you would reciprocate or maybe since you told her the thing about either you or your friend that's a girl ends up falling in love, she feels like she can't have feelings for you and is in denial a little... And also since you said you regretted kissing her cause you didn't want to ruin their friendship, maybe she also feels that way...? But what I wanna know is how you feel about her.

And well didn't you guys say you would see each other on Valentine's Day? Just maybe when you get in town if still no sign from her you should ask if you guys are still on for V Day...

[cap er nick]

I definitely have feelings for her. And it was her little sister that made plans with me for Valentine's day. Which is kinda weird if you think about it haha

[ludicrousdream]

Ooooh okay I just realized you were talking about her sister. Um... Yeah I would definitely just let her know you're in town and stay away from her sister, in the sense, don't lead her on and try to insinuate that you want nothing with her... I don't have a sister but I have a best friend that's almost like a sister to me and if a guy starts like...passing us around, y'know? Neither of us would appreciate that. ^^;

Though why don't you just make your move? Do something romantic. Tell her I wanna ruin our friendship, let's be lovers instead. x) Nah jk but for real what've you got to lose? She won't hate you if you tell her and she doesn't feel the same way... But judging by what you said it seems like she kinda does.

[cap er nick]

The biggest thing is I'm still not over my ex even though it has been 3 years since we broke up. I'm not emotionally ready for a girlfriend, it feels more like I'm just trying to replace my ex. the girl (we will call her k and call her sister m) has feelings for me and while Im sure she wants a sexual relationship I don't think she wants a boyfriend right now either. And me and M have been friends for a year now and have hung out along with K. I don't think K is in anyway jealous of this relationship as there has never been any flirting between M and I besides her calling me hun a few times. But I guess the Valentine's thing could be viewed differently to someone else.

[ludicrousdream]

Okay... I'm not really sure what to say then... But three years is a long time. o_o Must've been a hell of a story...

Well I guess if I were you I would just let her know that. Just tell her that you do have feelings for her but aren't ready for a relationship yet... Or just do nothing I dunno what else to say. x) Or just have sex with her I guess... Kind of at a loss right now. ^^;