SadNLonley Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 Originally posted in Friendship, but maybe this is the place for it insteada. Im newly single (7 mo) and I really need to get out to meet new people. I heard about this site, and being Im in a big city, there are tons of groups. Just curious how it works and what you thought of it if you joined. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 I have used it more for business then social but you meet usually in a public place with like minded people. I joined a singles group years ago that got together to play board games. I liked it as a low key way to get to know new people. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 Yes, it's very good for meeting like-minded people. If you join an activity group (walking, sport, etc) then you instantly have something in common and a conversation starter. I don't know what the generic "social" groups are like because I've never tried any, but I imagine they're pretty good also. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SadNLonley Posted January 24, 2014 Author Share Posted January 24, 2014 So, did you go to these meetings alone not knowing anyone? If so, do people just come up and introduce themselves? Thats the one thing that makes me nervous... Going into a group thing all by myself not knowing a single person. Link to post Share on other sites
Aquanut Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 It's great for finding people who are interested in what you're interested in or for trying new things. Meetup is more active in some places than others. There are special singles meetups but I prefer meetups centered around activities. When I was newly divorced it was a great way to socialize and make new friends without the pressure involved in dating. I have many new friends and acquaintances that I met through various meetups. I also made a lot of other friends by co-founding a club related to one of my hobbies. I was actually quite isolated during my marriage so after I got involved I was no longer lonely even though I was still single. I dated two people I met through meetup (they asked me out) but I looked for dates outside of my meet ups because I didn't want to risk creating drama within the group. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Aquanut Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 So, did you go to these meetings alone not knowing anyone? If so, do people just come up and introduce themselves? Thats the one thing that makes me nervous... Going into a group thing all by myself not knowing a single person. People were very welcoming. I was afraid of the same thing. The larger events would have name tags and there was always an organizer who would be sure to welcome you. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 So, did you go to these meetings alone not knowing anyone? If so, do people just come up and introduce themselves? Thats the one thing that makes me nervous... Going into a group thing all by myself not knowing a single person. Yes I went by myself but I went to the business ones 1st. I learned to smile & say hello. In that context I was more confident that I wouldn't be perceived as "easy" . . . a single woman making the first move so to speak . . . I was having trouble letting go of old stereotypes. After I gained confidence in that realm, I was more comfortable in the social ones. Again, I started with low key groups. But I was also conscious that everybody was the newbie once so people were welcoming. Unlike high school where it's terrifying to be different / new & one false step makes you the object of ridicule, as adults if you can so much as smile & mutter "hi" to break the ice, most people will jump off from there . . . & viola you made a new acquaintance. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Frank2thepoint Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 I used meetups for a few activities/hobbies (flag/touch football and tabletop rpgs). I never used it for the social aspect such as singles meets. I felt like those are a bit daunting because there is this pressure already present, so many of the members are on their guard, evaluating and judging you. For the meetups center around an activity, there is just about having fun. The one main risk with any type of meetups is joining as the new person, the group will have its established members who can be tight knit and wary of newcomers. Although there is the group's organizer who may welcome you, this is not a guarantee that the group as a whole is welcoming. Check the reviews for a group extensively, treat every review with a grain of salt, contact the organizer and ask him/her questions. If you do not get a response to your questions, that usually means the organizer has no time for new members. Link to post Share on other sites
Disillusioned Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 Much of it depends on the organizer of the meetup group. Some organizers don't know what they're doing, or they don't have it together, while others do such a good job they need to split their group into regional chapters and bring some of the members in on the leadership team to help out. But it's been my experience that if all you're looking for is just a singles group who do the nightclub scene, you'll be overwhelmed with choices because those groups come a dime a dozen. There aren't as many singles groups that do things other than alcohol or clubbing. Link to post Share on other sites
Eau Claire Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 (edited) I attend literally 3 or 4 get togethers a week. Meet such great people. Many couples, many singles. All ages...all ethnicities. I agree with Aquanut...attend activity groups. My boyfriend and I went dancing with a group on Tuesday...going again tomorrow...after going on a hike with another meet up. The majority of people attend by themselves. Lots on new immigrants who don't know anyone...new people to the area...retirees...etc. Never been to any single type Meet Up but don't confuse those with social events. Our Meet Up dances are social...so much fun...more so when there are 60 people and about 5 of us know how to dance. Just non judgemental fun. Edited January 24, 2014 by Eau Claire 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SadNLonley Posted January 25, 2014 Author Share Posted January 25, 2014 Ok, you all have me a bit excited to try some of these. I am single, but not necessarily looking to find someone to date. I'm really looking to make new friends to give me things to do. I just need to jump in and try it out. thanks for your input 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Heatemyheart89 Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 So, did you go to these meetings alone not knowing anyone? If so, do people just come up and introduce themselves? Thats the one thing that makes me nervous... Going into a group thing all by myself not knowing a single person. You will be fine a lot of people go alone I bought a friend with me when I went to one but I would have been perfectly okay without him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MixedUpChick Posted January 26, 2014 Share Posted January 26, 2014 I live in an area where there are a lot of active meetup groups, I joined a half dozen or so groups, but I'm an introvert so I'm SUPER picky which events I'll attend. I always go to events by myself and it can be awkward to walk into a large group of a bunch of strangers, & it's way outside my comfort zone. The first group I joined a couple years ago was a singles group, as of about a year ago I'm actually now running that group & I changed it so it's no longer just for singles (it made the dynamic kind of weird sometimes). Our group is a smaller group & those of us who schedule events put a lot of effort into making sure we greet & include people so nobody feels alone at an event unless they want to be. I've also attended events with groups where you walk in & there are 50-100 people & nobody tries to include you; I hate that so I rarely go to events with some of those huge groups for that reason. Definitely try some groups & events, if you don't like something, try a different event or even a different group until you find what's right for you. Meetup is AWESOME, it's a great way to make new friends & get out & do things you might not do all by yourself. I'm the biggest advocate for meetup that I know 2 Link to post Share on other sites
kart180 Posted January 26, 2014 Share Posted January 26, 2014 used meetup.com just to see nearby meetings but nothing of interest near me. Gotta go to Orlando or WPB Link to post Share on other sites
irc333 Posted January 26, 2014 Share Posted January 26, 2014 Kind of funny that this was brought up right near the "Some personality types won't succeed with online dating". Strangley enough, I know of quite a few women that oppose dating within the Meetup groups. They see it as more of a "safety" zone and prefer to keep their ONLINE dating lives separate from Meetup. I had a woman that I met on POF that actually doesn't see Meetup as a means for ANYTHING romantic. Kind of silly if you ask me, considering you're shooting yourself in the foot. Meetup and online dating....NEVER the TWAIN shall meet? Originally posted in Friendship, but maybe this is the place for it insteada. Im newly single (7 mo) and I really need to get out to meet new people. I heard about this site, and being Im in a big city, there are tons of groups. Just curious how it works and what you thought of it if you joined. Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted January 26, 2014 Share Posted January 26, 2014 Yep, I love it. I highly recommend it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted January 26, 2014 Share Posted January 26, 2014 Do people under 30 go to meetup groups? Link to post Share on other sites
Eau Claire Posted January 26, 2014 Share Posted January 26, 2014 used meetup.com just to see nearby meetings but nothing of interest near me. Gotta go to Orlando or WPB Why not start your own? Easy to do. The site walks you through. Look through the Meet Up groups of a larger city...our city has just over 700 groups. It can give you limpets of ideas. The ones here that attract a couple thousand members are hiking/nature groups. Do Something New Groups, etc. In the description they emphasize for regular people just wanting to have fun. A note..our hiking group has had a half dozen relationships start and us women can see a dozen more undeclared relationships. It's such a nice relaxed setting to talk and meet people. I looked up some stats for the Single events...they only attract a dozen or so attendees. Whereas our social dance group, where almost nobody actually knows how to dance, often has about 75. Relationships happen like regular life...as a byproduct of just guys and gals mixing. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Teraskas Posted January 26, 2014 Share Posted January 26, 2014 Given the amount of times Meetup.com was mentioned, I was tempted to give it a go. Went there, registered my profile, etc. the works but there's nothing even close to where I'm at. Closest venues are in Brussels which is like a 50km drive. Quite painful via public transportation. As for the venues, I'm getting all kinds of non-singles events. Not really my thing imo. Link to post Share on other sites
Eau Claire Posted January 26, 2014 Share Posted January 26, 2014 50 kms away? Good thing you don't live in North America. 50 kms is next door. We think nothing of going twice that for an evening drive to get an ice cream. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Teraskas Posted January 26, 2014 Share Posted January 26, 2014 50 kms away? Good thing you don't live in North America. 50 kms is next door. We think nothing of going twice that for an evening drive to get an ice cream. So I've heard. ^^ It's not just that though. There are always massive traffic jams with a guaranteed minimum of 2-3 hours. No train station in my vicinity, etc. lol. Link to post Share on other sites
kart180 Posted January 27, 2014 Share Posted January 27, 2014 Why not start your own? Easy to do. The site walks you through. Look through the Meet Up groups of a larger city...our city has just over 700 groups. It can give you limpets of ideas. The ones here that attract a couple thousand members are hiking/nature groups. Do Something New Groups, etc. In the description they emphasize for regular people just wanting to have fun. A note..our hiking group has had a half dozen relationships start and us women can see a dozen more undeclared relationships. It's such a nice relaxed setting to talk and meet people. I looked up some stats for the Single events...they only attract a dozen or so attendees. Whereas our social dance group, where almost nobody actually knows how to dance, often has about 75. Relationships happen like regular life...as a byproduct of just guys and gals mixing. Thanks for the tip, I should do that. Im now back on OKC but still now luck. They visit my profile but nothing more. all the good women are younger than me in their early 20s Link to post Share on other sites
irc333 Posted January 27, 2014 Share Posted January 27, 2014 I've heard an organizer having to actually "dismiss" people because they had this stupid. "Don't piss where you eat" policy within their group. Apparently, some women were attending events with no intention of being asked out or 'getting the digits" from and men were warned (sometimes women), further incursions allowed them to be dismissed from the group. I think that's why the human race was wiped out when the floods came, at least the animals knew better to "couple up" prior to the natural disaster and made their way to the ark. LOL Much of it depends on the organizer of the meetup group. Some organizers don't know what they're doing, or they don't have it together, while others do such a good job they need to split their group into regional chapters and bring some of the members in on the leadership team to help out. But it's been my experience that if all you're looking for is just a singles group who do the nightclub scene, you'll be overwhelmed with choices because those groups come a dime a dozen. There aren't as many singles groups that do things other than alcohol or clubbing. Link to post Share on other sites
MixedUpChick Posted January 27, 2014 Share Posted January 27, 2014 I've heard an organizer having to actually "dismiss" people because they had this stupid. "Don't piss where you eat" policy within their group. That's funny, I haven't heard of that happening around here. Two of my good friends met in the group I'm now running, & they got married last summer. I know of a few other couples who are either dating or have gotten married, in various other groups. If you do happen to meet someone at an event to date, you know right off the bat that you have some common interests. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Eau Claire Posted January 27, 2014 Share Posted January 27, 2014 No, nothing like that here either. We assist organizing two of The Meet Up groups and never had any issues. Then again, no experience with the single groups. No need in these groups for anyone to give their real names or any info. No need to attend any event. If someone is uncomfortable you can start your own group and control membership. Tomorow morning we have a short hike and then meet for coffee afterwards...maybe 20 will attend. Nice cross section. My boyfriend always has a couple of guys to chat football or similar stuff with. On Thursday we are playing dodgeball....that will be a hoot..50 signed up...from 2o to 70 years old. I haven't played dodgeball since junior high. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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